Cocktails in the cockpit; FLYING.

A DRUNK pilot had to be guided in to land by a rescue helicopter after asking the control tower: "Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?" The amateur, 65, already sloshed at take-off, downed cocktails in the skies and got lost. Controllers scrambled a helicopter when he started singing and joking on his light aircraft's radio over east Germany.

After he landed, police caught him when he drove off in his car. He was four times the limit and has lost his licences to drive and fly.