DATE WITH DESTINY; NOT ONLY DID OUT-OF-WORK FILMMAKER MEET SOMEONE, HE ALSO MADE A MOVIE.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Daily News Film Writer

Myles Berkowitz isn't a romantic in any sense of the word. He doesn't like soft music or candlelight dinners and practically runs screaming from the room at the mere mention of Paris.

But the fledgling filmmaker put aside his prejudices long enough to make a romantic comedy as his first movie. ``20 Dates'' chronicles, in a pseudo-documentary sort of way, Berkowitz's quest for a girlfriend - and a film deal. Along the way, the 36-year-old Brentwood resident endured a couple of lawsuits from women unhappy about being secretly filmed and actually found true love with a beautiful sales clerk named Elisabeth. The two are set to be married in October.

Here, we play 20 Questions with the ``20 Dates'' guy and, in the process, learn a little more about love, lawsuits and flirting in the presence of a camera crew.

Daily News: How did you get the idea for the film?

Berkowitz: I decided to combine my two biggest failures - my personal life and my professional life. It's sort of like peanut butter and jelly. Both are going nowhere alone. Put them together and you've got something interesting.

DN: In the movie, you go on 20 dates. Early on, you look a little rusty.

Berkowitz: I was never a dater. I met a woman after college, we lived together for four years and then we got married and then we got divorced. So I found myself back out there in my early 30s and I hadn't gone on a date for 10 years. It was strange.

DN: What was the worst part?

Berkowitz: About dating? It's all horrible. It's the worst experience a human being can go through.

DN: And you decided to make a movie about it.

Berkowitz: Well, the thing is, when you're in your 30s, you've got these biological clocks ticking - both men and women. So you bring that agenda to the table, which makes it a much more intense three or four hours. When you're younger, the stakes aren't as high.

DN: How did you break the tension?

Berkowitz: You don't. You just keep dating. And after going on a few dates - and you have to do this more than once every six months - you forget about the stakes and lower your anxiety level and it becomes so routine that there's actually a chance that you might have a good time.

DN: Living in Los Angeles presents its own set of challenges as well.

Berkowitz: Yeah. For one thing, when one business dominates a city, like the movie business does here, it becomes a lot like high school. You know who all the cool kids are and who the geeks are. And being an out-of-work actor-writer-director wanna-be, I was not one of the cool kids.

DN: And yet, you got the girl.

Berkowitz: Amazing, isn't it? People ask me, `What kind of film is this? Documentary? Romantic comedy? What?' And really, it's a public service announcement. The message: If I can meet someone, then anyone can.

DN: Well, you were married once.

Berkowitz: Sure. But it's like my dad. He wasn't a ladies' man, but he got it right once. You can be a total failure with women and you can still manage to scrape together a victory.

DN: After you met Elisabeth and hit it off, you still had to go out on more dates to finish the movie. That's not exactly a recipe for harmony in a relationship.

Berkowitz: She was upset, and I can't tell you why she put up with it. She's not an actress and she's kind of shy. She just had a good sense of humor about it and trusted me.

DN: Sounds almost too good to be true. Do some people question her authenticity?

Berkowitz: She's carrying around an engagement ring. That's my proof that she's real.

DN: What about other dates? Some seem real. Others come off a little scripted.

Berkowitz: This isn't a documentary. I shaped reality by provoking people. Just the mere fact that the camera was there shaped reality. And then taking the 120 hours of film we shot and compressing it into an 88-minute movie shapes reality. I could have made 20 different movies with the footage we shot, each telling a different story.

DN: You certainly have no reservations about looking bad. You're pretty rude to some of the women and other times really hard on yourself.

Berkowitz: I think that's why the movie works. The audience sees me and I'm one of them. I've got my good points and my bad points. I'm human. People can relate every time I do something bad or say the wrong thing.

DN: The encounter with your ex-wife was particularly raw. Did you ever forget the camera crew was there?

Berkowitz: Sometimes you do. My ex-wife and I know how to push each others' buttons. Emotions get stoked and you're off and running. Being on a date also makes you forget about the camera because it's such an intense, emotional experience. After an hour of laying yourself bare, you do forget you're being filmed.

DN: Some of the women didn't know they were being filmed, which presented a problem.

Berkowitz: It did. I didn't know that was against the law here. It differs from state to state. In New York, you can, which is how you get shows like ``Taxi Cab Confessions.''

DN: One date threatened to sue. At another point, you mention further legal problems ...

Berkowitz: We had several lawsuits.

DN: And more than a few rejections.

Berkowitz: Yeah, but between acting and trying to sell scripts for 12 years, I've had thousands and thousands of rejections. So it's nothing new.

DN: Now that you've sold a movie, has your life changed?

Berkowitz: I can afford to eat. I've been working on this movie for three years, wearing four hats - actor, writer, producer, director. That's one reason I didn't propose to Elisabeth sooner. We never had a normal life together until now.

DN: How did you propose?

Berkowitz: Elisabeth's idea of a perfect date was going on a helicopter ride around the city. Why, I don't know. I think it's stupid. But I finally scratched some money together for a helicopter ride and that's when I proposed. We landed and we went out to dinner with family and friends.

DN:Gee, that sounds kind of romantic. Did making this movie change you in that regard?

Berkowitz: I am and always have been a cynic. But I think it was Oscar Wilde who said something like, ``A cynic is just a romantic who has had his heart broken a couple of times.''

DN: Last question: Where are you going on your honeymoon?

Berkowitz: (Grimaces) Paris. You see, I really have changed.

CAPTION(S):

Photo

Photo: Myles Berkowitz and Elisabeth Wagner became a couple in the process of his dating 20 women for his autobiographical film. He later proposed during a helicopter ride, and they are planning an October wedding.