Cheap thrills and violent passion.

A few months ago I watched a television production of Jane Eyre on the Arts & Entertainment Network. It was very well done, even though they left out a lot of the story (especially anything pertaining to religion, of which there was a good deal in the novel). The central theme of the film was the passionate relationship between the hero, Mr. Rochester, and Jane Eyre, the governess in his employ.

The love scenes (and they were love scenes--no sex in this movie) were fairly intense. The movie had its dark moments, but ended happily, with the lovers blissfully (and licitly) united. The experience of watching the film left this married-for-15-years mother of five wondering, somewhat wistfully, what it would be like to have someone violently in love with me. Don't get me wrong. I know my husband loves me, but it's been a while since he professed as much (in a voice quivering with manly emotion) while kissing me passionately in a wooded glen. Come to think of it, I've never been kissed passionately in a wooded glen.

I like a good love story, and I'm not alone. Women eat this stuff up, whether it's a well-produced film adaptation of a classic novel, a multi-million dollar (albeit plot-free) Hollywood "chick flick" or a bit of shoddily-written pulp fiction from the Bare-chested Man on the Cover section at Walmart. I don't know whether women were made this way, or if it was a result of the Fall (I suspect the latter: "You will yearn for your husband...", Genesis 3:16), but we love stories about love. We want to be loved; we need to feel loved.

Problems emerge when we go looking for it in the wrong places. There's a void within each of us, and in our weakness, we turn to various things in order to fill it. Some of us try to nag our husbands into being more romantic (as if!). Sometimes we turn to the steamier "romance" novels and movies (in other words, pornography), sometimes it's compulsive behaviours like overeating or overspending, sometimes it's over-involvement in activities (even worthwhile ones) which keep us busy, busy, busy.

In more extreme cases, this longing might spark something as serious as marital infidelity--and that covers everything from outright adultery to the seemingly harmless cyber-flirtations with strange men in Internet chatrooms. Whatever the choice of painkiller or heart-filler, it won't satisfy the longing. If anything, our problems only get worse. How many of us have wished to be "swept off our feet" only to find ourselves nailed to a cross?

Recognizing there's a void covers some distance, but we're not really on the right track until we turn to the only One who can fill that empty space. (Hint: he's not your husband--at least not in the physical sense). He does indeed long to be spiritually espoused to us. In fact, he's violently in love with us. So much so that he endured humiliation, torture and crucifixion for our sake. His love is from everlasting to everlasting. He so desires union with us that He gave us His body and blood so that we could be physically, mystically united with Him. (How's that for sheer, dizzying romance?)

At the end of Jane Eyre (the novel), the once headstrong Rochester submits to the will of God, even if it means losing the only woman he loves. Jane too seeks to know God's will for her life, even to the point of being willing to marry the bloodless St. John Rivers despite her still-raging passion for Rochester. The story ends happily, of course, and ours can too, if we seek the Lord above all things.

So skip the cheap thrills. Bypass the pink novels with Adonis on the cover. Get the True Story from Holy Scripture. Turn off the TV and VCR; watch the passion unfold live at Mass. (On second thought, don't just watch--participate!) Stop looking for love and fulfillment in the world, and turn to the tabernacle of your heart, where Jesus awaits a moment or two of your time. You won't be disappointed. It'll be even better than a kiss in a wooded glen.

Mariette Ulrich is from Scott, SK, and is Catholic Insight's Western columnist.