Colleagues' support key to shooter's recovery.

Byline: TRICIA SCHWENNESEN The Register-Guard

THEY SHARE a bond of friendship - taking in weekends of fly-fishing on the McKenzie River and meeting for family get-togethers.

But officer Ted Williams and Sgt. Jay Shadwick share another bond that they wouldn't wish on anyone.

That of the first friendly fire shooting in local SWAT team history.

Williams shot Shadwick. And he meant to - but only because he thought Shadwick was an armed suspect.

"There's absolutely no doubt it was the worst moment of my life," Williams said. "The thing that really helped out is from the second it happened to now, I never second-guessed what I did."

Williams said he relied on instinct and his training with the SWAT team. He told investigators that he followed procedure and that he didn't know Shadwick was in the same spot where the suspect was reported last seen.

Still, the shooting shook him. He went on an indefinite leave, but returned to patrol duty in Eugene after a month. It was another month before he could put on his SWAT uniform. Even then, he wasn't comfortable getting behind the scope of a sniper's rifle.

He and Shadwick were part of a SWAT team response at a rural mobile home near Creswell, where family members told police that the suspect was drunk, armed with a .308-caliber rifle and 50 bullets, and had indicated he "would not be taken alive."

It was dark and foggy. The house was in a shallow valley where radio and cell phone transmissions were fading in and out.

Members of the SWAT time split into teams. At the last minute on an approach to the house, Shadwick changed plans, using hand signals that many of the other SWAT members didn't see.

Williams, a SWAT sniper, saw the shadowy movements of someone holding a high-powered rifle. He also thought he saw the burning cigarette of the suspect and a puff of breath.

Checking in with his partner and spotter, they agreed that it was the suspect.

Williams fired and Shadwick fell to the ground. Williams said he realized the error when he heard someone say over the radio that Shadwick was down. He immediately ran over to check on Shadwick.

Investigations by the Lane County district attorney's office and a Eugene police internal affairs team found no negligence.

"It's tough to talk about and it always will be," said Williams, 31. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Jay and Jay's family, and what happened out in Creswell."

He said he sat at home during his time off, getting out whenever a friend and fellow officer who lived across the street came by.

"I don't remember a whole lot of it," Williams said. "It was kind of like a month of being numb."

His wife, Denise, and their 2-year-old daughter, Hannah, provided a solid foundation of support, supplemented by many calls and well wishes from fellow team members and others in the department.

"My wife, she was a rock through the whole thing," he said.

Williams regularly visited Shadwick in the hospital and at his home, and spent time with SWAT team members.

He got counseling and returned to work, but only after he was sure he was up to the task.

The backing of his colleagues was key. "They trusted me before. They trusted me then and they trust me now," Williams said. "That was very important to me."

He's glad Shadwick also is back at work. "He cares about the people he works with," Williams said.

"When he asks you if there's anything he can do for you, he's sincere, whether it's as your supervisor or when he calls you off duty as a friend.

"We get along just the same as we always did."