Coaches' Corner.

JACK NICKLAUS: "Rule No. 1 in golf etiquette is: Never pick up a 'lost' ball while it is still rolling."

DO BELINSKY, former playboy of the universe: "I'm working as hard as I can to get my money and my life to run out at the same time. If I can stay alive until lunch tomorrow, everything will be perfect."

LOU HOLTZ, on life and death decisions that have to be made in the fourth quarter: "I try to remember that there will always be a billion Chinese people who think the red zone is just a place where communists go to be buried."

RICK MAJERUS, Utah basketball coach, on why he remains a coach's coach: "Coaches will bring their wives to my games and point to me. 'See that fat guy sitting there? He's doing fine. Can I have a few beers?"'

TOMMY LASORDA, on the most conceited ballplayer he ever knew: "When he heard he was being traded because, for the money he was making, the ballclub could get two players for him, he just knew he was being traded to the Yankees for Ruth and Gehrig."

FOOTBALL COACH, when asked how he liked coaching at Harvard after 15 seasons with the Green Bay Packers, Pittsburgh Steelers, and Miami University: "It's swell. The kids are taking turns teaching me spelling and algebra."

GATES BROWN, the old major league outfielder, on his educational background: "I took a little English, a little math, a little science, and a lot of little hubcaps."

THE AD'S WARNING WORDS to the coach he had just hired to produce a big-time football program: "Just remember, if you finish above .500, the NCAA will investigate you. If you finish below .500, the alumni will investigate."

RIDDICK BOWE, upon being accused of using a foreign substance on his boxing gloves: "It isn't a foreign substance. It is made right here in Philadelphia."

GEORGE BRETT, on the hitter he admired most: "It had to be Ted Williams. He could get the good wood on an aspirin."

JACK RAMSAY, on how coaches used to prepare their teams to take on Wilt Chamberlain: "He puts his pants on the same way we do, except hey come four feet higher."

CASEY STENGEL, waiting in the lobby when his three night owls showed up at three in the morning: "And what have you guys been doing all this while?"

"We were waiting outside for you to come home."

FORREST EVASHEYSKI, upon being honored by the Pilsudski Society of Chicago as Football Coach of the Year: "I'd like you to know that every time a non-football fan hears my name he thinks I'm a national park in Poland."

RALPH FRIEDGEN, upon accepting the head football job at Maryland: "Maryland has not won a football championship in 40 years. If I don't win one in the next 40 years, I will resign."

DO SCHEMBECHLER, on how tough it was to play for Woody Hayes at Miami of Ohio: "Every time our captain lost a coin toss, he'd have to run 10 laps in practice."

JIM MORA, the unhappy former coach of the Indianapolis Colts: "In the Olympics, you get a silver medal for finishing second. In the NBA, a second-place finish puts you in the playoffs. In golf, finish second and you can make $98,000. In politics, finish second and you go back to dog-catching."

CUMBERLAND HEAD COACH, after losing to Georgia Tech, 220-0 in 1916: "Good thing we were up for this game or they'd have killed us."

GENE KEADY, Purdue basketball coach, on which of his teams he liked best: "My 1993 team. They were so aggressive they'd foul out in the warmups."