Careful with that ax, Eugene heroes.

Byline: The Register-Guard

Hendrix. Slash. Page. Clapton. Santana.

Those fools ain't got nothin' on Team Best of ...

With our electric guitar in hand, we can shred "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns N' Roses with an accuracy of 97 percent.

Our licks would melt the top hat off Slash. We make rock-on hand gestures and stick out our tongues with flair that puts Eddie Van Halen to shame. We guzzle brews better than Keith Richards and Sid Vicious put together.

But here's where we must divulge our little secret: Our guitar is only electric in the sense that it's plugged in to a video game console.

We don't know how to play a musical instrument. We do know how to play Guitar Hero II. For the non-video game inclined, here's the gist of the game:

Played on XBox 360 or Play- Station, gamers are armed with a plastic guitar that has a strum bar and colored buttons. Players select a song and choose their skill level, from easy to expert.

Then, the song plays while the screen shows which colored button the player must simul- taneously push on the guitar. A missed note lowers one's score and accuracy score.

Better you just try it.

Luckily, there's a place to let your inner punk out: the Jackalope Lounge, where each Monday the bar stages a free tournament and hands out swag to the most righteous rocker at every skill level.

On a recent Monday, the tournament was on a one-week hiatus, but a group of nearly 20 stuck around anyway and just, you know man, jammed. Pairs of two tackled such tracks as "Sweet Cherry Pie" and "Free Bird."

Then, two mojitos in, it was time for Team Best of ... to shred some face.

As our song loaded, the game espoused such wisdom as: "You only need one person in the band with a mohawk."

So true. But a little less talk and a little more rock.

We stepped up and blasted the chords of "Carry on Way- ward Son." We stood back to back, axes raised triumphantly.

Unfortunately, as this was our first time, we wound up playing more like Donny Osmond than Kansas guitar god Kerry Livgren.

We also forgot to blink the whole time as we tried to focus our attention on the quickly changing screen, a move that left us more bleary-eyed than Pete Townshend after a hard night of partying circa 1970.

Fortunately, the learning curve is much faster than for a regular guitar, and by the end of the night (and despite additional drinks) we were executing fearsome frets in the "medium" skill level.

Rock on.

Best of ... has got a greatest hits album that makes `Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band' look like a joke. Check out the archives on record at www .registerguard.com/bestof.

BEST PLACE TO BE

A GUITAR HERO

Jackalope Lounge

What: Potential glory (and prizes) can be had by all-comers in an XBox 360 Guitar Hero II tournament every Monday

Where: 453 Willamette St.

When: 8 p.m. to midnight