DIVORCED PARENTS VIE OVER WHERE TO BURY MARINE SON.

Byline: Andrea Cavanaugh and Lisa Friedman Staff Writers

It was the kind of custody battle Nicholas Anderson's parents probably never could have imagined when they divorced - a dispute over where their son would be buried.

Anderson, a 19-year-old Marine lance corporal, was killed last Friday in a truck accident in Iraq's Al Anbar province. And his dad and mom - living in Ventura and Las Vegas, respectively - each wanted him buried nearby.

Torn by the arguments of each side, Marine Corps officials relied on an arcane military regulation and on Wednesday granted custody of Nicholas' body to his eldest parent - his father, Al Anderson. A funeral Mass and burial for Nicholas have been scheduled for Monday in Ventura.

``It's all settled,'' said Nicholas' aunt Brenda Smith, standing on the porch of the family's Ventura house. ``The service is going to be here.''

Marine Maj. Marcus Williams, the casualty assistance calls officer at nearby Port Hueneme, called the family dispute private.

``You have two sets of parents, and they both want to have a say. It's probably nobody's business.''

Outside Al Anderson's home, an American flag and a Marine Corps flag were draped with black ribbons as the family grieved inside.

``To lose a 19-year-old like this, it's just so hard,'' Smith said. ``But this is what he always wanted to do. He wanted to be in the military since the eighth grade.

``The last time I talked to him, he said, 'This is what I'm trained to do. I'll be fine,''' Smith said tearfully.

Nicholas Anderson's mother, Eleanor Dachler, could not be reached for comment.

Anderson, who grew up in Ventura, Las Vegas and in the San Fernando Valley, spent much of his time aboard his parents' commercial dive boat, The Liberty. He loved scuba diving and fishing and spending time with brother Jackson, now 10.

He played lacrosse and football and was on the wrestling team at Bonanza High School in Las Vegas, where he graduated last year before enlisting in the military three months later, Smith said.

While stationed in Iraq, Nicholas was touched by the plight of the people there and had asked his relatives to gather school supplies for the children.

Jackson said he hopes to become a Marine when he grows up and plans to wear his military fatigues to his brother's funeral.

``I was a Marine for Halloween,'' Jackson said. ``Nick said it put a big smile on his face.''

Nicholas Anderson's girlfriend, Mandy Barnicoat, is in the Air Force and is stationed in Japan, Smith said. The couple had planned to marry when they were discharged from military service.

Officials at the Marine Corps casualty assistance branch said they had never before dealt with the type of dispute brought by Anderson's family. But, they said, the military increasingly grapples with issues surrounding children of divorced parents.

The most common, Williams said, is trying to simultaneously notify family members of a military death.

The Marines, like other branches, try to break the news in person to family members. They will coordinate their visits via cell phone if the parents live in different locations, he said.

``It's out of respect for the parents,'' said Bryan Driver, spokesman for the Marine casualty assistance branch.

Andrea Cavanaugh, [phone]

andrea.cavanaugh(at)dailynews.com

HOW TO HELP

--The Anderson family is asking that donations be sent in memory of Lance Cpl. Nicholas Hale Anderson to the remaining members of his unit. The Marines need pens, AA batteries, hard candy, cider and cocoa mix, beef jerky, magazines, lip balm, sunscreen, baby wipes, and dark socks. The supplies can be sent to Sgt. D.J. Collins or 1st Lt. S.A. Cuomo, c/o Any Marine, 1/4 Wpns Co., CAAT B, UIC 40270, FPO AP 96610-0270.

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