DAMON RUNYON REDUX 'SNATCH' SCORES WITH CAST OF COLORFUL CHARACTERS.

Byline: Rob Lowman Entertainment Editor

In Spain, where I first saw it, British director-writer Guy Ritchie's crazy-quilt caper movie ``Snatch'' was called ``Diamonds and Pigs.'' Now, the diamonds are easy to explain. That's what all the ex-cons, con men and low-rent mobsters are after. The pigs are another - albeit grisly - story.

If you saw Ritchie's first feature, the razzle-dazzle ``Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels,'' the same jump-cut music-video techniques are in ``Snatch,'' out this week in a two-disc DVD set. But the talented Ritchie, unlike many of his contemporaries, knows how to use them judiciously and to advance the story, which in this case - despite its mean-streets-of-London underpinnings - is played for humor.

Case in point is pretty-boy superstar Brad Pitt, who plays Mickey, an Irish gypsy with an accent that is mostly unintelligible. ``Did you understand one word of what he just said?'' asks Turkish (Jason Statham), a small-time hood and boxing promoter. But that's part of the joke: Take one of the world's most recognizable stars, put him in scruffy duds, cover him in tattoos, and make it impossible to understand him. To his credit, Pitt fully throws himself into the role and steals most of the scenes he in. Not that easy, considering that many of the actors - while not well known in America - are really good and Ritchie has given them all colorful (updated and British) Damon Runyon-esque characters to sink their teeth into.

Oddly enough, one character that Mickey doesn't get a scene with is Franky Four Fingers (see, a colorful name) played by this year's Best Supporting Actor Oscar winner Benecio Del Toro, who made his mark by playing a lowlife in ``The Usual Suspects.'' His character, Fenster, also spoke in an unintelligible mumble. (Mumbling - the way to an Oscar. Actually, there are a lot of actors I wish would just keep their mouths shut altogether.)

``Snatch'' isn't going to replace ``Citizen Kane'' (more about that later) in the annals of film history, but it's a lot of fun. And it even has a line that critics can lift when reviewing most of this year's summer movies. As Bullet Tooth Tony (another colorful name), artfully played by former soccer star Vinnie Jones, deadpans, ``You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.''

'CITIZEN' ON DVD: On Sept. 25, Warners is releasing ``Citizen Kane,'' which the American Film Institute named the best film of the first 100 years of cinema, in a two-disc DVD set. Included with the digital remastered version of the 1941 Orson Welles film will be loads of extras - a full-length audio commentary by film critic Roger Ebert and director Peter Bogdanovich, newsreel of the New York movie premiere, a storyboard gallery, rare production photos, the original theatrical trailer and studio correspondence to Welles.

On the second disc will be ``The Battle Over Citizen Kane,'' a two-hour 1996 PBS ``American Experience'' documentary that details the struggle to make the film.

``Citizen Kane'' wasn't much of a success when it was first released. It took years for most of Hollywood to realize what it had. My guess is that most people - despite its critical reputation- still have not seen the film. Considering that a lot of people seem to have a phobia about watching black-and-white films, it's unlikely many - except in film schools - are going out of their way to see it. Hopefully, some will be drawn in by the new DVD set.

BOTH MAGNIFICENT: Recently, John Sturges' classic 1960 classic western ``The Magnificent Seven'' was released on DVD. The film was based on Japanese director Akira Kurosawa's magnificent ``The Seven Samurai,'' considered by many one of the greatest films of all time (even if it is in black and white). Interestingly, Kurosawa acknowledged that American westerns helped inspire the 1954 film.

``The Seven Samurai,'' which stars Toshiro Mifune, is about ronin - warriors who have lost their masters after Japan's feudal system collapsed in the 19th century and have no real means to sustain themselves - who agree to defend a poor village for only the payment of food. ``Magnificent,'' starring Yul Bryner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson and James Coburn, turned the samurai into gunfighters as the West was becoming more civilized and they were becoming obsolete. The setting was moved to a poor Mexican village near the border.

While ``The Seven Samurai'' is the better film, ``The Magnificent Seven'' boasts strong, straight-ahead storytelling and is superior in one way - Elmer Bernstein's unforgettable score. I suggest if you want to watch one, watch both - in chronological order - and compare. It's fun.

``Snatch'' (Columbia) is for rent on VHS and is $27.95 on DVD, which includes commentary by Ritchie, a making-of featurette and deleted scenes. ``The Seven Samurai'' (Citerion) is $39.95 on DVD and includes commentary by Japanese film expert Michael Jeck. ``The Magnificent Seven'' (MGM) is $19.98 on DVD and includes commentary by Eli Wallach, James Coburn and Walter Mirisch.

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Assorted Runyon-esque types people director-writer Guy Ritchie's ``Snatch.''