Communicating with our elderly.Simple gestures and a moment's time are all that is required COMMUNICATION MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN OUR EVERYDAY Life--without it we would die. Elderly residents of long term care facilities and other health care institutions rely on staff and volunteers for their requirements of daily living. All too often, staff members are responsible for a large patient load and have little or no time to interact with an elderly resident. In handling the residents' daily duties, my experience with visiting thousands of frail elderly frail elderly, n.pl older persons (usually over the age of 75 years) who are afflicted with physical or mental disabilities that may interfere with the ability to independently perform activities of daily living. across the country is that staff members rarely address the simple conversations that, for the resident, are the basis for their self-esteem self-esteem Sense of personal worth and ability that is fundamental to an individual's identity. Family relationships during childhood are believed to play a crucial role in its development. , self-worth self-worth n. Self-esteem; self-respect. Noun 1. self-worth - the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect; "it was beneath his dignity to cheat"; "showed his true dignity when under pressure" , and their will to live. Consider this: there is always something extra that can be done by a caregiver care·giv·er n. 1. An individual, such as a physician, nurse, or social worker, who assists in the identification, prevention, or treatment of an illness or disability. 2. to touch the lives of the elderly residents for whom you care. There are ways of interacting with the residents such that the quality of your job is improved. The simplest things mean the most to the elderly and they will honor As a verb, to accept a bill of exchange, or to pay a note, check, or accepted bill, at maturity. To pay or to accept and pay, or, where a credit so engages, to purchase or discount a draft complying with the terms of the draft. you for taking your precious time to be with them. Through simple communication techniques, there is the basis for improving the daily quality of life for the elderly one serves. A warm hug or gentle touch with caring words can make a huge difference in the life of an elderly person. The elderly will touch your life in a way that no one else can. One such gift that they share is in the following example: The door was partially open as I knocked on this particular resident's door. The name on her door read, "Winifred Winifred may refer to: Places
n. A chair mounted on large wheels for the use of a sick or disabled person. wheelchair, n gazing out of the window. I decided that since there was no answer, I would knock again. This time I asked, "Would you like to have a visitor today?" Still there was no answer. I thought to myself "Maybe she cannot hear me." As I walked into her room, she saw me and reached out to me. I took her cold hands and placed them both in the warmth of mine. I introduced myself in the hope of receiving her response. As I continued trying to communicate, I spoke into each of her ears. But there was no response. She did not speak so I kneeled at her side, and held her hands. Finally I decided it was time for me to go. As I stood up beside her to leave I said, "My dear friend, I have to go for now. I will be back to see you again one day soon." Candace Candace (kăn`dəsē, kăndā`sē), title for queens in ancient Ethiopia. One of them made war (c.22 B.C.) on the Roman governor of Egypt, who defeated her and destroyed Napata, her capital. Pittenger is the Founder and executive director of GenAmerica, a national 501c3 nonprofit organization Nonprofit Organization An association that is given tax-free status. Donations to a non-profit organization are often tax deductible as well. Notes: Examples of non-profit organizations are charities, hospitals and schools. , based in San Diego San Diego (săn dēā`gō), city (1990 pop. 1,110,549), seat of San Diego co., S Calif., on San Diego Bay; inc. 1850. San Diego includes the unincorporated communities of La Jolla and Spring Valley. Coronado is across the bay. , the mission of which is to improve the quality of life for the elderly. She can be reached at 760-730-7470 and at elderly@aol.com. While I leaned over, and gently hugged her, she held onto me for a brief moment. I walked toward the door, and all of a sudden there was a wailing yell from inside the room: "Wait! Come back! Don't go!" I was completely astonished a·ston·ish tr.v. as·ton·ished, as·ton·ish·ing, as·ton·ish·es To fill with sudden wonder or amazement. See Synonyms at surprise. ! I turned around to face Winifred and she sweetly looked up at me. I knew that the wail had come from within her. There was no one else in this room except she and I. As I walked over to her this time, I expected her to speak aloud. She looked at me, reached out her hand, and still did not speak. An angel had spoken to me in that moment. It was her way to let me know that Winifred was deeply touched by me and by my love. Later, I was told that Winifred had no family or friends to spend time with her. She needed my nurturing and caring. Her angelic exclamation was my miracle that day. For Winifred, it was the only way she could communicate her need to he loved by me. Excerpt ex·cerpt n. A passage or segment taken from a longer work, such as a literary or musical composition, a document, or a film. tr.v. ex·cerpt·ed, ex·cerpt·ing, ex·cerpts 1. from Ribbons of Wisdom: How to communicate with our elderly, by Candace Pittenger [Candace Pittenger Limited, Carlsbad, Calif.; ISBN ISBN abbr. International Standard Book Number ISBN International Standard Book Number ISBN n abbr (= International Standard Book Number) → ISBN m : 0966208900]. Winifred is one of the millions of frail elderly Americans who has no one to spend quality time with her. Through hundreds of nursing homes, I have witnessed thousands of lonely, depressed elderly with no visitors. Most have given up on life. Why? Because what is missing is regular, loving people to let them know they are still important and loved. We as a society have put our elders away in homes and institutions to spend the rest of their precious lives where no one can see them, or be bothered by their growing care and needs. Instead of learning how to communicate, love, and care for them, we have cast them aside. Millions have been put away to live out the rest of their lives where no one will be bothered by old age. Power up your tools By using basic communication techniques, health care staff members can quickly improve the quality of life for the elderly in their care. The easiest tools to use are those that you and your staff members already possess but just need to "turn on." Those tools include: * Listening. Many times the elderly resident simply wants to be heard. Take a brief moment and listen intently. In an authentic and caring manner, respond to their comments or questions. You will be surprised how little time this takes. All too often staff members may a give a blanket response or gesture to "hurry up" and complete their duties with each resident. * Taking the time. Take a moment and respond with a touch, a hug, or a kind word. Watch how the resident's mental well-being and physical health improve. * Touching. Physical contact allows you to communicate in a very special way. It is an expression of nurturing and caring. The elderly resident in your care wants and needs to be touched. Be close to her even if just for a brief moment. You automatically create a new relationship with her. * Using simple words. Speak slowly in a calm but amply loud voice. Don't assume that your resident understands what instructions you are giving him. Ask him to repeat the instructions back to you. Explain what it is you are asking him to do. Kindness Kindness See also Generosity. Allworthy, Squire Tom Jones’s goodhearted foster father. [Br. Lit. and touch will result in your instructions being received with authority, not resentment Resentment is an emotion of anger felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done. Etymologically from "ressentir", French re-, intensive prefix, and sentir "to feel"; from the latin "sentire". The English word has become synonymous with anger and bitterness. . * Speaking. Talk slowly and clearly. Face the elderly person you are talking to Noun 1. talking to - a lengthy rebuke; "a good lecture was my father's idea of discipline"; "the teacher gave him a talking to" lecture, speech rebuke, reprehension, reprimand, reproof, reproval - an act or expression of criticism and censure; "he had to . Get down to her level so she can hear you and see you. If she has a hearing aid, be sure it is on and working. Be willing to repeat your conversation if she doesn't hear you. You may need to write down the instructions for the elderly person to understand you. * Being patient. Allow the elderly resident the time to process the information. Do not rush him into a quick decision. You would not want him to react out of fear and guilt. Practice patience. * Sharing. Be forthcoming with your own feelings and emotions. Don't be afraid. * Staying positive. Use loving and constructive suggestions. Elderly residents have been living life their way for decades and they will resist change. Your positive reinforcement positive reinforcement, n a technique used to encourage a desirable behavior. Also called positive feedback, in which the patient or subject receives encouraging and favorable communication from another person. of them as a human being will result in your suggestions being received better. * Informing. Provide accurate information to the elderly resident. Do not try to spare him by telling half-truths or by making promises you may not be able to keep. The elderly resident has been dealing with life's realities for decades and can handle the truth. Be sure to include a soft-spoken, gentle voice and a loving attitude when speaking the reality of a situation. You make a difference. The job of being a caregiver is a difficult one. Whether you are a seasoned health care professional or a novice volunteer, your commitment to caring for the elderly is both heartwarming heart·warm·ing or heart-warm·ing adj. 1. Causing gladness and pleasure. 2. Eliciting sympathy and tender feelings: a heartwarming tale. Adj. 1. and fulfilling, as well as demanding and frustrating frus·trate tr.v. frus·trat·ed, frus·trat·ing, frus·trates 1. a. To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart: . As a caregiver you want to do what's best for the elderly residents in your care, and sometimes, everything you have to give may not feel like it's enough. Give from your heart and know you have done all you can. Have fun, be loving, and smile. You are the link between the elderly and the outside world. You play a vital part in their life. Your attitude and communication will improve your life as well as the quality of life for the elderly residents in your care. Remember, by each of us taking the first step to bring human kindness, love, and gentle communication to our elders, the world of the American family American Family is a photographic artwork exhibition by Renée Cox. See also
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