Convert outrage into action to reduce domestic violence.

Byline: GUEST VIEWPOINT By Kamala Shugar For The Register-Guard

Three domestic homicides in Lane County in the first 54 days of 2004. Three women dead. The community is rightly outraged. But to whom do we turn our outrage?

Ten years ago, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention awarded Lane County a $3.1 million grant to combat domestic violence. They defined domestic violence as a national epidemic. In six years, we implemented lasting changes in our justice and social service systems to support victims and to hold batterers accountable.

So how is it that we find ourselves with not one, but three, deadly examples of why systemic changes are not enough? Yes, the overcrowded jail failed Paula Benitez, for whom I grieve deeply. But what about the other two victims?

As a community, we must take responsibility. Every 12 seconds, a woman is battered in our country, and our society fails to respond.

Domestic violence is, except when a murder or brutal assault occurs, almost always a misdemeanor. Victims are expected to testify, right in front of their batterer.

During jury selection, I often ask a group of 24 citizens, "How many of you have had your life, or the life of someone you know, touched by domestic violence?" Often, more than half of the people raise their hands. Then more answers come forward - a friend from childhood, a co-worker, a neighbor, a member of your church.

Think back even further. What about your parents? Your best friend's parents? Your adolescent daughter or her friends?

Can you truly say that no one you know has ever been touched by domestic violence? Do you know for sure?

Not all domestic violence shows up as "black eyes and blue tears." A lot of it is invisible. Insults, control, threats, "accidents," forced sex, coercion - and stalking.

That's what Tomas Ortega-Benitez did. He stalked Paula until she was numb to the danger. He was incessant. His threats to kill her were constant and specific. But there are never any witnesses to this private form of daily terrorism.

Why do we demand independent witnesses? Isn't it enough that a victim will stand up in court and confront the man she loves and fears and tell total strangers what he did to her? All the while, she knows that if he is acquitted there will be certain and severe consequences for her testimony.

Or maybe she can't even do that. "Isn't it enough," many victims ask me as they shake with fear, "that I called the police and reported it? Can't you do this without me?"

Or they simply come into court and stand in support of the abuser and silently pray the state will prove the case with their initial call for help, despite their desperate attempts to explain away the injuries on the stand. "I ran into a doorknob, that's how I got the black eye." Sometimes, she just repeats what he tells her to say: "It's my fault he did this. I was attacking him."

How can we expect a victim to testify in front of her abuser when he is not being held in jail? It is humbling when a victim is brave enough to come to court, knowing he is out there with a gun waiting to kill her and himself. It is amazing when you count the number of times Paula Benitez came to court to try to stop the stalking.

Paula should be remembered for one quality above all others - bravery. She was strong and brave. Most women in her situation fall back into the violence and the pattern of apologies and abuse before they find the strength to get help. And most know that when and if they ever really leave, they will be in the gravest danger.

So to whom do we turn our outrage? That is the question after every senseless murder. This time, turn your outrage inward. Change your expectations. Learn about the dynamics of power and control in domestic violence relationships.

Expect victims to go back to their abusers, because statistics say it takes an average of between four and nine times for a woman to leave her batterer. Learn what to say to a victim of domestic violence who is afraid to leave. Learn how to support a victim who is leaving. Volunteer to work with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Volunteer to help victims get restraining orders and keep them.

Then turn your outrage one more place: into real change. Tell your elected officials you expect more. Tell them you want more jail beds, so violent offenders will be held pending trial. Tell them you want them to prioritize domestic violence cases, even misdemeanors, above drug and property crimes. Tell them that when a thief or drug addict is let out of jail due to overcrowding and they re-offend, more things are stolen or more drugs are used, but rarely does anyone die.

Then remind them that every domestic violence case is a potential murder. And in your opinion, murders of this sort can and should be prevented.

Kamala Shugar is an assistant district attorney for Lane County. She serves on the Steering Committee of the Lane County Domestic Violence Council and is a statewide and national speaker on domestic violence prosecution and prevention. For more information, contact the Lane County Victim Services Program, 682-4523; Womenspace, 485-8232; or the toll-free crisis line [phone]).