DON'T BUG ME, I'M IN A ZONE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH Media

ANAHEIM - It is in the restroom where the beauty of the new ESPNZone restaurant in Anaheim really hits home.

There's a line of TV monitors on the wall above the urinals. More are placed above the stalls, tilted at the proper angle.

Hidden cameras? Try real sports events. On this night, it's the Kings- Blackhawks game, the one to which a bunch of TVs throughout the building had been tuned.

I already had spent about an hour upstairs at the ``Sports Arena,'' which if called an arcade wouldn't do it justice. After playing virtually every virtual-reality sports game on the floor, I staggered downstairs to the restaraunt for a pile of ``baby back-back-back-back ribs.''

In a semidaze, I made it over to the other side, parked in front of a 16-by-13-foot TV screen in one of eight huge leather recliners called ``Zone Thrones,'' with the stereos build into the head rests and a button pad on the armrest to choose which of the other banks of TV monitors to which I might want to listen.

A waiter came by and, careful not to get in my way, asked if I needed another beer.

I closed my eyes. I nearly wept.

``When do you want to leave?'' my far-more-level-headed girlfriend asked over the din.

``Never,'' I answered.

It's like the scene from ``Field of Dreams,'' when Kevin Costner's dad asks in the middle of the Iowa cornfield, ``Is this heaven?''

No, it's in Anaheim now. And Times Square in New York. And in Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago and Washington. Soon to be in Denver and Las Vegas.

To fully appreciate the 36,000-square-foot oasis, come on a day when there's nothing special you'd care to watch on TV. Then notice yourself watching everything that's remotely watchable and have to call for a wheelchair and taxi to get you back to your car.

There are ``more than 165'' TV sets on in the joint. The exact count? Apparently, that rough estimate is about as precise as the media-relations folks care to get.

But as implied by the Zone's motto - eat, drink, watch, play - you get an assault of the senses from all sides. Everything a guy could want, it has. Seriously.

``People may perceive this as another `sports bar' with some games,'' explained Randy Baumberger, the Zone's general manager, ``but the key to the success is the quality of the food.''

The floor plans for these are pretty much the same. The top level is the interactive shrine, which can get a bit expensive if your adrenaline rush is too powerful.

Each game operates with the swipe of a credit card purchased at the main window. For $5, you get 15 points and it goes up to $100 for 600 points. The game values range from a soccer pinball game (four points) to the 30-foot Xtreme Glacier Rock wall-climbing competition (24 points), with almost every sport imaginable represented by some sort of game in between.

On the entrance level, the ``Screening Room'' bar setting is off to the right, with the family-dining ``Studio Grill'' to the left that also includes the set for ESPN's weekday-afternoon ``Up Close'' show and a glass radio booth for the Joe McDonnell and Doug Krikorian show on the new KSPN-AM (1110) every Monday and Friday.

``This is built like a giant studio with all the cables in the wall,'' Baumberger said.

The placemats for the ``Studio Grill'' are like newspapers, with the previous night's scores printed on them, along with brief stories.

Eight booths in the ``Screening Room'' have flat-screen monitors attached to the tables, with touch-control channel changing and Internet access. The eight lounge chairs facing the wall of TVs have audio controls built into the left arm to pick the desired audio feed.

What Baumberger seems most pumped up about, though, is the original artwork throughout the facility. It's an L.A. sports gallery you won't find anywhere else.

``Most sports bars would just have autographed helmets or jerseys on the wall,'' he said. ``Every mixed-media piece was commissioned and designed to reflect the Southern California sports scene.''

There's a life-sized sculpture of Oscar De La Hoya in the lobby in the shape of an Academy Award Oscar. There's a sand sculpture of beach volleyball legend Karch Kiraly on one wall - complete with a hat and sun glasses he donated. Three Lakers eras are represented in blockbuster-style movie posters by artist Erza Tucker.

Then there's the huge painting entitled ``Home of the Fair Weather Fan'' by Brent Benger. It's a Dodgers game at Dodger Stadium - 5-5 in the 7th inning, and the Dodgers' right fielder is drifting back to the wall following the flight of a ball. And each person in the pavilion is doing anything but watching the action.

``I love that one,'' Baumberger said.

Imagine trying to do a TV show with a live audience not just watching, but also banging their forks on the table.

``Up Close'' coordinating producer Charlie Moynihan says they're still trying to get a feel for it in the short time they've tried it.

``This is obviously unchartered waters, but the element of the live audience is a bonus,'' he said. ``Occasionally you'll hear a baby screaming or a plate breaking in the kitchen, but you go with it. We've learned we have to bring the guests in through the kitchen area because so many people want to see them.''

Host Gary Miller agrees the show loses some intimacy the quiet studio once provided. Imagine Roy Firestone trying to get a guest to cry with a bunch of people wolfing down cheeseburgers 10 feet away.

``It definitely changes the dynamic of the show, but the overall pluses are so strong that whatever sacrifices we have to make, we benefit from the excitement and energy,'' Miller said.

It can get wild. A bunch of spectators with Titans No. 27 jerseys showed up in force to see Eddie George interviewed, and it got a little violent when they rushed the stage to get him for autographs. On the other hand, former Rams great Deacon Jones loved the attention and admiration and was egging on the crowd.

Last time they tried doing a show at an ESPN Zone, Chris Berman had the ``Monday Night Football'' halftime highlights from Baltimore. That didn't work. This probably will.

``I haven't had anyone say, 'What are all these people doing here?' '' Miller said. ``It's definitely more exciting than the old, cold garage of a studio.''

If you can't make it all the way to Las Vegas on Monday for the ESPY Awards, guess what? They're having a viewing party at the Zone.

Regardless, check it out anyway.

Any chance of an ESPNZone opening somewhere closer to the San Fernando Valley?

``We're still very much considering other locations in L.A.,'' Baumberger promised. ``Maybe not as big as this one.''

That's fine. Just as long as when I'm old, you can prop me up in one of the men's rooms and come find me in a few hours.

FACTS AND FIGURES

ESPNZone

1500 S. Disneyland Drive

Anaheim

Ph: [phone]

--Hours: Sunday-Thursday: 11 a.m. to midnight; Friday and Saturday: 11 a.m. to 1 a.m.

--Directions: Exit Interstate 5 at Disneyland offramp. Follow signs to Downtown Disney.

--Parking: Three hours free plus two free hours with validation. Each additional hour: $6. Valet: $6 plus hourly fee.

--Age requirements: Anyone under 18 must be accompanied by someone 21 or older.

SOUND BYTES

WHAT SMOKES

--And the winner, in time for Valentine's Day, of the Daily News' ``Best-Looking L.A. Sports Anchor'' - Fox Sports Net Regional reporter Lisa Guerrero is easily the winner on the women's side. But for the men . . . the votes are far too scattered. KABC-Channel 7's Rob Fukuzaki, the defending champ, was named on the most ballots but didn't sustain enough top votes to become a clear winner. Fox's Todd Donoho took the most No. 1 votes - three of them from one family voting individually - but not enough 2s or 3s to even make the cut in total balloting. KCBS-Channel 2's Jim Hill and KCAL-Channel 9's John Ireland had a strong showing. And Fox reporter Brian Curtis had the most write-ins. Our thought is to stage a glamour battle royale, with Guerrero as the referee. Thanks to all the readers for their participation.

WHAT CHOKES

--And they wonder why no one in this city stays loyal to the sports-talk lineup? Kevin Kiley and Charlie Booms, part of the Fox Sports Radio Network syndication, were force-fed to the AM-1150 listeners this week in the noon-to-3 p.m. slot (read in: the network paid the station a few million to get the show an L.A. presence and quick-fix 1150 couldn't turn it down). But there's more changes coming at the Burbank facilities. Fox moles report that starting April 1, Jim Rome will be moved to sister station KLAC-AM (570) as part of a new guy-talk lineup to go along with the Lakers and Angels broadcasts. Arnie Spanier is scheduled to be stowed away in Rome's 9 a.m.-to-noon spot. Then, after Kiley and Booms, Tomm Looney and Dave Smith become the drive-time 3-to-7 p.m. hosts leading into Dodgers broadcasts. In addition, 1150 undergoes another identity change - Fox Radio 1150, as does sister-station 610 in Lancaster.

CAPTION(S):

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Box: (1) FACTS AND FIGURES (see text)

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