DOLLARS & DIVORCE IF YOU THINK BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO, JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE TO START PAYING FOR IT.

Byline: Evan Pondel Staff Writer

When Amy Van Dyke separated from her husband, she immediately hired a ``big gun'' attorney to avoid any trouble that a ``bigger gun'' attorney could inflict from the opposing side.

Big mistake.

Attorneys' fees were hard to keep up with, and Van Dyke, a San Bernardino County project manager, soon found herself mired in two years' worth of financially draining negotiations. Her fait accompli: hiring an attorney that was incompetent.

``If I had to do it again today, I would have done everything by myself and probably saved a lot of money,'' said Van Dyke, 39, who noted that the court provides all of the necessary divorce documents online.

Of course, weeding through the minutiae of paperwork is no easy feat either. But financial consequences can weigh even more heavily on the process, creating emotional strain long after a divorce is consummated.

Lasting one year to two years, divorcing a spouse can cost anywhere from several hundred to tens of thousands of dollars. And that's the process alone. When factoring alimony and credit repair, the act of divorcing can ratchet up expenses well over those of an indulgent marriage reception.

But like buying a house or taking a vacation, getting a divorce should be approached with a budget in mind, say family law practitioners. That means prospective divorcees should consider the family income and the family debts before assuming their own piece of the pie.

The National Center for Health Statistics estimates that 43 percent of all marriages experience disruption in the form of separation or divorce after 15 years of wedlock. At the same time, there are approximately four divorces per 1,000 married people in the U.S. Though the statistic isn't as dramatic as the amount of divorce played out in celebrity magazines, Carolyn Makupson, a Pasadena-based attorney, said the financial effects of divorce can often take on a Hollywood dynamic.

Makupson rattled off several scenarios in which the ``wife liked to fly first class,'' or ``the husband didn't save up enough during the marriage.'' How about the couple that ``lived a very modest lifestyle, drove American cars ... but couldn't afford a life on their own.''

In some cases, Makupson has to subpoena bank records, tap forensic information and press opposing parties about hiding income. ``Tax returns don't always show the true picture,'' said Makupson with a sigh. ``And then the guy says, I'm going to leave the country, and spousal support becomes the biggest problem.''

To avoid such a mess, Makupson suggests keeping track of receipts the day divorce becomes a possibility. When a bank receipt arrives in the mail, file it. When a financial adviser sends a report of the family money market account, make a copy of it. And if there is a load of outstanding debt, attempt to document how it was amassed. Divorce shouldn't exacerbate paranoia, and Makupson said tending to the family finances will help mitigate future costs.

Barbaradee Letourneau, 42, wasn't so lucky.

The San Bernardino resident separated from her husband six years ago. Complicating issues, Letourneau's husband had multiple sclerosis and little income of his own. Eventually, his sister became a conservator, a court-appointed title that allows someone to take care of another person's finances.

``And now, instead of divorcing Ken, I was divorcing his sister,'' said Letourneau, who works for San Bernardino County's child and protective services. ``We then battled over property and assets. The sister made all verbal agreements I had with Ken null and void.''

Letourneau is currently paying $500 a month in alimony, $400 a month for her former husband's health insurance, and, out of approximately $1.2 million worth of assets, she will receive a couple hundred thousand dollars.

``I'm not totally resentful, because I am the person that left,'' she said. ``But, if I had to do it over, I wouldn't have prolonged the separation.''

Letourneau did some things right.

As soon as her divorce became a reality, she put $10,000 down on a home. After two years, Letourneau refinanced and bought another property, where she currently lives with her 15-year-old daughter.

But in addition to necessities such as a house, the recently divorced also purchase ``expensive treats,'' said Diana Shepherd, editorial director of Divorce Magazine. The treats often take the form of flashy cars, jewelry and even plastic surgery that serve to cover up the emotional scars.

As a rule, ``divorce is going to be as expensive as you are willing to resolve your emotional issues,'' Shepherd said. And sometimes acrimony, not alimony, can be a bigger drain on the bank account. ``Everyone talks about weddings being a time for two people to come together, but during a divorce one house can't physically split into two.''

There is also the ``Disneyland Dad'' syndrome that can prove rather costly for recently divorced men. When parents first divorce, a popularity contest may ensue as the ex-spouses try to win the children's favor, said Sam Shmikler, 49, who divorced 10 years ago.

The Simi Valley claims-training manager said Disneyland and other expensive amusement parks become the weekend du jour for divorced parents. ``And it's these kinds of expenditures you really don't think about before a divorce.''

Of course, dealing with a mortgage is among a long list of other headaches that many prospective divorcees don't think about. Other necessities including health insurance can drive up expenses, especially when a nonworking spouse is at risk of losing benefits, said H. Randall Rubin, associate dean and professor at the University of La Verne College of Law in Ontario.

Then there are pension plans, which can be divided during a divorce. That means either spouse may have to write a check for up to half his or her pension, even if the plan has not matured. Rubin said the court can also require an ``immediate cash-out,'' creating a lot of financial consternation.

The classification of community property can throw yet another wrench in divorce plans. Under California law, each spouse owns half interest of any property acquired from the date of a marriage to separation - that includes income and debt accrued during a marriage. All other items acquired are considered separate property. The confusion begins when parties argue what is considered community property and what is not, a surefire way to bolster attorneys' fees.

``Sometimes, the idea of a divorce creates this illusion that 'I'm going to be better off in every way if I get rid of my spouse,''' Rubin said. ``But there are couples who decide to stay married because of the financial consequences. And then they try to live separate lives under the same roof.''

Not Howard Crossley, 40, from Sherman Oaks.

When he and his wife divorced several years ago, they were lucky to sell their home before it foreclosed. That certainly mitigated a load of stress, Crossley said.

The film technician's biggest mistake was not hiring an attorney to sort through the divorce. ``I went in, blind. I thought it was all going to be straightforward,'' he said.

It wasn't.

Instead of agreeing to joint custody, Crossley's wife became the legal custodian. ``So I suggest people pay the money to hire an attorney,'' he said. ``I was naive at the time.''

Child support varies depending on earnings. Attorneys have the ability to print an analysis, essentially determining what kind of support a divorcee will have to pay. Steven Becker, a family lawyer based in San Bernardino, said California has specific guidelines when it comes to child support. ``And for working people, the consequences of child support can be very difficult,'' he said, noting that child support stops when the offspring turns 18. ``Other things, like the house and assets, are important, too. And people should be realistic about what these costs are going to be.''

Indeed, there are ways to avoid the financial consequences of divorce. Some couples opt for a prenuptial agreement - a contract between two people that details how assets will be distributed in the event of divorce or death.

The question is whether a couple is well-positioned for a prenup. ``If both spouses are equal in their earning capacity, then you don't really have a problem,'' said Rubin, who usually advises against prenups. ``They may sound good, although a prenup is like saying, I know it's going to last forever, but just in case it doesn't. ...''

Amy Van Dyke never considered a prenuptial agreement. When asked whether she would in retrospect, she said, ``If someone wanted me to sign a prenup, I would say they are not worth it and this marriage is not going to happen.''

Evan Pondel, [phone]

evan.pondel(at)dailynews.com

CAPTION(S):

photo

Photo:

(color) no caption (She loves me, she loves me not ... He loves me, he loves me not ...)

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer