Celebrity Big Brother: NICOLA METHVEN'S VERDICT - Boring body beautifuls.

Byline: NICOLA METHVEN

ANOTHER day, another opportunity for Caprice and Jeremy to show off their beautiful bodies (and boring minds).

Spying that Caprice was a bit worse for wear, Jeremy offered to teach her to play chess. Realising that after a few glasses of wine her mental capacity wasn't up to it, she declined.

But quick as a flash he came up with a new idea - Strip Chess. "Either way you're a winner," he said, modestly assuming she'd love to see him stripped off.

Sadly, even this concept was too much for her to grasp.

But then she had her own idea - a fashion show in her underwear? Ker-ching! Yet another McCririck theory proven.

Bez spent hours bouncing off the walls, worrying that he is going to "die of boredom". In the end he adopted his traditional survival method - getting slaughtered.

This proved difficult because of the alcohol rations until he had a brainwave - he could nick dull Jezza's supply! "He'll only drink one 'cos he doesn't like to let go," he reasoned craftily. Result.

CAPTION(S):

WINE: Caprice