Cultural Etiquette.

Hala Khalaf A college friend of mine, from the plains of Southern Ontario, will soon be arriving to spend the next six months of her life exploring the life of a journalist in Jordan. Her excitement knows no bounds, and she has spent weeks, prior to her arrival, researching the area, and trying to educate herself as much as possible on what to expect. Her research has included compiling a list of local customs and etiquette she wants to keep in mind, so as not to go around Jordan and the Middle East offending any of the locals. I hold myself back as I hear the gushing of her enthusiasm, and hope against hope that she does not become offended instead, by any of our local eccentricities.Nevertheless, her list, so far, leaves me irrevocably amused. For example, she admonishes visitors to the Middle East not to use their left hand to shake hands, pass food, wave, and so on. According to her sources, she stipulates that it is considered unclean and is associated with bathroom duties. And a second example from her list is to caution against using the 'thumbs up' sign, as it could be interpreted to be equal in meaning to the middle finger gesture.I have never come across either of the two tips she mentions above. Don't we all automatically shake hands with our right hands anyway, regardless of where we are from in the world, unless we're left handed? And is there a correct and incorrect way to conduct one's bathroom duties? What would make us favor our right hand over our left, and who would set such high store on such a thing? Why is it, that we as Arabs, are branded with such strange and eccentrics qualities? To further solidify our mysterious, oriental image? Or to underline our 'savage' image instead?I can't see how the thumbs up sign would be interpreted as the middle finger gesture, not unless it is an ignoramus with unresolved issues and an attitude problem doing the interpreting. Either that or I'm just not aware of this fact, which would mean people have been going around sending out the middle finger in disguise, left, right and centre.Still, I do find the other point on her list to be quite interesting:Do not sit so that the soles of your feet point at anyone. This is also considered an insult. Again, common sense speculates that this would be considered insulting in any culture, time or place. Who wants the soles of someone's foot or shoe pointing them in the face?Never accept a present or service without first politely refusing twice. This is our Arab way, of placing too much weight on pleasantries. If someone gives you a compliment on something you own, like your watch or dress or bag or car even, you say (em'adameh) which is taken to mean, 'It's yours, I'd like to present it to you.' Regardless of whether or not you mean it, you offer to give up whatever it was that was complimented, because of these superficial pleasantries. Remove your shoes when visiting a mosque or a private house. This is certainly an important point with regards to a mosque, but each home and each home's owner have different preferences. I remember being forced to take off my shoes constantly in Canada, unless I wanted to trek snow, rain and mud through the entire house or apartment. Never walk in front of or interrupt in any way, someone praying toward Mecca. Yes, this is an important point, but then again, what are the chances of ending up in such a situation, unless the foreigner is planning on frequenting a mosque?Don't be offended if someone asks you a lot of personal questions. Your business becomes their business! This is much truer than we are prepared to admit, and carries both advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes, one feels one can't sneeze without having the entire neighbourhood register the fact. Personal space and boundary lines are, more often than not, ignored in our culture. And yet, we are a close-knit society, of extended families and close neighbours, all of whom are very involved in one another's daily lives. Also on her list, my friend has noted down the need to ask permission before taking someone's photograph, as well as to always eat inside of as discreetly as possible during the month of Ramadan, out of respect for those fasting. Again, wouldn't this be a simple case of showing consideration and respect? Most of the do's and don'ts on her list are a simple matter of rational, commonsensical and polite behaviour, rather than rules etched in rock, to help an outsider acclimatize to life in the Middle East. And yet, it's so eye-opening, seeing our country and our culture and our customs through the eyes of a 'foreigner' or a 'Westerner' or just someone who has never been to the Arab world before. They notice things we simply take for granted, such as the fact that all of our mosques' minarets glow green in the evening, or that the seemingly poor newsboys stationed at traffic lights across the city all carry the latest Nokia cell [e-mail] Cultural Etiquette

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