Counselling your colleagues.

Introduction

Within the context of their work roles, managers may sometimes be required to help their colleagues through using counselling skills.

To become a professional counsellor can take several years' of training and supervised practical experience. While few managers have this level of qualification, many of the skills employed by counsellors can be put to use in a work situation.

National Occupational Standards for Management and Leadership

This checklist has relevance to the following standards:

D: Working with people, unit 1

Definition

A set of skills used by one person to help another clarify concerns, come to terms with feelings, take responsibility for difficulties, and begin to resolve problems or issues. Counselling does not involve giving advice, or providing or managing solutions to the problems experienced by their client or colleague.

Counselling techniques are related to the mentoring process, where mentors may sometimes need to take a counselling approach.

Action checklist

1. Check your organisation's personnel policies to ensure that by offering counselling you conform to these

Some organisations have formal arrangements for counselling and it is important not to disregard these. For example, your organisation may offer counselling as part of an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), offered as an employee benefit.

2. Ensure that you have a suitable room in which counselling can take place

It is essential to choose somewhere quiet, free from interruption and appropriate to the nature of the problem. Ensure you will not be disturbed by using an 'Engaged' sign on the door, and divert your telephone to avoid interruptions. To help put your colleague at ease:

* try to avoid a formal office setting with a desk between you and your colleague

* position a clock somewhere appropriate (i.e. not behind your seat), so that you can keep an eye on the time without making this obvious.

3. Ensure there is sufficient time for the meeting

If you know you must end your meeting at a particular time, inform your colleague of this at the outset. To avoid too little time being available for the session it is often more sensible to book a meeting (perhaps a day in advance). Even if there is no need for a time limit, it is often useful to set one of about an hour to prevent the discussion merely going over the same ground again and again.

4. Address your feelings towards your colleague

Before the meeting, it is essential to confront your personal feelings towards your colleague and put them to one side. Whether or not you like your colleague is irrelevant.

5. Open the meeting by explaining the framework

At the beginning of the counselling session it is essential to lay down some ground-rules. These may include:

* what the expectations of the discussion should be--i.e. you will not be able to provide advice or guidance or solve any problems for your colleague. Clarify what the realistic expectations of your counselling session should be

* time limitations--state again what these are, and whether you will offer one or more follow-up sessions if needed

* note taking--stress any notes taken are for your own use and will not be revealed to a third party

* confidentiality--assure your colleague that everything discussed will remain completely confidential, unless there is any risk of their causing damage to themselves or others. This will help to prevent the colleague from being reticent through fear of being regarded as something of a risk in the future. Explain that the only exception to this will be if you both agree that something needs to be discussed with another party.

6. Begin to explore the issues with your colleague

There can be no set-in-stone format for counselling as each session is dependent on the needs of the individual. However, the following skills are all essential to enable issues to be fully explored:

Actively listen--What does your colleague feel? What is their point of view? What is happening to them, in their view? What do they do (or not do)? It is essential to understand that the view of the facts or situation that your colleague has will be more important to them than the facts themselves, and that their behaviour may not reflect their true feelings. By rephrasing and reflecting back the concerns expressed by your colleague you demonstrate that you have listened to what is being said and at the same time can seek clarification of the issues involved. Summarising what has been said occasionally throughout the conversation helps both parties remain focused.

Empathise--Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Empathy means you recognise and understand the issues by which your colleague feels confronted without having to take their side or agree totally with what they are saying. Empathy can help to encourage your colleague to be more honest and exact when describing the issues.

Question--There are many reasons for questions, and many types of question. In a counselling situation questions may enable you to clarify your understanding of the issues, will help to focus on areas you think may be important and can demonstrate your interest in the other person. Open, closed and delving types of questions are all of value in a counselling situation. Open questions can help your colleague begin to talk about an issue, and can provide you with information on how they feel. Closed questions help you to establish precise facts but tend to lead to very short answers. Delving questions enable you to probe an issue more fully and can help to draw out the whole picture.

Challenge--By gently challenging statements made where necessary, you can help your colleague to consider their situation more closely. It is useful to challenge if it appears that they are dragging the discussion round in circles, if they have an unrealistic self-image (either too positive or more usually too negative) or if they appear to contradict themselves. You should take care with your use of this technique, however, and ensure that trust is well-established within the counselling relationship before challenging or confronting any issues or discrepancies.

Challenging statements may be based on phrases such as: "You say that you are struggling with your current project, yet I see you as meeting all its objectives and time-scales. Why do you think there is a difference in our views?" A good rule of thumb is to always be gentle and supportive in using your 'challenge' skills.

7. Recognise situations which are beyond your help

In certain circumstances it may be necessary to refer your colleague on to other organisations or counsellors who may be better equipped to help. Be aware of sources of information which may provide contact details (e.g. local telephone book or local reference library, or see Organisations at the end of this checklist). The personnel department may have some details, but be sure not to break confidence with your colleague, if you speak to them.

8. Help your colleague in the area of problem-solving by setting objectives for action

Counselling does not mean that the counsellor provides solutions to the issues raised by the colleague. It does, however, involve the counsellor in the process of problem-solving. From the discussion, the problem area will have been identified, together with possible causes. It is now necessary for the individual to set specific objectives to enable them to tackle the problem and assign timescales and a means of monitoring their progress.

9. Close the session in an appropriate manner

Warn your colleague approximately ten minutes before the session is nearing a close. Ask if there is anything else they want to mention before the session ends. Then summarise what has been discussed and what actions have been agreed upon, and where appropriate arrange a follow up session.

How not to manage counselling your colleagues

Don't:

* let personal feelings intrude on the discussion

* take on the responsibility for solving problems

* be judgemental in what you say

* be afraid to refer a colleague to a professional if you feel it necessary.

Additional resources

Books

Handling death and bereavement at work, David Charles-Edwards

London: Routledge, 2005

Counselling skills in social work practice, Janet Seden

Maidenhead: Open University Press, 2005

Counselling in the workplace, Adrian Coles

Maidenhead: Open University Press, 2003

Counselling at work, Lynn Macwhinnie ed

Rugby: Association for Counselling at Work, 1998

Handbook of counselling in organizations, Michael Carroll and Michael Walton

London: Sage, 1997

This is a selection of books available for loan to members from the Management Information Centre. More information at: www.managers.org.uk/mic

Organisations

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

BACP House, 35-37 Albert Street, Rugby, Warwickshire, CV21 5SG

Tel: [phone] www.bacp.co.uk

UK Council for Psychotherapy

2nd Floor Edward House, 2 Wakley Street, London, EC1V 7LT

Tel: [phone] www.ukcp.org.uk

UK Employee Assistance Professionals Association

3 Moors Close, Ducklington, Witney, Oxon. OX29 7TW

Tel: [phone] www.eapa.org.uk

Relate National Marriage Guidance

Herbert Grey College, Little Church Street, Rugby, Warwickshire, CV21 3AP

Tel: [phone] www.relate.org.uk