Christmas cardie from my dad-in-law causes a stir at work.Byline: MIKE LOCKLEY My Italian father-in-law hasn't yet got the hang of doling out Christmas presents. This season he bestowed on me a cardie that he'd originally bought for himself, but wore once and, to use his words, thought it looked naff. Some things are better left unsaid. It is, however, the thought that counts: the 'thought' on this occasion being, 'who can I offload this naff cardie on? I know - my son-in-law'. It's apparently the first item of clothing a charity shop has refused on grounds of taste - and the charity shop in question was displaying a chamois chamois (shăm`ē), hollow-horned, hoofed mammal, Rupicapra rupicapra, found in the mountains of Europe and the E Mediterranean. leather Elvis jockstrap in its window. Such acts of selflessness underline why he was a successful businessman. He not only got rid of a fashion faux pas This page has been divided into the following:
adj. That can be presumed or taken for granted; reasonable as a supposition: presumable causes of the disaster. , by a blind person in a mental institution (there are still flecks of the madman's spittle spit·tle n. Spit; saliva. down the front), he also saved on the cost of a Christmas present. I'm lucky, really. He had to buy a new pair of dentures just before the break. I was concerned I'd end up with the old ones. That would've been a very interesting gift to unwrap under the tree. "It's...it's...a set of false teeth. How did you know I was planning to get my real ones kicked out in the New Year?" In the early 80s I bought a pair of Y-fronts with Bruce Lee's image on the gusset gus·set n. 1. A triangular insert, as in the seam of a garment, for added strength or expansion. 2. A triangular metal bracket used to strengthen a joist. 3. . I'm going to dig the purple monstrosities out and hand them to him. Out of duty, I've worn the thing. If I'd strutted into work with an albatross round my neck, fellow workers would've been less shocked. One said I looked like Val Doonican's delinquent kid brother. "Christmas present?" enquired a colleague, desperately trying to hide a smirk. "Not exactly," I answered, shuffling uncomfortably. "It was passed on to me by someone else." "Bloody hell," he laughed, "the world's first 'chain cardie'. If you can't find someone to send it to within seven days do you get a lifetime's bad luck?" "Guess what?" he added, fingering the fawn-coloured fashion disaster. "You've just got yourself a lifetime's bad luck." |
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