DEATHS IN THE FAMILY : BRASWELL'S COACHING HELPS HIM TO COPE.

Byline: Kevin Acee Daily News Staff Writer

Who is Bobby going to call? That's what Penny Braswell wonders.

When he's finished worrying about his mother and nephew and niece and sister-in-law? When his team wins another big game? When there is a great basketball game on television and he wants to talk about it with his best friend, who is Bobby going to call?

Victor Braswell is dead. Bobby Braswell's older brother, best friend and mentor died suddenly two Saturdays ago. Gone at age 40. Gone less than two months after their father, James, died.

So when he is offered his next coaching job or is just deciding which car to buy and wants advice, who is Bobby going to call?

``They shared everything,'' said Penny Braswell, Bobby's wife. ``Any time he made a change in his life, he consulted Victor.''

Eight months ago, Bobby Braswell achieved his goal of becoming a Division I head coach when he took the job at Cal State Northridge.

To a program with little tradition, Braswell has brought promise. There is little doubt he will succeed. There is finally excitement in the Northridge gym, as the Matadors have taken to his aggressive style of play. Little more than halfway through the season, the Matadors are already one win short of the last season's victory total.

On Nov. 26, Bobby Braswell was humbled. And again on Jan. 4.

That's one way he looks at the deaths of his father and brother. He has spent the past week wondering and reading and praying. He says that he knows in his heart that God has done this. And it is OK.

``I think that's one of the reasons I'm here,'' Braswell said. ``God allowed me to come back to this area because this was going to happen.''

If Braswell were still an assistant at the University of Oregon, as he was the previous four years, there would be questions in his mind. What could he have done? Why didn't he get to see just one more time his father, who had been on dialysis for years? Why hadn't he spent more time with Victor?

There is little of that now. For Braswell, who found out this week his faith is unshakable, there is mostly celebration.

Victor, six years Bobby's elder, had missed just one Northridge basketball game this season. Bobby relished their postgame talks.

Victor would never have missed his brother's first game as a collegiate head coach on Nov. 23 in Las Vegas. After the Matadors had lost by a basket, Victor hugged his brother in the corridor next to the locker room and bragged about ragging the officials.

``They were homers,'' he said angrily.

After their father died on Nov. 26, a day before Braswell's team would give him his first victory, Victor brought their mother to a game.

On Christmas night, Bobby and his family were enjoying some quiet time when Victor's wife called and said, ``We're coming over.'' The family spent hours playing games. Bobby sighed before emitting a quick, sad laugh at this memory.

And then then there was the moment Bobby will cherish forever, when he has no one to call anymore.

Two weeks ago, days before Victor would die, Bobby's office phone rang. It was Victor. He just wanted to tell his little brother how proud he was of him.

After a long conversation, Victor told his brother he loved him. Bobby answered, ``I love you.''

Their bond had always just been there, the love mostly unspoken. Bobby loved his brother for teaching him the value of good friends and staying out of trouble. He loved Victor for the fact he was faithful to his wife, Paula, his high school sweetheart. Bobby loved his brother for coming to see his high school football and basketball games, showing him the support their father could not because he was working to support the family. He loved him for times like his senior prom, when Victor talked Paula into letting Bobby use her brand-new BMW.

Now the love was spoken. Neither man knew it, but Victor was starting to say goodbye.

``I look at all these special moments the past two or three weeks and say, `Look what God gave us,' '' Bobby said.

In the past few days, people have commented to Bobby how cruel life has been to the Braswells recently.

``It's a bad thing to happen to a family,'' people have said.

Bobby's reply: ``It is. But I think about how good God was to say, `Bobby, c'mon back and spend these last eight months with your father and brother.' ''

Bobby takes solace in the words of the pastor at Victor's funeral. The preacher said that life is full of peaks and valleys. The Braswells are in a valley. A peak will be here soon.

After spending an hour with Braswell in his suite at the team's hotel in Missoula, Mont., you, too, see it his way. While you continue to hurt for him, you have faith in his faith.

But there are questions.

This is not right. Paula Braswell should not be a widow. Jonathan, 11, should be practicing his jumpshot with his father today. Kristin, 15, should not have had to ask her uncle last week why this was happening to their family. Bobby's mother, the matriarch who reared her seven children to be good people, should not be the object of admiration and worry because she is so strong in the wake of losing two men so dear to her.

And the coach who realized his dream this past year should have his best friend to share it with.

Bobby Braswell should only have to be angry that his players have seemingly forgotten how to box out the past few games. Instead, he is angry at the hospital that twice sent his brother home in the days leading up to his death.

Bobby asks that the details not be spelled out in print just yet. Suffice it to say that when he says, ``It's just mind-boggling, simply mind-boggling,'' he is understating things.

Braswell is in the dreamlike state that tragedy thrusts on a person. His belly aches and his soul is missing some pieces. He knows it's all true, but it doesn't feel like it yet.

In one sense, it is good for Braswell that this happened during basketball season.

The day after his father died, his mother talked Bobby into coaching that night's game. The day his brother died, it was his Penny who helped convince Bobby to go coach. On both occasions, his teams won. Just being at the game ``was good for him,'' Penny Braswell said.

While his team was flying to Montana on Wednesday, he was helping finalize funeral arrangements. While the Matadors were losing at Montana State on Thursday, Bobby was out with his niece and nephew at a restaurant they had chosen.

The funeral Friday was attended by some 500 people. It seems Bobby wasn't the only one who Victor touched. Penny recalled with a small laugh that Bobby went ``over his two-minute allotment'' in a tribute to his brother.

Bobby flew to Montana that night, ready to begin life without Victor. He coached the Matadors in their loss Saturday. It was good to be with his team again.

``The thing I looked to all week,'' Bobby said before the game, ``. . . was being able to get back to the routine, being able to get back to these guys. Knowing that they depend on me and need me, that kept me going.''

Yes, but who is Bobby going to call?

PEAKS AND VALLEYS

The pastor at Victor Braswell's funeral said that there are peaks and valleys in every person's life. Cal State Northridge head coach Bobby Braswell, Victor's brother, said he will always remember those words, and that to have a valley there must be peaks. Following is a look at the peaks and valleys in Bobby Braswell's life the past month-and-a-half:

Nov. 23 - Bobby Braswell's first game as a collegiate head coach.

Nov. 26 - Father, James Braswell, dies.

Nov. 27 - Bobby Braswell's first victory as a collegiate head coach.

Jan. 4, 4:45 a.m. - Brother, Victor Braswell, dies.

Jan. 4, 7:01 p.m. - Bobby Braswell walks into the Northridge gym and coaches team to victory. In the final moments of the game, he sits at the end of the team bench and openly weeps.

CAPTION(S):

Photo, Box

Photo: (color) CSUN basketball coach Bobby Braswell lostT his best supporter, his brother Victor.

Daily News File Photo

Box: PEAKS AND VALLEYS (see text)