Channel surfin': the sun is shining, the birds are singing. Who cares. There's too much good stuff on TV.

THE GIRLS OF SUMMER

Logo brings skin and surf to your summer in the all-lesbian reality series Curl Girls By Michele Kort

"SURFING IS LIKE SEX," says a sly Michele Fleury, one of the six stars of Logo's new dykes-on-boards reality series, Curl Girls. "Everyone thinks they look really good doing it--but they usually don't."

Reality shows about lesbian surfers, on the other hand, are for fans of sex--or at least fans of sex among flat-abbed, well-tanned women who also can grab a rail, hang 10, or shoot a curl. Originally an hour-long documentary in 2005, Curl Girls got such a positive response from the lesbian audience that Logo morphed it into a six-episode "docu-soap" that's part Work Out, part L Word at the shore.

The six "girls" bring varying levels of surfing expertise to El Porto beach in the LA. suburb of Manhattan Beach, Calif. There are old-timers like 32-year-old Michele--who's been surfing since age 16--as well as surfing newcomer Gingi, 25, who doesn't catch her first wave until episode three.

Also on hand in their bikinis and wet suits are serious surfer Erin, 30, an attorney; clothing designer Vanessa, 33, the self-described "comic relief," who attended this year's Dinah Shore White Party in a banana suit; the tall, modelesque Jessica, 24, a human resources exec who had to relearn surfing skills after a serious car accident; and the tough-but-vulnerable Melissa, 30, an online advertising sales rep and extreme-sports enthusiast who's even happier on a snowboard.

Jessica and Melissa provide the requisite dyke drama for the season, alternately breaking up and having second thoughts. "Every time we filmed," Melissa points out, "we were either fighting or crying or making out."

Most of the cast members, however, are in relationships with non-Curl girls, including Erin and no-nonsense Michele. "Even if I was single, I wouldn't be in the dramas," says Michele, who was once The Advocate's photo editor. "I'd rather go surfing."

The show opens a bit cagily without really explaining how these particular women ended up surfing together. After a while, though, it doesn't matter. You begin to plunge with them into the water and their adventures (surf contests, fashion shows, dressing in drag).

The question is, Why surfing? Would softball or golf have been too obvious? "Based on anecdotal information, there are a lot of gay women who love to surf," says Logo's senior vice president and general manager Lisa Sherman.

The jury's out as to whether the show will encourage a new generation of gay Gidgets. "I think it's going to at least inspire some people to try [surfing]," says Vanessa. But Erin hopes that isn't true: 'There are so many surfers already!"

HERE!

The Lair

SEE IT: Fridays at 8 P.M. Eastern (currently airing)

THE PITCH: Two words--gay vampires. A homoerotic horror series featuring a handsome newspaper reporter (David Moretti) who, while investigating a seeming spate of serial killings, finds himself in the dangerous--yet alluring--queer coven of an evil bloodsucker [Shortbus's Peter Stickles).

WHY WELL BE WATCHING: Don't even pretend you don't watch Here's gay soap Dante's Cove, whose success no doubt inspired this show. And, um ... gay vampires? Plus porn star--cum--recording artist Colton Ford, who makes his mainstream acting debut as the heroic Sheriff Trout. "I'm sure some people wanted to bite him," Stickles says with a grin.

BRAVO

Hey, Paula!

SEE IT: Thursdays at 10 P.M. Eastern [premieres June 28)

THE PITCH: Paula Abdul, straight up in a fly-on-the wall reality series.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: Come on! Why did you watch Whitney Houston's show? For that special something only crazy can provide.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

SEE IT: Tuesdays at 9 P.M. Eastern (currently airing) (see sidebar)

Top Chef Season 3: Miami

SEE IT: Wednesdays at 10 P.M. Eastern (currently airing)

THE PITCH: Set in Miami this year, the show has a new batch of cooks competing for the title Top Chef while creating as much drama as possible in the kitchen.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING:

Ted Allen--who can also be heard this summer narrating PBS's wine 101 show Uncorked--returns as a judge. Will there be any "gay dishes"? Even Allen doesn't know what that means. "Evian and a pack of Marlboro Lights?" he muses. There will be at least one requisite gay contestant, according to Allen, "And he's cooked some darn good food, probably one of my favorite dishes, and he's good at mincing, good at sashaying, and he has elaborate hair."

BBC AMERICA

The Graham Norton Show

SEE IT: Saturdays at 10 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing) (see sidebar)

Hex

SEE IT: Saturdays at 9 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing)

THE PITCH: A British Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The series' sophomore season sees battle among murderous archangels, diabolical spirits, a succubus, a time-traveling telekinetic hero, and a teenage lesbian ghost.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: Lesbian ghost Thelma (Jemima Rooper) finds some Iovin' with fellow sapphic specter Maya (Laura Donnelly). Rooper also went for the ladies in The Black Dahlia and the excellent, yet-to-be-imported U.K. TV series Sugar Rush. According to Rooper, Thelma and Maya have a leg up on mere mortal girlfriends "because they can do it anywhere and nobody can see them."

Footballers' Wive$

SEE IT: Wednesdays at 9 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing)

THE PITCH: A U.K. Desperate Housewives with the added bonus of Beck-hamesque football players as the hubbies. This is the shows fifth and final season and it pulls out all the stops. Resident super bitch Tanya Turner (Zoe Lucker) finally meets her man-hungry match in magazine editor Eva de Wolffe, played by none other than Joan Collins.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING:

Season 3's controversial male-male sex scene is one-upped by this season's lesbian craziness involving a supermodel (Buffy's Phina Oruche) and her lover--personal assistant. Then there's gay-fave Lucker and the iconic Collins locking claws. "It does get quite nasty as you can imagine," Lucker laughs. "The fingernails come out, but none of us get injured. We shot by a swimming pool and could have gotten messy if we'd fallen in."

HBO

John From Cincinnati

SEE It: Sundays at 10 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing)

THE PITCH: A surreal dramedy revolving around three generations of Yosts--a legendary and dysfunctional pro surfer family--who all happen to be super hot.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: Matt Winston plays Barry Cunningham, the gay owner of the flophouse motel the clan calls home. Although Barry--whose backstory reveals he was molested in the motel as a child--bought the property to burn it down, creator David Milch (Deadwood) tell us, "He inherits these various disreputable characters and begins to establish a new connection with the past." And then there are the gorgeous surfers, some of whom are gay. "The appreciation of surfing is a sometimes homoerotic fixation," Milch adds. 'Very understandably."

Big Love

SEE IT: Mondays at 9 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing) (see sidebar)

Entourage

SEE IT: Sundays at 10 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing)

THE PITCH: Hot young Hollywood actor Vince Chase (Adrian Grenier), his three closest pals, and explosive fireball agent Ari (Jeremy Piven) continue their adventures.

WHY WELL BE WATCHING:

"Llo-o-y-y-yd!" Ari's harried gay assistant, played by out actor Rex Lee, has another standout episode in which "Lloyd has to leave the office for personal reasons," Lee hints. "It's a love-life thing."

NBC

Last Comic Standing

SEE IT: Wednesdays at 9 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (currently airing)

THE PITCH: The latest season of NBC's search for stand-up comedy's funniest undiscovered talent goes international with help from out comic and LCS contestant--turned--talent scout Ant. 'We went to England, Australia, Canada, and Singapore," he shares. "And in my opinion, the USA has nothing to worry about."

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: According to Ant, there was a huge LGBT turnout this year. "We probably saw 20 transgender comedians," he says.

LOGO

Cruising the Caribbean With Olivia

SEE IT: Tuesday, June 26, at 9 P.M. Eastern

THE PITCH: From the decks of an Olivia cruise ship, comedian Elvira Kurt hosts an original one-hour special showcasing lesbian comedians and musicians, including Suzanne Westenhoefer, Indigo Girls, Vickie Shaw, and Karen Williams.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: "It's like you get to be on the cruise without all the overpacking--and paying!" says Kurt. 'This is the cruise for shut-ins."

Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World

SEE IT: Tuesdays at 10 P.M. Eastern (premieres July 10)

THE PITCH: Q. Allan Brocka's hilarious 1999-2000 series of animated gay shorts finally gets the full TV treatment--in the same Toronto studio where Celebrity Death Hatch is shot

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: To help lampoon contemporary gay culture, Brocka tapped an A-list of queer (and queer-adjacent) voice talent, including Alan Cumming, Margaret Cho, Peter Paige, Wilson Cruz, and Lorna Luft. In the six-episode first season, long-term partners Rick and Steve are asked to help a lesbian couple--one of whom is Steve's nemesis--have a baby.

IFC

Indie Sex

SEE IT: July 12-15 at midnight Eastern/Pacific

THE PITCH: A four-part documentary series, with installments airing on four consecutive nights, about representations of sexuality in film from Lesli Klainberg and Lisa Ades, makers of I FC's Fabulous! The Story of Queer Cinema. Klainberg says making the miniseries was enlightening. "It was a very, very odd experience of having everyone in my office sitting around watching movies with sex in them all the time," she recalls. 'You got used to it--you'd walk by somebodys desk hear heavy breathing and didn't look twice."

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING:

Assuming we take the high road, we're in it for the amazing archival clips. See everything from ancient stag reels to scenes from modern queer classics like Kinsey, Shortbus, and Edge of Seventeen, plus interviews with the likes of John Cameron Mitchell, Heather Matarazzo, Peter Sarsgaard, Lee Daniels, Dita Von Teese, and Tatum O'Neal.

The Business

SEE IT: Sundays at 11:30 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (premieres August 5)

THE PITCH: A soft-core porn guru whose claim to fame is a Girls Gone Wild--style video series finds Judaism and goes "legit," turning his production house into a (slightly) more highbrow business.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: This year sees the shows first gay story line when a Parisian filmmaker pitches an English-language remake of Emmanuelle. 'The whole office goes horny," says creator Phil Price. "It's like Spanish fly in the water cooler, and one of the male characters, who's been quietly in lust with this nerdy male accountant with a rocking body, finally lunges at him and they're quietly together and flirting through the rest of the season."

The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman

SEE IT: Sundays at 11 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (premieres August 5)

THE PITCH: Our favorite Hollywood gal and her best bud, Tara, continue their quest for "some recognition, a purpose, and a hangover-proof martini."

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: To see what happens with Kit and Joan, the lesbian couple who last season moved in next door to Jackie. Plus, Tara and Jackie are mistaken for a gay couple and take advantage of the benefits of running with the lesbian crowd.

LIFETIME

State of Mind

SEE IT: Sundays at 9 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (premieres July 15)

THE PITCH: Created by psychotherapist and author Amy Bloom, this dramedy stars Lili Taylor as Anne Bellowes, a brilliant therapist saddled with her own issues. This is an interesting casting turn for Taylor, who may be best known to lesbians for playing murderous radical feminist Valerie Solanas in I Shot Andy Warhol, or perhaps for her role as roommate--turned--love interest to unstable-in-real-life Courtney Love in the 2001 indie lesbian flick Julie Johnson. "Anne wouldn't work with Courtney unless she's sober," Taylor muses, "and I don't know if Courtney has been sober. She's a pretty big addict, you know. You take the drugs and alcohol away and you probably have a pretty great person with a lot of feelings ... and probably a lot saner."

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: Inspired by Bloom's research while writing her book Normal: Transsexual CEOs, Crossdressing Cops, and Hermaphrodites With Attitude, episode 2 revolves around a male-identified transgender teen whose family pressures him to wear a bridesmaid dress at his sisters wedding. "That also made me think about how many women, regardless of sexual or gender identity, feel it's unbearable to appear in the bridesmaid dress," shares Bloom. "They feel like they're in drag."

SCI FI CHANNEL

Who Wants to be a Superhero?

SEE IT: Thursdays at 9 P.M. Eastern/Pacific [premieres July 26)

THE PITCH: Do-gooders vie to become America's next Spider-Man, Superman, or Wonder Woman--and star in their own comic book!--in the second season of this ubergeeky Sci Fi Channel reality series.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: A pair of out contestants--Orlando, Fla.'s Dan Williams, a.k.a. Parthenon, and Dallas's Paula Thomas, a.k.a. Whip-Snap--compete with their straight counterparts in Fear Factor--style challenges such as crawling through a tunnel infested with rats, snakes, and tarantulas and braving cages filled with bees. But the gayest reason to watch? 'Tight spandex," Williams laughs. "Let's just say it accentuates everything."

HGTV

HGTV Design Star

SEE IT: Sundays at 9 P.M. Eastern/ Pacific (premieres July 29)

THE PITCH: More home-design makeover challenges--can we ever get enough?--on the reality show that launched last years adorable winner, Color Splash star David Bromstad.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: According to insiders, two of the finalists are gay. Which ones?

A&E

The Two Coreys

SEE IT: Sundays at 10 P.M. Eastern/Pacific [premieres July 15)

THE PITCH: Corey "Feldog" Feldman and Corey "Haimster" Haim reunite at long last in this reality series that should land somewhere between guilty pleasure and car crash.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: Last time the two Coreys shared billing--in 1992's Blown Away--they gave gay fans a thrill by appearing naked. Todays sober and chubby Haim, whose notorious drug problem got so bad he sold his hair and a rotted tooth on eBay, is prime chaser material. And really, Feldog and Haimster? That's so gay.

SHOWTIME

Weeds

SEE IT: Mondays at 10 P.M. Eastern/Pacific (premieres August 13)

THE PITCH: Our favorite pot-dealing single mom, Mary-Louise Parker, continues her suburban adventures in the third season of this highly addictive, satirical comedy.

WHY WE'LL BE WATCHING: To see how budding lesbian adolescent Isabelle [Allie Grant) continues to drive mom Elizabeth Perkins crazy. And Justin Kirk is so easy on the eyes.

CURLS GIRLS PHOTOGRAPHED EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE ADVOCATE BY ERIC SCHWABEL

DA KATHY G. SHOW

"I actually think this is the gayest season yet," says Kathy Griffin of the third cycle of her Emmy-nominated Bravo reality series, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List [new season premiered June 5). And it's no hyperbole--viewers will observe Griffin romping at the Gay Adult Video Awards, hanging with Perez Hilton and Work Out's Jackie Warner, stalking Liza Minnelli, encountering Graham Norton, and hosting gay bingo in Dublin.

So what was hosting the Gay Adult Video Awards like? They act like it's the Nobel Peace Prize and they thank Mom and God, which is genius. The categories were like, Best Solo Performance and Best Threesome. I was actually with three nominees backstage, and they were literally crossing their fingers and, like, "This is the one I really want!" And the movies were like, The Dicks of Hazard.

Was there a swag bag? Are you kidding? It has more Astroglide than you have seen in your entire life. Two-headed dildos. Maybe a scented candle would have been nice?

Graham Norton told me he's now part of your gay posse. Let me tell you something--to walk down a London gay street with Graham Norton is basically to be physically assaulted. We were on Old Compton Street, and this is going to sound a little vicious, but the U.K. gays are a little rough. They don't have all their teeth and walk out of gay bars wearing tracksuits and drinking Guinness. It got so rowdy the police had to come, and at the end of the night he had to put a hood on, or zippy, as they call them, and run zigzags down the street.

And you performed in a prison this season?

I found out that [the central] L.A. county jail has a gay wing called K-11. I contact them, and I'm like, "I'm coming to do a free show--isn't that great?" I think I'm doing them a big fucking favor because I sold out Carnegie Hall the week before. And they were like, "You have to sell it to the sheriff." So I go and have an appointment on my day off with Sheriff [Lee] Baca and he fucking turns me down! He kept asking, 'What do you dot I was like, "I'm the fucking comedian!" He issued a statement saying I couldn't perform because it wouldn't maintain the level of integrity that they were trying to establish.

Clearly not a Suddenly Susan fan. Thank you. When it got out that he turned me down, I was contacted by Perryville State Penitentiary in Arizona--maximum security--and they were like, "Come on down and do whatever you want." One expression that I learned there is "GURD"--gay until release date. It's fascinating. The guys there don't think they're gay but have sex and blow each other.

Your gaydar must be more finely tuned than those satellite dishes in Contact. Any reading on Sanjaya? He seems like it. I was on a plane with Sanjaya last week and he caused such a sensation. The pilot made me take a picture of him with Sanjaya.

Three seasons in, are you finally crawling up the list to a C, or down to an E? I think I'm maintaining my D-list level, as illustrated by the fact the pilot didn't want a picture with me--but did ask me to take a picture of him and Sanjaya.

When you're in the same room with Margaret Cho, is it like two magnets pushing against each other? Yes, Margaret Cho and I can't be in the same room together, or everyone's head explodes. It's a scientific fact, like Mentos and Coca-Cola.

--Lawrence Ferber

GRAHAM MATTERS

GRAHAM NORTON SAYS HIS NEW BBC AMERICA TALK SHOW, The Graham Norton Show (Saturdays, 10 P.M. Eastern and Pacific), is a "slightly more grown-up" version of the ones that came before, including 2004's short-lived Comedy Central show The Graham Norton Effect.

"You know, I'm becoming an elder gentleman now," he says, "and I used to keep running up and down stairs, so there's less of that." Don't believe him--Norton is as ribald as ever, sharing raunchy chatter with guests like Joan Rivers, Elijah Wood, Dustin Hoffman, and Kim Cattrall, cheekily commenting on current affairs, and playing technology-enabled pranks on the general public.

What's the deal in the first episode with the hobbit lover who sent you a photo of himself shirtless and watching Elijah on his television? Funnily enough, the next week or a couple weeks afterwards when we had Orlando Bloom oil, [the hobbit lover] sent me more or less the exact same picture but with Orlando Bloom on his television screen. You kind of think, once you've been on the show and seen the people mock you, why would you do it again?

On the show you share wild clips that you find on the Internet--are any too crazy to include? Not too crazy, but we're always like, "Is that funny or not?" Like a thing you would laugh about at the office but you don't want to show to an audience because the audience would just go "ick." We had [found a video of] a guy trying to light his farts, and then he just shit himself--which in the office would be hilarious. When you show it to a studio audience they just to, "Eww, it's a man shitting himself. That's not funny. Why have you shown us that?"

What is the show's gayest moment this season? We do have a sort of beefcake disco dancing competition, and if we don't like them they fall through a trap door. It's fun to [punish] people with better bodies than me.

Is there anyone you want on the show so you can flirt with them? I don't flirt with guests because it's, you know, inappropriate somehow. But you know who I would love to flirt with is George Eads from CSI. I could definitely put some Rohypnol in his drink.--L.F.

POLYGAMY IS BACK

HBO's controversial series Big Love returns--new and improved-with even more lady loving

Utah's favorite polygamous Mormon fundamentalist (Bill Paxton) and his three wives (Chloe Sevigny, Jeanne Tripplehorn, and Ginnifer Goodwin) are back for season 2 of HBO's hit series Big Love. Created by gay couple Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer--who have been strictly monogamous for 16 years running--the show's premiere season last year had a dash of lesbian and gay subtext, and we can expect the same this go-round. The repressed Alby Grant, who was tempted to indulge in a same-sex motel room hookup, will actually "carry through on some of his confusion," Scheffer reveals. And Olsen teases, "At one point in the season Rhonda comes to suspect that Heather's intentions with Sarah go deeper than what's kosher."

The two promise that this season will turn up the heat dramatically. Expect an increasing power struggle between the wives and more of "Bill's moral dilemma as a polygamist." All of which will continue to shape our notions about Mormons.

Such as ... well, that they're all hot. (Poor Mitt Romney has been accused of being too hot to be a presidential candidate.)

"Yeah," Olsen counters, "if you look at some of the 90-year-old elders running the church, you might rethink your stance on that."--L.F.

COOKING WITH SASS

Paul McCullough represents our team in the Food Network's version of American Idol By Will Doig

WHEN PAUL MCCULLOUGH MET HIS BOYFRIEND, Jeremy, 10 years ago, cooking was not part of the seduction. On one of their first dates, McCullough tried to make dinner using a new spice someone had given him and ended up with "the nastiest driest chicken I'd ever cooked." To court Jeremy, he says, he was forced to resort to his "cute butt."

This summer watch McCullough attempt to woo a panel of judges on season 3 of The Next Food Network Star (Sundays at 9 P.M. Eastern and Pacific)--with zero reliance on his ass. In typical format, the contestants are run through a gauntlet of challenges that test their culinary skills and camera-ready perkiness; the winner gets his own show. McCullough was well prepared. He's appeared on USA Network's Before & After'noon, and boasts that one judge, Food Network marketing vice president Susie Fogelson, told him after the first elimination that he had the best personality on the show. "I just said to myself, Well, damn, that's what this is all about."

Having a sparkling personality is part of his job. With his catering company, Paul's Kitchen, McCullough has served Tom Hanks, Reese Witherspoon, Beyonce, and the cast of Will & Grace. It's a long stride from his first cooking job, which he took on a whim. "My desire to eat and pay my rent was more important to me than being a struggling actor," says McCullough. "So I moved to Los Angeles in '94 and made dinner for a guy I was dating. He got a call from this doctor looking for a chef. I met him and was hired on the spot."

Word spread, and McCullough soon had other gigs. Before long he found himself whipping up dinner for Brooke Shields and seven of her friends, overseeing after-parties at the Screen Actors Guild Awards, and catering a midnight buffet for the Bolshoi Ballet.

On The Next Food Network Star McCullough's oversize personality can at times be overwhelming. But he's also playing the role of "resident gay guy," which every reality show seems to require. This necessitates a certain flamboyance and a willingness to stand apart. For instance, sticking two grooms on top of a heterosexual couple's wedding cake. But touchingly, McCullough says he ended up bonding with fellow contestant Josh "JAG" Garcia, a young ex-marine whom one might expect to represent the picture of homophobia. But like McCullough, he "was kind of an outsider. He said to me, 'I feel like I don't belong to any clique here,' and so I was like, Well, how about you and me start a clique?"

And while he can't say whether he won or lost (the episodes were taped earlier this year), McCullough does let slip. "You don't necessarily have to win a reality show to become successful from it. Just look at Jennifer Hudson."

FLAMING BRUCE

Bruce Campbell is the man every zombie fears--and is also a classic slice of beefcake. He took a few minutes from his new series, Burn Notice, to give his gay fans some sugar

Say the name "Bruce Campbell" at a horror and sci-fi convention and you're likely to be trampled by a swarm of gay boys wing to get a glimpse of that famous chin. Best known as Ash, the zombie-killing antihero in director Sam Raimi's Evil Dead movies, Campbell has also caught our eye on gay faves Ellen and Xena. Next up, Campbell plays "a washed-up ex-Navy SEAL" in USA Network's original series Bum Notice (premiering June 28 at 10 P.M. Eastern and Pacific)

Bruce, how familiar are you with your gay fan base? I don't really hear from gay fans that much--even when I kissed a guy on [Showtime's] Beggars and Choosers. Perhaps they're just not announcing themselves as gay when I meet them. But I have heard that a gay bar in San Francisco shows Army of Darkness a lot. It makes sense--it was my "gayest" performance.

Could Ash take out the Bush administration? Or are they even more powerful than the Evil Dead? Ash would need an army of Deadites to storm the White House gates, but the Bush administration is already employing them all, so no luck there.

You played a geriatric Elvis in Bubba Ho-tep. Given the opportunity, would you rather play the last years of Judy Garland, Bette Davis, or Paul Lynde?

Paul Lynde. hands down. I always thought he was really funny. I'm worried that I couldn't pull off his distinctive laugh, though, so I may have to default to old Bette Davis. (But was she ever young?)

In your cameos in Spider-Man 2 and 3, one might say that your obnoxious characters made Tobey Maguire your bitch. How hot was that? Hotter than a Phoenix parking lot in July. Everyone needs a bitch, and mine wears spandex!

You were on Ellen during that tumultuous season. What do you remember most about Ellen DeGeneres's coming-out? I thought it was all really cool, and I was honored to be a small part of it. During it all, Ellen was not only professional but really, really brave. She had a lot to lose. It looks like she came out of it all just fine and is in a good place now.

Your dream gay role? To play a gay man reincarnated as a lesbian so he'd only be attracted to women.

--Lawrence Ferber

PUT DOWN THE REMOTE

When you're not watching TV, you can read about it with new books that explore the idiot box's transformative power By Regina Marler

IF YOU'VE BEEN dividing your summer between Project Runway, SpongeBob reruns, and Lost: The Complete Second Season, drop the remote and step away from the box. You need the written word.

South Park and Philosophy: You Know, I Learned Something Today, edited by Robert Arp, and Christopher Pullen's Documenting Gay Men: Identity and Performance in Reality Television and Documentary Film will make the transition easy.

You may not think that the farts, blasphemy, and racial humor of South Park would lend themselves to philosophical discussion, but South Park and Philosophy is a playful, genuine exploration of the philosophical concepts embodied in the show. Contributors explore issues such as whether it's OK to laugh at South Park, how the show satirizes inconsistent moral beliefs, and the epistemological crisis Kyle is thrust into when he realizes the Tooth Fairy isn't real--and that therefore maybe he isn't real either.

The book is sure to give your right brain some new insight into South Park, but it's also a readable, funny introduction to philosophy. The writers explain each school of thought in easily digestible essays that draw on most of the heavy hitters of the Western tradition, including Socrates, Descartes, Mill, and Kant. You can picture Socrates laughing at South Park. Kant, never.

Documenting Gay Men is a reminder of how amazingly far we have come since the early 1970s. when a few brave souls began to talk openly about their gay lives and loves on film. This isn't a history of oppression or alienation but of their opposite: the power of visibility. From Silverlake Life to Survivor to Boy Meets Boy, representations of "real" gay men on television have chipped away at America's preconceptions. Highlights include a chapter on MTV's The Real World, describing the impact that stereotype-shattering Pedro Zamora--a handsome, "well-adjusted," nonwhite gay man with AIDS--had on young viewers, plus the ongoing influence of Jon Murray, the shows gay cocreator.