Coaches' corner.

HANK AARON, baseball's all-time home run hitter: "I never thought home runs were all that exciting. I still think the triple is the most exciting thing in baseball. To me, a triple is like a guy taking the ball on his 1-yard line and running 99 yards for a touchdown."

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MARVIN BARNES, former ABA enigma when told that the team plane would be leaving at 8:30 a.m. local time and arriving back at 8 p.m.: "I ain't getting on no time machine."

"HOT" ROD HUNDLEY on his biggest thrill: "It was the night Elgin Baylor and I combined for 73 points at Madison Square Garden. Elgin had 71 of them."

BEN CURTIS, a PGA non-entity until winning the 2003 British Open on his disbelief that he was playing so well in the final round: "Once I got to four or five under, I asked myself, 'What's going on here?'

GARRY TEMPLETON, former slick fielding St. Louis Cardinals and San Diego Padres shortstop when told he had made the National League All-Star team as a reserve: "If I ain't startin, I ain't departin."

RALPH KINER, Hall of Fame slugger and New York Mets broadcaster on the defensive prowess of former Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Garry Maddox: "Two thirds of the earth is covered by water. The other third is covered by Garry Maddox."

VINCE LOMBARDI: "If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?"

DAVE BARRY, popular humorist: "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

CHARLES BARKLEY, on his fortunate life as an NBA player: "If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming."

YOGI BERRA, master of the non-obvious: "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin."

ALBERT EINSTEIN, great thinker and realist: "You teach me baseball and I'll teach you relativity ... No we must not. You will learn about relativity faster than I learn baseball."

DOUG PLANK, former hard-hitting Chicago Bears safety, who's number 46 was the inspiration for Buddy Ryan's innovational "46" defense: "Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental."

ERMA BOMBECK, one of the funniest and most sarcastic writers of our time: "If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead."

LEROY (SATCHEL) PAIGE, Hall of Fame pitcher and Negro League legend: "If a man can beat you, walk him."

GEORGE WILL, author, sports fan, and political savant: "Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings."

UNKNOWN: "The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity."

JIM BOUTON, former Yankees pitcher and author of Ball Four: "Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many players on the field?"

GEORGE RAVELING, while coaching at Washington State: "I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."

WOODY ALLEN: "When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty, and go back to first."

GEORGE BRETT, Hall of Fame third baseman on his former goals: "If I stay healthy, I have a chance to collect three thousand hits and one thousand errors."