Credit crunch has hit wedding plans; Just Joan SEE JOAN'S NEW VIDEO PROBLEMS AT WWW.dailyrecord.co.uk.

Byline: Joan burnie

JOAN'S SOLUTION

Q MY fianc and I are among those also hit by the credit crunch. So now we've got to choose between our wedding and buying our own home.

We have been saving madly for almost five years.We thought we finally had enough for the deposit as well as a wedding. But although house prices have fallen, everyone we've gone to for a loan now wants a much bigger deposit.

The result is if we go ahead and buy a house we can no longer afford the wedding and goodness knows how long it will take us to get the money. But we've already put the wedding off twice and I sometimes think it's never going to happen.

Both of us are keen to start a family but we always agreed we wouldn't do it until we were married and in our own home. I'm 34 so I can't wait for ever. My mum says why not rent and have the wedding but my fianc says buying is better. So we're torn.

Also, we've put down a deposit on a venue and we'll lose that if we pull out.

A I SUPPOSE I should really consult those who run our money pages on at least part of your problem.

They could give you a far better idea than I can on whether renting or buying a home is the better option.

All I'll say is I think it's a shame that somehow, post Thatcher, we think that anyone who doesn't own their home or who hasn't taken on a mortgage is in some way a lesser being than those who do.

It doesn't happen in other countries with the result that, although they too are suffering badly in the current global downturn, they largely escaped both our horrendous house price inflation and our huge level of personal debt.

Too many people, before prices began to fall, saw their houses not so much as homes but as personal piggy banks which could fund a lifestyle they couldn't really afford. That bubble has now, thankfully, burst.

Anyway, lecture over. But I've read and re-read your email and can't really understand why you can't buy the house AND get married, too.

Obviously, something has to give if you are to afford both and that something has to be the kind of wedding I suspect you were planning - one with all the whistles and bells, costing thousands of pounds.

I think the amount people spend on their big fat weddings has got seriously out of hand. It's the marriage that matters, not the wedding day. Maybe it's time more people scaled things down.

But then considerable numbers of couples are doing exactly that. In fact, it's become such a trend that there are even sites telling you how to cut costs to a minimum and still have a terrific do.

Try www.cheap-wedding-success.co.uk to find out what can be achieved on a limited budget. It's surprising how much you can beg and borrow if not steal.

But first off you need to sit down and work out a strict budget. It looks as if you'll have to say bye bye to the original venue, but it depends on what the deposit was for.

If it was for the entire package, then maybe it's better to cut your losses and lose the money. Do the maths.

I'd also dump any expensive honeymoon plans. I know a couple who spent theirs very happily in a tent on Arran and another who didn't go away at all but painted their new home. The one essential is that you don't forget why you and your fianc decided you wanted to marry. It wasn't just to have a bit of a do and to show off to your friends, was it? It also has to be about more than the three-tiered cake, the expensive frock, the champagne, the flowers and favours.

Nor is it really about whether you begin your marriage in bought or rented accommodation. It's about two people who love each other and want to make an official, binding, legal commitment to each other. That's all that really counts. The rest is just fluff.

Finally, if it's any comfort, I also have a theory that the more spent on the day the shorter the actual marriage lasts.

So time to cut your cloth - or rather your wedding dress - to suit your purse.