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Curriculum crassifieds: Dyrli takes a lighthearted look at products and services that never made it to prime time.


Sane Sex Education

At last, an elementary school sex education program kids can relate to! Information sent in plain wrapper to certified administrators only. Center for Early Yearning

THINK METRIC!

Laminated wall chart, approximately 14 by 22 inches in full color. International Metrication met·ri·ca·tion  
n.
Conversion to the metric system of weights and measures; metrification.

Noun 1. metrication - the act of changing from imperial units of measurement to metric units: meters, grams, seconds
 Distributing Company (formerly Novelty Discount Stores)

Career Education Series

New software lets students explore less obvious career opportunities: shepherd, anarchist, serf serf, under feudalism, peasant laborer who can be generally characterized as hereditarily attached to the manor in a state of semibondage, performing the servile duties of the lord (see also manorial system). , information booth attendant, reconstructionist, finder's keeper, mother's helper. Goodcents School Ventures

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Update Your Curriculum with ICL/RDA

(Innovative Curriculum Labels for what you were Regularly Doing Anyway) Package includes stick-on labels for curriculum guides, and role buttons to identify TPs (teacher pals), ABs (administrator buddies) and KCs (kiddos in classrooms). Beat-em-Out Associates

GET FUNDED

We will go through all your district proposals and insert current buzzwords Below is a list of common buzzwords which form part of the business jargon of Corporate work environments. General Conversation
  • Alignment []
  • At the end of the day [0]
  • Break through the clutter[1]
 guaranteed to impress funding agencies. Pay in advance only. Addafad Educational Consultants

Reading Program Evaluation

Armed, uniformed sales representatives will come to your school and compare your present program with the externally motivated Phonicblitz Suresystem. Your students will want to read! Knowkidding Publishing Company

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Activities Sourcebook

New collection of activities found in other collections of activities, arranged for the first time in new categories. Wunmore-Tyme Resources

CREATIVE RECYCLING

Imaginative school uses for farm and industrial waste. Hands-on total child activities using sludge, chaff chaff

1. chaffed hay; called also chop.

2. the winnowings from a threshing, consisting of awns, husks, glumes and other relatively indigestible materials.
, soot, grime and ashes. Klassroom Salvage Company

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Resistance to Teaching Science?

New integrated approach shows how you can designate present math, reading or social studies programs as "and science." No more need to postpone this subject until the last week of school. Undetectable! Status Quo [Latin, The existing state of things at any given date.] Status quo ante bellum means the state of things before the war. The status quo to be preserved by a preliminary injunction is the last actual, peaceable, uncontested status which preceded the pending controversy.  Education Outfitters

TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK?

Free Web resources for 9- to 15-year-olds answer questions about the federal government with candor. Rite-to-Know Associates

Chopped Liver as an Integrating Theme

Class investigations from poetic inspiration and use in warfare, to musical qualities and properties of insulation. Write for a sample (designate with or without mayonnaise). Principals Cooperative Deli

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Bingo Services

Circle code numerals at random on our postage-paid cards, and bring a steady stream of sales representatives to your school. End loneliness. GotchaNow Referrals

INTERDISCIPLINARY READING AND KARATE

Even the most timid learners in your district will learn to grasp concepts and attack words. Includes muscle tone phonics exercises for each grade level. Ding and Jane LLC (Logical Link Control) See "LANs" under data link protocol.

LLC - Logical Link Control
.

Educators Appreciate Honesty.

As soon as we get 10,000 orders for our revolutionary humanistic curriculum guide, we can start writing it. Delivery in September assured (year to be announced To be announced (TBA)

A contract for the purchase or sale of an MBS to be delivered at an agreed-upon future date but does not include a specified pool number and number of pools or precise amount to be delivered.
). Send $30 per book to Of-the-People Products

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We Don't Disguise Our Appeal

Get class quantities of bookmarks and posters containing product names only. Absolutely no confusing educational messages! Write for giant catalog. Kidhook Commercial Services.

Nonsexist non·sex·ist  
adj.
1. Not discriminating on the basis of gender: nonsexist hiring policies.

2.
 Teaching Materials

Chalk, rulers, paperclips and twine twine: see cordage. . Price list on request (send last name only). Ele***tary Teac*** Supply

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MATH-LAV[TM] ACTIVITIES

Do more males or females leave the room? Does the time of day matter? What about odd days compared to even days? Students can answer such practical questions with the histograms and line graphs they learn to construct in Math-Lay. Counter Productive Programs

FutureSchlock

New text identifies emerging curriculum trends that will be discarded tomorrow. Don't get on a bandwagon to nowhere! Vera's Print Shop and Tea Room

Biracial bi·ra·cial  
adj.
1. Of, for, or consisting of members of two races.

2. Having parents of two different races.



bi·ra
 Music

Students learn to play "Old Black Joe" and other Foster favorites on the honky-tonk piano using black and white keys. Write for colorless catalog. The Diversiblend Group

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TA IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS

The reissued best-seller describing the when and if of Territorial Assessment: "I'm Still OK, But You Were Never Much to Brag About." Jiffytrend Book People

Inquiro-Mini-Discovero-Learna-Paks

Updated versions of the successful Bee-Zee-Work handout collections. Timefill, Inc.

MANAGE CREATIVITY

Precut pre·cut  
adj.
Cut into size or shape before being marketed, assembled, or used: precut fillet of fish; precut construction materials.

tr.v.
 materials and easy-to-read step-by-step directions make art expression manageable in K12 schools. Specify blue comb case, red coin purse or yellow bookmark A stored location for quick retrieval at a later date. Web browsers provide bookmarks that contain the addresses (URLs) of favorite sites. Most electronic references, large text databases and help systems provide bookmarks that mark a location users want to revisit in the future. . Sold in lots of 30 (sorry, no mixed lots). Arty School Imports

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SIMULATED EUROPEAN TOURS

Mail a snapshot to us and we'll position you in 200 pictures of European landmarks. Kit includes baggage labels, menus and towels from Copenhagen, Paris, Rome, Monte Carlo, St. Moritz and Vienna. Impresso Travel Groups

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Self-Paced Handwriting Curriculum

CD-ROM-based program with 26 behavioral objectives teaches cursive letters. Shipped in attractive leatherette leath·er·ette  
n.
Imitation leather.



[Originally a trademark.]

Noun 1. leatherette - fabric made to look like leather
imitation leather
 display case with optional storage area for pens and paper. Space-Quill

NEW ADMINISTRATOR?

Learn to speak "Curric" in the privacy of your home. Imagine the looks of colleagues when you casually interject in·ter·ject  
tr.v. in·ter·ject·ed, in·ter·ject·ing, in·ter·jects
To insert between other elements; interpose. See Synonyms at introduce.
 such ideas as "In my opinion the affective behavioral assessments of modified naturalistic instructional sequences confirm assimilation of sensori-perceptive modes into functioning structures of precognitive pre·cog·ni·tion  
n.
Knowledge of something in advance of its occurrence, especially by extrasensory perception; clairvoyance.



pre·cog
 schemata!" Videotape with earphones and handy Book of Random Words. Bullitz Language Schools.

Odvard Egil Dyrli, gdyrli@edmediagroup.com, is editor-in-chief of DISTRICT ADMINISTRATION and emeritus professor of education at the University of Connecticut The University of Connecticut is the State of Connecticut's land-grant university. It was founded in 1881 and serves more than 27,000 students on its six campuses, including more than 9,000 graduate students in multiple programs.

UConn's main campus is in Storrs, Connecticut.
.
COPYRIGHT 2007 Professional Media Group LLC
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 2007, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

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Title Annotation:SATIRE
Author:Dyrli, Odvard Egil
Publication:District Administration
Date:Mar 1, 2007
Words:799
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