Certified piece of suck: doo-doo skatepark construction.HOSOI GOT OUT, transitions are in, and things are looking up, right? Wrong. Skatepark designs are getting so bad these days that kids want to get hurt. Anything to avoid riding these misguided mounds. The tide has yet to turn and we're still operating at a roughly 70/30 dook to decent skatepark ratio. We're not just being negatoris for no reason. We call 'em like we see 'em. The good ones deserve praise, the poor ones deserve punishment. There's no reason they can't be done right. Behold the creme de la mierda. Hold your nose ... The crew arrives, foaming at the mouth, ready to ride, sees this nonsense, and they're moping at Taco Bell Taco Bell Corp., a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc., is a Mexican-style quick service restaurant chain based in Irvine, California, United States. The restaurant has locations primarily in the United States and Canada, but also operates outlets in several other markets. within the hour. "Hey, let's rob a bank." [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Still got those 65mm Kryptos? You're gonna need them. This is a new park by the way. It's no wonder kids start drinking. No joy in Crudville tonight [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Roll the dice on a shin splice? The teeter-tot metal edge and wheel-grabbing asphalt make this unskatable. Like you'd want to [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] No rapid roll-in. No flip-to-fakie fun. It just lurks in the corner like a bad stench. Its a monument to wasted space and concrete [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Some theologists speculate that Heaven and Hell are right here on Earth. See for yourself. Say a prayer for Owen For Owen is a poem by Stephen King first published in the 1985 short story and poetry collection Skeleton Crew. The thirty-four line free verse poem consists of eleven unrhymed, unmetered verse paragraphs. Weany [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Find it on the street, you're stoked stoked adj. Slang 1. Exhilarated or excited. 2. Being or feeling high or intoxicated, especially from a drug. . Being forced to skate this clunker clunk·er n. Informal 1. A decrepit machine, especially an old car; a rattletrap. 2. A failure; a flop. everyday, you're bummin' [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Nice fence. That thing is four Shecklers high. It's like skating in prison. This ain't Oz, folks. Are you game for the mini-ramp fly-out to handrail impalement im·pale also em·pale tr.v. im·paled, im·pal·ing, im·pales 1. a. To pierce with a sharp stake or point. b. To torture or kill by impaling. 2. ? Where's Bam now? [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Inoperative Void; not active; ineffectual. The term inoperative is commonly used to indicate that some force, such as a statute or contract, is no longer in effect and legally binding upon the persons who were to be, or had been, affected by it. brain tumors in the heads of the designers is the only logical explanation for this kinked and coped ledge. Tax-payer funded, public land, damaged goods DAMAGED GOODS. In the language of the customs, are goods subject to duties, which have received some injury either in the voyage home, or while bonded in warehouses. See Abatement, merc. law. . Try again ... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Absurdicon--heinously flubbed hubba [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Hips should be fun, not a math problem [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] NOT HOT SPOT IF YOU'RE LIKE US, you probably figure that it would take a lot, a lot, for you to quit skating. If there was anything in this world that would do it, it would probably be this skatepark. Eric Smith and Eric Bertrand shot this doozy doo·zy or doo·zie n. pl. doo·zies Slang Something extraordinary or bizarre: "Among the delicious names taken by, or given to, minor political parties in the United States . . . in Gilman, WI. Somebody should go to jail for this. ALL RIGHT NOW, from here it's up to you. It's your responsibility to send in those C.P.O.S. Don't goon this. Think of it as your duty. Digital images can be sent to the website at 300dpi, 4 inches wide (nothing smaller). Photos and slides go to the mag. Include your name, park location and the contractors' names if you've got them. We'll help eradicate these leeches. Expose the suckedry! |
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