Civil War, and Pretty Tied UpNO BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER Simon and Garfunkel The duo of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel are American popular musicians known collectively as Simon and Garfunkel. They met in elementary school in 1953, when they both appeared in the school play Alice in Wonderland (Simon as the White Rabbit, Garfunkel as the . Steptoe and Son Steptoe and Son is a British sitcom written by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson about two rag and bone men living in Oil Drum Lane, a fictional street in Shepherd's Bush, London. Four series were aired on the BBC from 1962 to 1965, followed by a second run from 1970 to 1974. . Houllier and Evans. The Fiver usually has to wait a little longer to discover - usually via a Channel 4 drama starring that bloke who "does" Tony Blair Noun 1. Tony Blair - British statesman who became prime minister in 1997 (born in 1953) Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, Blair - that, in fact, its favourite loveable love·a·ble adj. Variant of lovable. Adj. 1. loveable - having characteristics that attract love or affection; "a mischievous but lovable child" lovable double acts secretly didn't get on. This one looked like a perfect match too. He was a square-faced, war-on-drugs-waging, human rights controversialist ex-Thai prime minister with big dreams (plus £1.5bn in frozen bank accounts). He was a quietly-spoken Swede swede: see turnip. who liked nothing better than fine English tailoring, pace up front and vigorous sweaty congress with a string of blousy middle-aged women. It all started so well, too. Table-topping Manchester derby-fluking exploits on the pitch. Elano capering about like a spring lamb. Olympic 200m champion Michael Johnson Michael Johnson or Mike Johnson may refer to:
The highest bid and lowest ask at market for a particular security during a given time in the trading day. Notes: The touchline just specifies the best bid or ask available for a particular stock. See also: Ask, Ask Size, Best Ask, Bid, Bid-Ask Spread, Spread moper Sven-Goran Eriksson almost overnight. All of which seems to have sunk below the waterline almost as quickly as an Eriksson England XI with a half-time lead. "I'm not happy with the performance of the club in the second half of the season," Human Rights FC owner Thaksin told assorted sherry-stained hacks at a business conference in Dubai this morning. "We have some good players but we need more. We need some defenders, midfielders ... midfielders are the key," the square-faced one mused, scribbling scrib·ble v. scrib·bled, scrib·bling, scrib·bles v.tr. 1. To write hurriedly without heed to legibility or style. 2. To cover with scribbles, doodles, or meaningless marks. v. the word "midfielders" several times on a Post-it. "We will look at it at the end of the season and assess the club and the people involved," Thaksin added, drawing a moustache and comedy fangs on a picture of Eriksson. He then went on to insist that he'd never even met Big Phil "Luiz Felipe" Scolari, apparently a candidate to relocate his devotional china figurine collection to Human Rights HQ. Given that any kind of mention in the same sentence as Big Phil "Luiz Felipe" is managerial code for get the shoebox shoe·box n. 1. An oblong box, usually made of cardboard, for holding a pair of shoes. 2. Something resembling or suggestive of such a box, as a plain, rectangular building or a cramped room or dwelling. Noun 1. packed and book a minicab min·i·cab n. A minicar used as a taxicab, especially in England. minicab Noun Brit an ordinary car used as a taxi Noun 1. to the tram station, things are looking rather bleak for Eriksson. Not to mention the Fiver's favourite south-east Asian telecoms magnate/jobbing Nordic smooth-talker soccer link-up. Next thing you know they'll be telling us Cannon and Ball Cannon and Ball are an English comedy double act consisting of Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball. The duo met in the early 1960s while working as welders in Oldham and began working the pubs and clubs of Lancashire. have become born-again Christians and started doing gospel shows. What's that? Oh. * * * * * * * * * * * * QUOTE OF THE DAY "We have done it once or twice, but I am not one for having a one-to-one in my office and a nice little cuddle in the corner" - Roy Keane Roy Maurice Keane (born 10 August, 1971 in Mayfield, Cork City, Ireland) is an Irish former professional footballer and the current manager of English Premier League club Sunderland. admits his struggles with the notorious cuddle culture at Sunderland. ********************* WHY CRUYFF TURNED Gasps of astonishment today resounded around Holland as word wafted through that the fabled Mystery Of The Missing Dutch Master (aka why Johan Cruyff refused to play in the 1978 World Cup) had been resolved. Cruyff had led the Oranje all the way to the 1974 final, where they were squashed by West Germany West Germany: see Germany. , but he controversially opted out of the 1978 edition without giving an explanation ... until now. Plenty of theories have been posited: that Cruyff was a conscientious objector conscientious objector, person who, on the grounds of conscience, resists the authority of the state to compel military service. Such resistance, emerging in time of war, may be based on membership in a pacifistic religious sect, such as the Society of Friends , refusing to travel to Argentina so as not to give a propaganda coup to the military junta Noun 1. military junta - a group of military officers who rule a country after seizing power junta clique, coterie, ingroup, inner circle, camp, pack - an exclusive circle of people with a common purpose that ran the country at the time; that he stayed away on the orders of his wife, who four years earlier had spent the night before the 1974 final arguing with the three-times European Footballer of the Year The "Ballon d'Or" (French for "Golden Ball") is a football award, created in 1956 by the French football magazine France Football. It is usually known in English as the European Footballer of the Year award. after a German tabloid published sordid allegations about a swimming pool, scantily-clad floozies and excited Dutch squad members; or simply that, at 31, Cruyff feared he was over the hill. But now Cruyff has revealed to Radio Cataluyna that he stayed at home because he was still racked by fear after he and his family were threatened with a rifle during a failed kidnap attempt the previous year. "I had a rifle at my head, I was tied up, my wife tied up, the children were in the apartment in Barcelona," recalled Cruyff, who didn't explain how the ordeal ended but said that the family needed police protection for the next four months. Under the circumstances, Cruyff didn't feel he could concentrate on the World Cup. "To play a World Cup you have to be 200%," said Cruyff. "There are moments when there are other values in life." Some may say that, as is turned out, Holland didn't miss him - after all, they still made it to the 1978 final where they were beaten by the hosts, just as they did four years earlier. But that is to miss the bigger picture: THEY ALSO LOST TO SCOTLAND FOR CHRISSAKES! ********************* THE RUMOUR MILL Thaksin Shinawatra is measuring up the dressing room at the City of Manchester Stadium Manchester City F.C. • • [ to see if he could squeeze in Peter Crouch. Ears have pricked up at the Santiago Bernabéu after Mancini rejected Roma's offer of a contract extension. And times are so tough at Hamburg that even Ged Houllier has refused to take over as manager. * * * * * * * * * * NEWS IN BRIEF Chelsea's pre-season high-jinks will now include a jolly to Moscow after they signed up for the Russian Railways Cup Russian Railways Cup (Russian: Кубок РЖД) is an annual pre-season football tournament, held in Moscow. at the beginning of August. AC Milan, Sevilla and hosts Lokomotiv Moscow will muck in for the four-game tournament. Luca Toni is beginning to feel lonely without any Italian chums at Bayern Munich. "It would really please me to have an Italian team-mate," he sighed. "I have expressed this to the club already, but we'll see if anything comes out of it." Tomas Rosicky has shot down rumours that he fell off the side of the earth sometime in late 2007 by showing up in Prague to continue rehabilitation on his God-only-knows-what's-wrong-at-this-stage-knack. And Colombian side Millonarios have sacked coach Mario Alberto Vanemerak two days after he received a three-month ban for kicking down a dressing-room door. "It's very painful because Mario is a person with great commitment to the institution," sniffed club president Juan Carlos Lopez. * * * * * * * * * STILL WANT MORE? Jonathan Wilson reckons England won't be the only country ballsing up their hosting of an international sporting event come the summer of 2012. Ronaldo, Rooney and Tevez might just be a better strike-force than Best, Law and Charlton, yippees Simon Hattenstone. How can Rangers be called boring when they're about to win the quadruple?, asks Ewan Murray. David Hopps has been blogging live on the first day of the county cricket season. And in tomorrow's £0.80 Big Paper: Page 12 stunnah Marina Hyde on the US-style entourages coming to the Premier League; Lawrence Donegan on the boardroom strife at Liverpool; and a short man on a horse (maybe several). * * * * * * * * * * * FIVER LETTERS "I notice that Matthew Lutz, brother of sometime Fiver writer Tom, visited my sponsorship site recently and took umbrage at his brethren's generosity towards my good cause when he himself has never benefited from such generosity. Was he so offended that he felt unable to bring himself to sponsor me, as his name is conspicuous by its absence on my site? Would he like me to run further?" - Gregg Roughley, guardian.co.uk/sport. "Three seasons without silverware? All Gooner fans will say that is rubbish. They are the two-time defending champions of the Emirates Cup and they have also won the Amsterdam Tournament two out of the last three years. Perhaps they can only win silverware in the month of August" - Daniel Rojas. "Re: Conor Hannon's letter yesterday. Myself and few friends have been debating the Mystery Of Ray Stubbs' Right Arm for a couple of months. We dismissed the more outlandish possibilities, such as a prosthetic pros·thet·ic adj. 1. Serving as or relating to a prosthesis. 2. Of or relating to prosthetics. prosthetic serving as a substitute; pertaining to prostheses or to prosthetics. arm, and deduced simply that he's covering his ample man-flab" - Jonny Pickering. "I was watching Lyon play Rennes the other day and after Cris scored for Lyon he put on a baby's bib bib - BibTeX with the letters MANU on it. Does anyone know why?" - Luke Cornish [Er, perhaps because he's recently had a baby daughter called Manu - Fiver Ed]. "Grow up you shower of wierdos. Its old, boring and tiresome. Three semis in four years... something must be going right. Whats your teams done????" - Ian Liverpool. Send your letters to the.boss@guardian.co.uk. * * * * * * * * * * * STOCKHOLM - THE VENICE OF THE NORTH The term Venice of the North refers to various cities in the north that contain canals.
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