Carpet baggers.

TWS, which apparently stands for The World of Seniors, had another teary award show of some sort at the prestigious Henry Fonda Memorial Theatre.

The mirage-like scene, which featured many of the activities best and brightest, smelled and looked reminiscent of the mortuary when they trotted and rolled out, in various fashions, some frozen industry ancients, These cryogenically reactivated living pillars of the business were backed by a suspect sonic dirge provided by samples of such musical specimens as Bruce Springsteen, '70s Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, Steve Miller and Heart. What can be said about this audio idiocy other than that big media has rather conservative musical taste? Some of the higher and lower moments of the evening included Lance Mountain dutifully reading Stacy Peralta's "I really wanted to be here to introduce Caballero" speech, Big Black hauling Johnson off the podium, Steve Van Doren presenting Stevie with custom gold leather half Cabs (seriously), Satori One in a sari hood doing stage twirlies, George "Silver Bones" Powell gifting Caballero with "the only board missing from his collection," the Carroll brothers on point, as always, Larry Balma strapping on a Steviecaster guitar, Andy Mac winning his sixth in a row (congrats!), Ben Schroeder and Keith Cochrane sharing with the audience how much they appreciate disliking one another, Jason Ellis having to be restrained by Mic-E Reyes and four other friends after some disrespectful grunt tried to maddog, everybody and anybody trying to give their own awards to a deserving Danny Way, the mighty backfiring Volcum bus, Pancho Moler on the mack, and Don Bostick rather bizarrely giving Double D Duncan a surfboard. Head-scratchers all around, no?