Contemplating conformation.

Our eldest daughter Christine likes to prepare for things well in advance and she attends to every possible detail (in this she takes after her dad). Take Christine's preparation for Confirmation, for example. She received the sacrament only last month, yet she began her preparations several years ago. Inspired by an older cousin who was being confirmed at the time, Christine began to ponder which Confirmation name she would like to adopt. She earnestly began to study the lives of the saints, and even presented me with a short list of possible patrons. I approved of her choices, but was somewhat amused to see the heading atop her list, which read "Conformation Names." (Spelling has never been her forte--she gets that from her dad too.)

It occurred to me later that her little error had some truth to it, considering what Confirmation means for all too many teens and their families. When I served on the Confirmation preparation team in one former parish, a frustrated fellow catechist told me that only ten percent of the children came from families who attended mass regularly. It was the ongoing lament of our priest that Confirmation was actually "Graduation," since even some of the church-going confirmands stopped coming to Mass after the big day.

Even more lamentable is that I've known parents who spoke of being "done" with their children's religious education at Confirmation time. They were relieved when they no longer had to attend parent meetings and do catechism with their kids at home. Some of these parents also stopped coming to church regularly once their children had 'completed' all the sacraments of initiation.

In such cases, people seem to be celebrating "Conformation," not to the mind and will of the Holy Spirit, but rather to the spiritus mundi. Instead of enlisting in Christ's army, many of these kids have conformed to the worldly attitude that faith in God hardly matters. For many, Confirmation is not a call to greater spiritual maturity and responsibility, but simply an excuse for a party: time to buy a new dress, get a few gifts, go out for dinner to a restaurant.

What's the solution? If I had one, every parish priest in North America would beat a path to my door. Some say one obvious answer is to raise the age of Confirmation. Surely a child of twelve or thirteen is far too young to make a serious "adult" commitment to Christ and His Church. There are others (myself included) who think adolescents are old enough to begin making certain decisions. They know what they like, and who their heroes are. They know what a commitment is, whether it's to a sports team, a drama club, or a close friendship. Many young people are involved in various parish and community activities, and some even know what career and vocational paths they will follow. Not only are they old enough to choose to follow Christ, but they need to make this choice. At this sometimes awkward and painful transitional phase in their lives, they are greatly in need of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the abundant graces available through the sacrament of Confirmation.

If we're going to raise the age of Confirmation, then we should probably raise the age of Matrimony and Holy Orders as well--to 85 or so. Most people younger than that don't fully appreciate what a lifetime of serving Christ will entail, nor do we have the spiritual maturity to live each day sacramentally. Age isn't the problem, conformation is. We tend to live too much in this world, yet forget to avail ourselves of the graces needed to cope and conquer in it.

Whether we're 7, 13, 40, or 65, we need to follow St. Paul's advice in Romans 12:2: "Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind...." Everyone needs renewal, regardless of vocation or the level of spiritual maturity and/or commitment to the Church. We need sounder catechesis, more effective preaching, better parenting, more zealous evangelization, deeper personal commitment to Jesus Christ. The Advocate is waiting to help us.

Pentecost comes but once a year; Confirmation, only once in a lifetime; but each and every day, we can call upon the Holy Spirit and receive His gifts and graces. Veni Creator Spiritus!

Mariette Ulrich is a mother of six girls and writes from Scott, SK. Her column appears every other month.