Coach led by example.

Byline: Karen McCowan / The Register-Guard

EVEN ARRIVING EARLY, you couldn't find a parking space within blocks of Junction City's First Christian Church.

Maybe because this was an unusual memorial service crowd: mainly men, most arriving alone, hands jammed into pockets against the foggy cold. Inside, their bass voices dominated the singing of "Amazing Grace."

They came from as far away as Georgia, these men who were once Don Ruecker's ballplayers during his 33 years at Junction City High School.

I knew most of them as boys, but this was one of those funerals that is a wake-up call. Seeing people you haven't seen in 25 or 30 years, you realize: We've turned into our parents.

This supplanting of generations was nowhere more evident than in Don's son. Now himself a coaching legend at Glencoe High, Craig looks uncannily like Don in his prime.

The standing-room-only turnout was testament to more than Don's success as a coach, though his baseball teams made the state playoffs eight times and were state AA champs in 1972 and 1974.

But bench-warmers joined his most successful players Wednesday to pay their respects. He molded character as much as talent. A lifelong Lutheran, he tolerated no profanity among his players and didn't use it himself. (Though, as the Rev. Roger Sylwester eulogized, `Many umpires would attest to his creative use of language to express his displeasure.')

Don was a guy who lived by the adage printed on the cover of his memorial service program: "A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove ... But the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."

Indeed, he lived out his life in the same modest ranch house.

I learned from him in the classroom, where his knowledge of World War II brought history alive for us - though I never recall him mentioning his own service as a Navy signalman.

Don also taught by example. He and his wife, Pat, were the first foster parents I remember knowing, taking into their home a classmate of Craig's whose own family had fallen apart.

They considered that boy, Andy Hammond, an equal to Craig and his brother, Doug - even in adulthood.

Don's greatest lesson for me came after he retired in 1984. Where others might have given up and checked out, he did whatever it took to overcome major depression. That courage gave his family 16 more years before cancer claimed him last week.

"I often tell Dad's story to help clients prepare for the emotional as well as financial changes that come with retirement," said Doug, a financial planner.

WITH TERRORIST attacks and war dominating the news, some therapists advise a "news sabbatical" for those it leaves feeling helpless and hopeless.

May I suggest instead a local reader's way to use even the worst news for good.

Michael Whiddett of Junction City is a stay-at-home father of a 4-year-old. Maybe that's why he felt compelled to act after seeing one Sept. 11 victim's name and age crawl across the CNN screen: Juliana Valentine McCourt, 4.

Whiddett was even more upset when he read the next day that Juliana and her mom were bound for Disney World when their plane was hijacked and crashed, leaving her dad as the family's only survivor.

"There was so much tragedy that day," Whiddett said. "But this little girl's death touched me in ways I can't explain. I felt like I had to reach out one-on-one."

He contacted the Red Cross to see how he could send a card to Juliana's father, and learned a fund has been established in her memory. He made a donation, but wanted me to let others know about the Juliana Valentine McCourt Children's Education Fund. It will fund teaching the virtues of generosity, kindness and appreciation of differences among cultures, races and religions. Tax-deductible donations can be sent to the Community Foundation of Southeastern Connecticut, P.O. Box 769, New London, CT 06320.

Whiddett didn't have to twist my arm - I've long been a believer in acting when some tragedy in the news speaks especially to me.

In fact, I'd also been moved by a news account to write to one particular survivor who lost family Sept. 11. I won't tell her story, because that wasn't my purpose in writing to her. But I will share one excerpt from her unexpected and eloquent reply - in hopes more readers will act on the impulse to reach out to a stranger:

"I have never believed in 'coincidences' and believe God has His hand in our lives all the time," she wrote. "Please know how very much I appreciated receiving your lovely card and thoughtful words. They arrived on a day that I especially needed to hear them."