Coaches' corner.

SHAQUILLE O'NEAL: "I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA."

Yankee broadcaster MICHAEL KAY, after Alex Rodriguez homered three times and singled to drive in 10 runs on April 26: "A-Rod has had a great month tonight!"

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GEORGE KARL, Denver Nuggets coach, as quoted in the Denver Post, on why he dislikes the zone defense: "I don't know who to yell at when it doesn't work."

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TOMMY JOHN, former Dodgers and Yankees hurler on his revolutionary elbow surgery in 1974 that came to be known as 'Tommy John surgery': "When they operated, I told them to put in a [Sandy] Koufax fastball. They did--but it was Mrs. Koufax's."

Former Dallas Cowboy QB DON MEREDITH on his former coach, the late Tom Landry: "He's a perfectionist. If he was married to Raquel Welch, he'd expect her to cook."

KNUTE ROCKNE, legendary Notre Dame coach, when asked after a game why the Irish had lost: "I won't know until my barber tells me on Monday."

JAY LENO on the Los Angeles Lakers: "It's almost time for April Fool's. But enough about the Lakers making the playoffs."

More LENO: "Actually, to give credit, the Lakers' management has put together a great team. It's in Miami, but you know ..."

Former major league relief pitcher AL HRABOSKY, known as the 'Mad Hungarian,' on the ovation he expects as a visiting player: "When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo."

BOBBY HULL, NHL Hall of Famer, on his divorce: "My wife made me a millionaire. I used to have three million."

Former Detroit Tigers pitcher MICKEY LOLICH on his rotund physique: "All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'"

BILL WALTON, former NBA great who was hampered by injuries throughout his career: "I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you."

CRAIG NETTLES, former New York Yankee third sacker: "When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a baseball player and join the circus. With the Yankees I've accomplished both."

Former Denver Broncos head coach JOHN RALSTON: "I left because of illness and fatigue. The fans were sick and tired of me."

Comedian CHRIS ROCK on his lack of prowess on the basketball court: "It's always fun to be around a white park knowing you're going to get picked to play basketball. The looks on the white guys' faces when you can't play basketball is priceless. It's like you're the Loch Ness Monster. 'We've heard you existed, but we never thought we'd see you.'"

CONRAD DOBLER, former philosophical bad boy NFL offensive lineman, speaking about his trade from St. Louis to New Orleans: "Religiously speaking, it is an advancement from a Cardinal to a Saint."

The late HARRY CARAY, all-time great Chicago Cubs announcer: "What does a mama bear on the birth control pill have in common with the World Series? No Cubs!"

Legendary Boston Celtics coach RED AUERBACH: "Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up."