Coaches' corner.

ARA PARSEGHIAN, upon running into a dozen of his Notre Dame players coming out of church after early mass: "Gentlemen, have you blessed your coach today?"

ROGER STAUBACH's definition of a pep talk: "A triumph of sound over intelligence."

MARY LEVY, the intellectual football coach: "There may be a destiny that shapes our ends, but our equipment manager prefers to do it with tight pants."

BEAR BRYANT: "I get along fine with my college professors once they begin to understand that it's hard to rally around a math paper."

TARZAN OF THE APES to Santa Claus: "Kris, always remember that it's a jungle out there."

JIM RYUN, the great miler: "I started out in life as a sprinter until my coach convinced me that the breaks even out in the long run."

JOHN WOODEN, immortal disciplinarian: "It's not as important to let your players know what you stand for as it is to let them know what you won't stand for."

JACK LALANNE, physical fitness guru, on why he refuses to grow old: "It would ruin my image. I can't even own a fat dog."

SAM RUTIGLIANO, football coach/philosopher, on what constitutes goodness: "It's doing a favor for someone whom you know will never repay you."

CRAIG KILBORN, late night TV host, upon learning that the man who caught Barry Bonds' 73rd home run was offered $1 million for the ball: "In Washington, D.C., collectors are offering $2 billion for any ball caught by a Redskin end."

TERRY BRADSHAW, quarterback guru and TV analyst, when his star was unveiled on Hollywood's renowned Walk of Fame: "My mom and dad always predicted I'd wind up in the cracks of the sidewalk."

TONY KORNHEISER, Washington Post: "How bad are the Redskins? The other day I parked my car on 15th Street. Looking out of my window an hour later, I noticed two Redskin tickets visible on the dashboard. When I looked out again an hour later, I noticed that somebody had left two more."

JIM FASSEL, coach of the powerless N.Y. Giants, after calling upon the FBI to investigate a suspicious looking white powdery substance on the practice field: "The players were sure it was anthrax. The FBI assured them, that it was only the goal line."

NFL LINE COACH: "With so many of our linemen going over 6-5 and 325 lbs., we're going to pour vinegar and oil over the grass and let them graze."

JOHN GRUDEN, the Raiders coach, on how he used to defense the 49ers great left-handed passer, Steve Young: "We always put in all our right-handed hitters."

MARV ALBERT, explaining the Hawks' bad start: "They have a great bunch of outside shooters. It's just too bad they play all of their games indoors."

PETE ROZELLE, on why as commissioner of the NFL, he never had the Chicago Bears move out of antiquated Soldier Field: "We were afraid George Halas would take his league back."

RICK BARRY, on why he never saw a shot he didn't like in his years in the NBA, and why he always finished in the bottom ten in assists: "I never saw a player who looked bigger than the basket."

JIM MURRAY, on Hank Aaron's griping as he approached Babe Ruth's home-run record: "Every time he hit a homer he expected the ump to stop the game and give him the ballpark."

BILL CURRY, on Vince Lombardi: "He was the only coach I ever knew, who when he said sit down you didn't bother looking for a chair."