DADS HAVE HAD IT: NO MORE TIES, SOCKS.
Dads tired of receiving loud ties, pastel socks and too-tight skivvies on Father's Day, take heed - the revolution against lousy gifts is at hand.
Fathers Against Ties, Underwear and Socks will stage a 10:30 a.m. rally today at the Century City Shopping Center to protest ``boring, predictable and otherwise useless'' Father's Day presents, group co-founder Kenny Kahn said.
``Let's face it - this is one of the great issues of our time,'' he said. ``It ranks right up there with global warming and the power crisis. With all the Father's Day shoppers out there buying socks and underwear - it's time to rage against the injustice.''
Kahn, a Santa Monica attorney, stand-up comedian and father, dreamed up F.A.T.U.S. with Irvine attorney and comedian Gerald Wolfe. The two friends believe that dads have suffered in silence for too long on Father's Day, feigning thanks for another navy blue tie, while their wives live it up on Mother's Day with health spa visits and trips to Las Vegas.
So, with Father's Day just five days away, F.A.T.U.S. hopes to bring about nothing less than a gift-giving sea change in what dads everywhere receive this year.
The group suggests that buying dad a gadget - any gadget - will make him happier than a pair of silk boxers ever could. F.A.T.U.S. has hooked up with Long Beach-based Interactive Health to promote the company's WarmAir muscle massager as the perfect kind of gadget gift that won't be left to die in a bottomless dresser drawer.
``We're really hoping to turn the world around,'' said Kahn, who in his day job has represented Larry Flynt, and who regularly performs at Los Angeles comedy clubs. ``We believe that there are going to be two eras to mark time - before the F.A.T.U.S. rally, and after. This will be the year of our savior, the year that fathers everywhere will be saved from bad gifts.''
The F.A.T.U.S. protest, no matter how tongue-in-cheek, comes as welcome news to Chatsworth resident Joey Bien, 35, whose 7-year-old daughter gives him a tie every Father's Day.
``You just have to smile when you get it and say, 'Oh, it's beautiful,' '' said Bien, who works at the custom framing shop Striving Artists. ``I'll put it on like I'm going to wear it to work, but then I'll change it once I'm in the car.''
Bien laughed at the prospect of a rally against lame Father's Day gifts. ``It's time to raise people's awareness,'' he said. ``It's overdue.''
Al Simon, 79, dropped by The Promenade at Woodland Hills on Monday to - what else? - exchange a shirt that his wife gave him as an early Father's Day present. Simon, grateful to receive baseball and theater tickets from his two adult daughters in advance of Father's Day, said he sympathizes with dads who only get ties and socks.
``You already have all that,'' he said. ``You don't want to overstock on that stuff at my age.''
But despite the best efforts of F.A.T.U.S., the ties-and-socks tradition will continue for at least one family.
Michelle Metzger, 29, said she buys her father a colorful tie every Father's Day, trying to outdo herself each time. The veterinary technician said she also might give him a pair of socks this year.
``You have to get (men) socks,'' she said. ``They always need socks.''