Chet childress high on life.

THERE ARE A CERTAIN FEW PEOPLE in this world who are unmistakably cut from a different stone, and I can safely say that Chet Childress is one of them. His characteristics put him somewhere between the Dukes of Hazzard and CB4--or maybe Lynyrd Skynyrd meets the Geto Boys. Like a bag of Levi Garrett chewing tobacco (forged from the same great state of North Carolina that he is), Chet gets you high on life and keeps you going all day. You may know him by one of his many aliases: Crooks, Luda, Luda Crooks, Ol' Dirty Crooks. ... And the list keeps goin'. Now, those are names that no one would self-apply where I come from, but then again, Luda is no ordinary man. Nor does he follow the same guidelines of so-called everyday normality. He simply makes up the rules as he goes along, never slowing down for anyone or anything. Crooks is a bat out of hell who keeps the good times rollin' and rips harder than you 'til the sun goes down. Chet Childress, or whichever name he chooses to take on, is straight up one in a million.

Chet, have you ever had a job?

Yeah, I've worked some jobs in my life. I delivered subs on my bike, ran a rollercoaster at an amusement park, and slang skateboards over the phone. It's been awhile now. I have no complaints.

Growing up in Wilmington, NC, when did you start skateboarding?

I started skating with my brother Clint back in the day. He was forced to bring his mark-ass little brother around. That was around 1984. My mom didn't make that much money, so we had to share a board for awhile. We grew up on the coast of North Carolina; since we had waves all the surfers would build ramps. That's how things really got started.

Who from North Carolina influenced your skating at that time?

All the punker and stoner guys, my brother's crew, for sure. He's three years older than me. They showed me the ropes as much as they could. It's cool when you look back and realize how cool those guys really were, to bring some kid around that was younger than them. They showed me punk rock, too; I'm thankful.

Did you used to skate vert mainly, or were you into skating everything?

I grew up skating backyard ramps and parking lots during the pressure flip days. I kind of only skated ramps because I thought that shit was gay--guys skating flatground, turning out of tricks with big-ass pants. I skated vert and mini-ramps then. We got this skatepark called the Ramp House when I was 13. I got a job sweeping it so I could skate for free. That's when I started meeting all kinds of people and really getting exposed to styles and individuality. People were coming from all over to skate that place. I met so many people then that still skate today: Hewitt, Red, Groholski, Bailey, Barker, Stranger, Hosoi, Hensley, and a lot of others. There were so many rippers that showed up there. It was good times, for sure.

Did you used to skate with Kenny Hughes when you were growing up?

Yeah, I grew up around big Hughes. First time I ever saw the guy he was playing some video game in a Go-Go Mart out in nowhere, out in the sticks. Then I started seeing him at some mini-ramps. Once the Ramp House was built, that's where everyone came together. Kenny used to rip vert. I think Alfonso was his favorite skater at that time. We all used to work for Reggie Barnes together at Eastern Skateboard Supply--Kenny, Bob Reynolds, Far East Mike, Ken Lehman, and some other heads. Reggie hooked us up with a ramp and some street stuff. That got us by for awhile. Then we all just started doing our own thing. Kenny came up; first guy to switch crooked grind a real rail. For the record, I've seen Kenny knock some fools out.

Were you a hyper kid back then like you are now as an adult? Is it something to do with the red hair?

Yes, I was born with the madness. It's a disease, for sure. Red hair equals temper. I have cooled off over the years.

Give the lowdown on your crooked-ass arm.

My right arm is fused together so that I can't turn my wrist all the way around. When I was two I figured out how to open the car door while my mom was driving 35 miles an hour. I flew out of the car in my seat and pulled it. I slid down the freeway in my baby seat. I guess I was just trying to get a grind or something. My mother was in shock. When she ran up I was chilling in my seat ready to go. It might have happened then, who knows. I don't.

How has it affected or strengthened your skateboarding?

Since I can't turn my wrist all the way around it's hard to build the muscles in that arm. Plus that arm is an inch or two shorter than the other one, so I can't grab things all that hot with it. Like the stalefish. But it's been a good joke for years now.

Who were some of your first sponsors? Was it hard to get hooked up back then being from the East Coast?

I'm not going to mention any names, but yeah, I'm hyped, because people aren't really in a hurry to hook up some redneck nerd with four eyes from the coast of North Carolina. Getting free stuff saved my mom's pockets, for sure. I did ride for Dogtown with Wade, Karma, and Cards when I was 16. I remember I went on tour with those guys. I'm still blown away to this day. I've still got stories; that was more than 15 years ago. Damn, where did those years go?

When did you make it out to California? How did that change affect you or your skating style?

When my mom died, things got a little rough. I was with my son's morn and we were not getting along. We were way too young. So I decided to dip out, quit my job, and go for it. Navarrette hooked me up with Creature, and I knew something was going to happen. So I moved to Santa Cruz. They turned me pro and gave me some money and some passport stamps--and that's where it all started.

What about when you started skating with Jason Adams and Tim Brauch and Navs? How did they influence you?

Instantly, Tim was my friend the day we met. That guy took me and showed me the ropes. He showed me to just skate and do your thing. That guy was so naturally motivated. From him I met Jason, and then Jai Tanju. For the record, when I first met Jason he was a pile. He used to fuck with me. Thanks, Kid.

I bet you guys had some great trips. How do skate trips now compare to then?

Yeah, it was different then. We would go on contest trips and demo tours. Now it's better, because we go on trips to really skate, find spots, and hunt down the good shit. I wish Tim were here now so he could get a piece of all the action. Man, that guy would be tearing these parks to pieces.

"SOME INDUSTRY PEOPLE COULDN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH. AND PEOPLE GOT A LITTLE SORE"

When you guys used to ride for Creature, what would Kendall say to you about skateboarding?

I don't really want to talk shit, but when they cut Creature Kendall told me I should pick street or vert. I was like, "Man, I just skate." That day I said fuck it, I'm going to skate the way I want and if people like it, cool, but if not, I'm not going to lose anymore sleep. Luckily skateboarding changed and looked out for the street slashers.

You've always been on the road, traveling and skating all over the United States mostly on your own dime. What keeps you motivated?

I can't get anything done at home; the road just makes you bust out. You find this cool thing to skate and get yours. I like being on the road. It teaches you so many things you can't ever learn in school, like how to react with other people. Traveling shows you how slow or fast a city is. Then you leave the US and that's another ball game. You learn how free most of the world is living compared to us, how they're not so worried about all the crap. America is all about convenience, 24-hour everything. That's why we've got so many fat people cruising around.

Where are the best chicken wings at?

Wilmington, fool. Sub and me just grubbed some down a few minutes ago. Big-ass wings and brewskis.

When 151 skateboards went under, how did you hook up with Black Label?

Jason was starting Six Gun and they wanted me to ride for it, but I was waiting to drop my video part before I jumped ship. Then they pulled the plug before the video came out. So Jason and Lucero were down for me. Thanks, guys. Seriously, they saved me.

Does it feel strange that Jason Adams is not on the team?

It sucks, but the Kid's got to do his thing. I mean, that guy's got a full-on family now. He's the man. His part was banging in that new video. I'm proud of that old cunt.

You just finished up a Black Label video part. Have you been getting a good response to it, and the video as a whole?

Yeah, I think it's cool. It's my first real part besides P-Stone's Thrasher video, Beer Helmet. I'm just glad it's out and I don't have to think about it any more. It took forever to come out, but it's totally all worth it. I really just wanted to come out with a good part doing my thing. Now I'm going to focus on the Swoosh video.

What happened at the premiere in Encinitas when you got on stage? Some people really took you seriously. I guess they know you too well.

We had a Label premiere for the industry people. I was a little drunk and feeling a little feisty. I was trying to make the crowd laugh. I basically said, "Hey, we're Label, this is what we do. We couldn't afford a super ramp or a parachute to launch into the canyon, we're not going to drown in a Tech Deck ad, and we're not going to score a deodorant sponsor anytime soon." Some industry people couldn't handle the truth, and people got a little sore. Good, they can all eat a bag of dicks. I was just trying to be funny.

What's the best thing about riding for the Label?

Lucero makes it easy on me. Sometimes we butt heads, but that's life. Two people, two different mind sets. The coolest thing is that I don't get orders on how to skate. Label just lets me do my thing and that's it.

What do you think about the new line-up at Label?

I think it's fucking sick. I wish shit wouldn't have gone down the way it did. I wish a few of the guys were still there, but Label needed some change. Everyone knows it. I'm backing my whole team now. For awhile I was a little bummed on these wannabe rock star guys.

Have you ever been on a trip with Duane Peters?

Nope, but I would be honored to go on tour with Duane, the Master of Disaster. That guy's got some stories, for sure. Imagine going on tour with Duane and Jay Adams--the real punkers. You kids should really take note when you're sitting in front of the mirror, about to go jump down some stairs. These guys were punk when punk was real.

What's it like when you come down to Orange out with Lucero?

I fall off into the ocean of doom. I hate it down there, but John knows how to numb the pain.

You were riding for Vans for a long time, so how did the Nike thing come about?

Yeah, 10 years and no ad. I did score a lot of passport stamps and a little education. We went on some sick-ass trips. Cardiel, Stranger, Drehobl, Speyer, Omar, Karma, Peterson, TNT, Schaaf, Sisimus, Adams ... But it was time to move on. So I got this lottery ticket from the Swoosh and took it. Since then, I've been able to do my thing even more. They support me and help out lots. Nike helps me out with all my own little adventures. I never would have gotten a taste of life like this without them. And for the record, fuck all you haters out there, too. Eat my shorts.

Do people ever hate on you for riding for Hike?

Yeah, some dorks on the Internet that can't even skate and some company owners that can't run their own companies, so they feel they got to bag on it. Pay for ads bagging on Nike instead of paying their riders or even skating. Hey Birdo, JUST DO IT, BITCH. I did. I guess I'll be in some ad pretty soon. Hate on me.

Do you have a shoe coming out on the Swoosh?

After that statement, I should. I hear Nike hooks up the trips first class, fat meals, open bar. Does that make you want to go skate more or less when you are on a trip?

It's hard sometimes; we've got so many guys on the trip, and I kind of like to skate other stuff, so it gets a little frustrating. But I really like hanging with all the guys. Everyone is cool, and it's nice to go on a trip like that sometimes and sleep in a bed and eat good food. But I still like raw dogging it, too. That's when you really get to skate some spots and meet some individuals.

Tell us about the upcoming Nike film you guys are working on. What will be different from your Label part?

I'm hyped to be in a video with all these different guys. It's got to be good. Nike can't really put out a lame video right now. This thing's got to be banging.

What's it like going on a trip with P-Rod?

It sucks because that fool is too good. That fool lands nothin but bolts, kids. P-Rod's cool as hell.

How is skateboarding in 2006 with all these concrete skateparks popping up all over the place? Is that why you made your move up to Portland last year?

I always liked it up there, it just seems so flee; skateparks with no rules or pad regulations, then you got Burnside. And lots of good food. It's cheap, and there are hot artsy broads.

What's your daily routine when you're home in Portland?

Wake up, walk to my coffee shop, bomb the hill to Burnside, or skate some other stuff. Maybe make some art, fide my bike around, or just chill.

It must be nice because you can hook up with so many different people who are always traveling up there to skate.

Yeah. Lots of people come up during the summer to skate, so it's cool. Winter is a little harsh. You've got to try and hit the road as much as you can--rain, rain, and more rain. It makes you respect the sun.

What makes some parks better than others?

My favorite skateparks are under bridges: Burnside, FDR, Washington Street, and Pedro. I've got a lot of respect for all those hard workers that put back into their scene. Building concrete skateparks is gnarly-ass work. Highest honors to all you people out there that put your life on the line for skateboarding.

What kind of education did you receive? Did you graduate high school or go to college?

I graduated high school and went to art school. Thank God that didn't work out! College loans seem like a lot of work. I think I got my college degree for free.

How are things going with your artwork? I hear you've been doing a few art shows up in Portland.

Art is something to help me pass time. It gives me something to do with my spare time; it fills in the blanks.

Don't you draw stuff for Sessions?

Yes. They let me express myself and make stuff that I think is cool.

Is that something you want to do in the future?

Sure. If somebody wants to pay me to be retarded and design stuff, I'm down. I'm down, for sure.

Your passport must be stamped like a bitch. What country are you looking to visit that you haven't been to?

I'm on my second passport. I never expected to get to go to any of these places; it trips me out. You know, when I was a little kid I just wanted to do the damn thing, but I didn't know all this other stuff came along with it. That's about the best thing about this whole pro skateboarding gig. It's not the money, it's the experiences. I would like to check out Brazil and Quito, Ecuador. That's about it. I've been everywhere else I ever wanted to go.

You haven't entered any contests in the last couple years. Why the change, and what about in the near future?

I hate those things now. I hate the whole skater bro-down party thing. It's like the traveling trade show. It must be nice winning all that scrilla. I just don't have it like that anymore. I'm too grumpy.

Will we ever see Chet Childress in Tech Deck ads?

Hell no! I'm not going to drown in some toy company ad. You think I'm that stupid? What's up with the busted front tooth? Lock up some 12-stair rail or what?

Nah, man. I had that thing capped for like 10 years and it just fell out, and then I tried gluing it in. Then I got this tight-ass tuna sandwich--and that thing went ghost. I'm going to score a gold one soon.

Are the ladies feeling it?

The blind ones love it!

I always see you skating with an iPod on. What kind of jams are you running these days?

Rock and roll.

Nicknames? What are you feeling these days, Chalba or Luda Crooks?

Luda Crooks is my tag. I try to get that up on the walls all over the world.

Do you have any problems?

Sort of, I can't sleep. I need help. I just sit there and toss and turn. I can't turn my brain off at night. It sucks; the only way to get a proper sleep is to black out, and then you feel like shit the next day.

What's the next step for skateboarding?

I hope it stays the way it is now. People ripping banks, walls, ditches, streets, pools, and parks--that's skateboarding to me. Better styles and pushing again. I'm pretty hyped on the state of skateboarding right now.