Coaches' corner.

KFWB Radio's BRET LEWIS, on the Cowboys' acquisition of Drew Henson, giving the team three QBs (Henson, Chad Hutchinson, and Quincy Carter) who had experienced undistinguished minorleague baseball careers: "It is being said around Dallas that the Cowboys are getting close to having more bad baseball players than the Texas Rangers."

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Suggestions from MIKE DOWNEY, Chicago Tribune, for the now-infamous Georgia-Harrick basketball final exam: (1) In what state is Kentucky?, (2) Spell ESPN.

Northwestern's BILL CARMODY, after his Wildcats beat Penn State in the 2004 Big 10 tournament despite hitting only 5 of 25 three-pointers, missing half their free-throws, and being outrebounded by 19: "There are positives, but you can't dwell on them right now."

STEVE ROSENBLOOM, Chicago Tribune, on the hometown Bears' increased prices for end-zone seats: "Guess the Bears figure that it ought to cost a lot of money to get to the place the Bears themselves can't get to."

San Diego Padres setup man ROD BECK on his role out of the bullpen: "I'm not a superstar. I'm not a professional athlete, per se. My job just happens to be on television. If plumbers were on TV, their behinds would be famous."

Former Utah coach RICK MAJERUS, discussing his health on Fox Sports' "Best Damn Sports Show Period": "I've had seven bypasses, one for each major food group and two for the barbeque division."

DAVID WHITLEY of the Orlando Sentinel: "Vegas reports that betting on the NCAA hoop tournament now exceeds the $70 bet on the Super Bowl. But the office-pool betting will amount to somewhere between $1 billion and $13 gazillion, depending on the extent of Pete Rose's involvement."

Former Atlanta Braves infielder DARREL CHANEY on how management could keep the team on its toes: "Raise the urinals."

The late AL MCGUIRE, on his broadcast partner, Billy Packer: "Call him 'Washroom Billy.' When the check comes, Billy is always in the washroom.

Saint Joseph's basketball coach PHIL MARTELLI, after pulling an all-nighter following his teams' NCAA East Rutherford region semifinal against Wake Forest to watch tape of Oklahoma State: "I can only suggest that once in your life you see the sunrise in Secaucus."

PETE ROSE: "When you play this game 20 years, go to bat 10,000 times, and get 3,000 hits, do you know what that means? You've gone zero for seven-thousand."

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL when asked how he would defend himself: "I wouldn't. I would just go home. I'd fake an injury or something."

DON SHULA on the importance of having a top-flight NFL QB: "Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck."

The late great LA Times Sports Columnist, JIM MURRAY: "Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."

Hall of Fame pitcher DON SUTTON, on his career with the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels: "I am the most loyal player money can buy."

MUHAMMAD ALI: "Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up."

JIM CAMP, former George Washington U. football coach, on why he didn't use a lonely end: "We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown."

All-time home run champion HANK AARON: "It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf."

LOU DUVA, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

GREG BUTTLE, former New York Jet linebacker, explaining his contractual obligations: "They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free."

TORRIN POLK, former U. of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

The late TUG MCGRAW, relief pitcher extraordinaire, on whether he preferred grass or AstroTurf: "I dunno. I never smoked any AstroTurf."