DECISION WASN'T PART OF DOCTORS' ORDERS.

Byline: Eric Noland Daily News Staff Writer

In the aftermath of Tom Lasorda's heart attack and angioplasty last month, the Dodgers' team physician observed an intriguing progression of emotions in the 68-year-old manager - not uncommon in such cases, the doctor said.

First, Lasorda was fidgety, impatient about returning to work. Then there was a discernible pause, an evaluation of the situation, a reassessment of his life. It culminated in a decision to step down from the job he'd discharged with intense passion for 20 years.

Lasorda, Dr. Michael Mellman said Monday at Dodger Stadium, had been ``faced with his own mortality, maybe for the first time.''

Lasorda emphatically insisted Monday that he hadn't been nudged aside by Dodgers management, and that his decision wasn't based on any medical advice to do so - positions echoed by Dodgers president Peter O'Malley and Mellman, respectively.

True, there was mild concern about Lasorda getting on a plane during one of the Dodgers' three remaining road trips and being out of range of medical care should he suffer a recurrence, but Mellman minimized the weight of that consideration.

``I think people are missing the point,'' the doctor said. ``You've got a guy who's been head down, doing a job for 20 years as a manager and 40-some-odd years in baseball who's never brought his head up to look around and see whether he wanted to do anything else.

``And all of a sudden he gets hit by something that he never anticipated that forced him to take a deep breath and look around. A lot of us are faced with that with job changes or the death of a loved one. I think it's just a reassessment of life that we all normally do at some interval.

``I think in Tommy's case, it took him 40 years to do that.''

Lasorda's repeated public statements about his eagerness to return to the dugout were dismissed as bluster. Mellman said he detected a marked softening of this resolve over the last week or so.

And Lasorda admitted as much.

He choked up with emotion as he looked toward a corner of the Stadium Club, where 9-month-old granddaughter Emily babbled away contentedly. He said he wanted to spend more time with his granddaughter, wife, daughter and son-in-law, time that is an unaffordable luxury in a pennant race.

And Lasorda softly invoked the names of Don Drysdale, Don McMahon and John McSherry. McMahon suffered a heart attack practically at Lasorda's feet in 1987 after pitching pregame batting practice at Dodger Stadium. Drysdale, the Hall of Fame Dodgers pitcher, was 56 when he was fatally stricken six years later. McSherry, an umpire, collapsed on the field in Cincinnati and died on Opening Day this season.

Lasorda, who has a well-documented affinity for exotic food in vast quantities and has seldom exhibited much concern about his waistline, says he has already altered his lifestyle significantly - eating better (he's shed 20 pounds), exercising, getting more rest.

Meanwhile, Mellman said the emotional rigors of managing in the big leagues are ``more a reliever of stress than a cause'' in Lasorda's particular case.

``I think if you had taken Tommy and said, `You're fired,' that would have been a greater demand on (his heart). People fill their lives with that which they feel most comfortable with. I think Tommy filled his life with baseball.''

And when a bit of a scare caused Lasorda to step back and review it all, perhaps the ultimate decision was not so difficult after all.

``I think he thought, `What more do I need to do? I've done it all. And now I have my good health back,' '' said executive vice president Fred Claire. ``When's the best time to leave the stage? Some people don't know.

``Tommy knew.''