DO YOU GIVE A HOOT?

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Not to get all prudish about this stuff or even discredit the drool factor for the spicy buffalo wings, but is anyone else pursing their lips over why the family-conscious Dodgers don't seem to have a problem allowing Hooters to bust out spots on their radio broadcasts or slam titilating ads in the game program, not to mention offer that deal of 10 free wings if the team racks up 10 runs?

``Delightfully tacky and unrefined,'' they say in the restaurant's radio tagline, but are they talking about top-heavy waitresses or the bunch of boobs who've been getting bounced around on the Dodgers' pitching staff?

And trying to stay abreast of the latest trash talking from Odalis Perez, when does Ned Colletti hand him and Toby Hall a Greyhound ticket to Yankee Stadium in exchange for peace and quiet?

Will Dodgers fans rue the day when the Padres finally get around to promoting Paul DePodesta to officially run that team, and then surprisingly runs it into the ground with Hee-Seop Choi as the centerpiece?

If Boog Powell can have a man-eatin' BBQ pit at Camden Yards in Baltimore, and Orlando Cepeda can have a Carribean BBQ stop at AT&T Park in San Fran, and Greg Luzinski can have a ``Bulls Barbecue'' at Citizens Bank Park in Philly, what's to prevent, say, a Ron Cey from opening up a Penguins' frozen yogurt stand on the third-base side of the Dodger Stadium?

Would Ben Roethlisberger save face by at least wearing a hockey helmet and with a clear shield while playing in this weekend's Lake Tahoe celebrity golf thing? Doesn't he realize Charles Barkley is out there attacking Titleists?

Shouldn't ``Sugar'' Shane Mosley agree to having Gatorade in his corner as long as it's sugar-free?

Is it hip to root for Floyd Landis now at the Tour de France?

Do the Cincinnati Reds have any other power hitters they might like to dump on, say, the Angels, for a couple of bogus relievers?

So check this out: I get this check in the mail the other day from Marion Jones ... should I even bother cashing it?

Why does it seem like the IRL is PMSing the most about Danica Patrick possibly veering off into the world of NASCAR?

Did you hear that the NHL has asked members of the media to consider referring to a sudden-death overtime tally as a ``skate-off'' goal?

That's fine and dandy that Serena Williams is returning to tennis, but does she even remember how they keep score?

FHM declares Amanda Beard, the wonder woman of the water, as the World's Sexiest Athlete ... any arguments?

What are the chances that Zinedine Zidane headbutted that Italian jerk because the mother of all insults was really just his discrediting ZZ's silky ball skills?

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