Crown Jules hidden away; food eating out CHEZ JULES, Ethel Street, Birmingham.

Byline: LORNE JACKSON

APPEARANCES can be deceptive.

Ugly ducklings turn into swans.

Swans become elegant psychopaths when you get too close to their bonebreaking wings.

Elegant psychopaths are just Welsh actors called Anthony Hopkins - no more dangerous than a duckling.

December's a time when appearances are at their slipperiest, what with all those trees turning into towers of tinsel, and dull daddies unexpectedly blossoming into fat men with fuzzy white beards and applered jumpsuits.

What we discover underneath the Christmas tree can also be sneaky and unexpected.

The huge, wondrously decorated box turns out to be mostly bubble-wrap and polystyrene, with just a little hunk of junk from the pound shop.

Yet that tiny, overlooked prezzy is a box loaded with bling.

Perhaps an expensive ring from the love of your life, which can then be hocked for a great deal of dosh once the love of your life runs off with the love of his life.

Restaurants can also be deceptive.

I've baulked at entering many a dodgylooking joint, only to discover, on taking my table, great service and terrific food.

The opposite's also true. Too many fancy gaffs turn out to be all flash, no food.

From the outside, Chez Jules has as much flash as a damp match. You're confronted by a dingy-looking doorway leading to shadowy stairs.

No wonder Riki wasn't impressed when I suggested lunch there.

She didn't just baulk - but threatened to walk.

But I'd been to CJ's before, had a glimpse beneath the duckling's dingy feathers, and managed to persuade Riki to brave the threshold.

She was glad that she did, because once inside, it positively cockadoodled its class.

Though it's not the type of restaurant that looks like money has been chucked at it. It's just that the people in charge have impeccable taste.

In a fairly large space, there are wooden floors, benches, checkered tables, candles and subdued lighting.

The whole effect is cosy and bohemian.

It's also a pleasure to watch the waiters and waitresses marching from table-totable.

Fast, efficient, deadly serious.

Beside our table was a bread board. Moments later - before we'd even had a chance to glance at our menus - a basket filled with bread and butter was deposited next to our plates.

Another pleasant surprise was the lunch menu. Two courses for pounds 8.95 - very reasonable.

There was also a selection of baguettes for just under six pounds.

It wasn't an extensive choice.

Though the menu does change regularly, on the day we were in CJ's, only four options were available for each course.

But I actually find that preferable to one of those flabby food lists you often get that are as sweeping, ambitious and impossible to read as War And Peace At least with a brief menu the diner doesn't get himself in a panic of choice.

More importantly, the chef can concentrate on tuning his dishes to perfection.

Which definitely happened on this occasion.

My grilled haddock arrived in a garlic and caper butter sauce that was rich without being stodgy. With a hint of lemon, the flavours were subtle yet solid.

My one complaint was my side order of chips. Although the portion was generous, they were dry.

Not something you could say about Riki's main course of chicken chasseur - chicken cooked in a tomato and mushroom sauce.

The chicken was as tender as the heart of a small child who has just endured back-to-back screenings of Bambi and The Selfish Giant; while the sauce was so well-balanced it could have joined the circus as a tightrope walker.

For dessert, I had a chocolate mousse which wasn't too damp, and had as many bubbles as the bath of an Egyptian queen.

Riki's cheese selection was suitably sharp and pungent.

Chez Jules really is one of my favourite restaurants in Birmingham, with a great atmosphere and food to match.

Not a duck, then, but a glorious swan.

And, more importantly, the kind of swan that won't break your bones - or your bank balance.

TOTAL (including drinks and tip): pounds 30. Chez Jules, 5a Ethel Street, Birmingham (0121 633 4664)