Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, by Marilee G. Adams, Book, 2004, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, $16.95.

Author and speaker Denis Waitley once wrote, "There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them." If you believe in the latter, you will like Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work by Marilee G. Adams.

Adams is founder and president of the Inquiry Institute, a consultancy and knowledge center for leadership, team, and organizational effectiveness. She is the originator of the QuestionThinking System, an inquiry and self-management methodology. Adams is a psychotherapist and organizational consultant with clients ranging from individuals to Fortune 500 companies.

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is divided into two parts: a story and a workbook. Written as a fable, the first part introduces you to the seven tools. The second part is a workbook to help you participate in your own learning by asking how you can apply the tools.

The main character of the fable, Ben Knight, is at a crossroads. He has been hired by Alexa Harte, a woman he had worked with before, to save Qtec, a company that most Wall Street naysayers predict will fold before the year is out.

The problem is that Ben's "I have all the answers" attitude that worked so well before is no longer giving him the results he wants. In fact, everything is working against him to the point that he now feels he has to resign for the company to have any chance of surviving. That isn't the only fly in his ointment. His second marriage of eight months is quickly unraveling.

To the say the least, Ben is feeling pretty sorry for himself. Offering his resignation to Alexa results in three unexpected responses: an introduction, a choice, and a prediction. Joseph, who bills himself as an inquiry coach, introduces Ben to the QuestionThinking System. Ben's choice is to do the same old same old or make a commitment to change how he approaches things. The prediction concerns what Alexa thinks the outcome will be.

Hope and curiosity (he's not fired yet) mingled with some skepticism prompt Ben to start a journey that will transform his life by learning how to change his thinking, actions, and results by asking smart intentional questions.

Throughout the story, Joseph, the inquiry coach, assists Ben to learn the seven tools. One of them is "Putting the Power of Questions to Work." Notice that the first five letters of the word "question" spell "quest," which the dictionary defines as "search or pursuit made in order to find or obtain something." There are two types of questions, Internal and External.

In the story, Ben starts to change once he realizes that his failure to ask is playing a big role in the poor results he is getting. How you see things yourself will determine the direction of the questions you ask others. What is the ratio of questions you ask to statements you make?

Another tool is the Choice Map. For me, it is the one that makes the QuestionThinking System work. Choice Map is a visual summary of the Learner-Judger mindsets and a reminder that at any point, you can ask different questions.

In the story, Ben uses the Choice Map as a core guide that helps him become aware of the questions he's asking, how they affect his actions, and how they influence his results.

Click here to to download a free copy of the Choice Map. I have laminated my copy and placed it under the glass of my table to consistently remind me how empowered I am when I take the Learner path.

Pros

Writing complex ideas as a fable is, in my opinion, the best way to inspire curiosity about how the methods and techniques fit into your own life. The techniques and methodology in the book are based on sound philosophies and principles: emotional intelligence, appreciative inquiry, constructionist principle and positive psychology. The methods and techniques are simple and yet they are not a quick fix formula. It takes a real commitment to create positive transformation.

Questioning is a skill rarely taught in school, but doing it well--by asking the right questions of the right people--can radically transform attitudes, actions, and results. This book fills some of this void.

The Choice Map is the key ingredient in the author's system. It helps people visually set new strategies around a choice point. The map demonstrates that everyone has a choice in every situation, even if it is not immediately apparent. At any point, you can switch from a judger mentality by using a variety of switching questions to redirect you on the learner path.

Cons

Most fables have a good ending, as does the one in this book. But life doesn't always give you what you want, no matter how proactive you are. I wish there was an example of someone taking the learning path to questions related to negative outcomes.

Although there are at least 100 questions throughout the book, I would like to see a chapter on how to construct good questions. A summary of the art of asking good questions would be useful for me.

Recommendation

Success is all about choices we make in both work and life, and asking good questions is a foundation for it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes observed, "We all need an education in the obvious." This is what Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is all about, an education in the obvious. I think it should be on everyone's reading list.

Review by Mireille Massue

Product Ratings

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Overall rating  *** 1/2