Car seat catechism: how questions from a curious toddler could spark some deep philosophical thoughts.What's that? I'm buckling buckling Mode of failure under compression of a structural component that is thin (see shell structure) or much longer than wide (e.g., post, column, leg bone). Leonhard Euler first worked out in 1757 the theory of why such members buckle. my son into his car seat the other morning when he points to the tool used to scrape See scraping. snow off the windshield. "It's an ice scraper An ice scraper is a handheld tool for removing frost, ice, and snow from windows, usually on automobiles. Most basic scrapers have a plastic blade and handle, though some have blades made out of metal. , sweetheart." Why? "So we can scrape the ice off the windshield." Why? "So we can see when we drive." Why? "So we don't crash." Why? "Because we don't want to die." Why? What am I supposed to tell the kid? Because we value our lives? I know what his reply will be: Why? Because they are a gift. Why? Um, because life is sacred. Why? I like to think I have a good education and am respectably literate on matters of meaning and religion, but my 2-year-old son reminds me that my Jesuit liberal arts liberal arts, term originally used to designate the arts or studies suited to freemen. It was applied in the Middle Ages to seven branches of learning, the trivium of grammar, logic, and rhetoric, and the quadrivium of arithmetic, geometry, astronomy, and music. degree only afforded me three theology and three philosophy classes. Forget the birthing or child development classes. Parents should get advanced philosophy degrees. As the mother of a curious toddler, I realize I am ever only five whys away from an ontological on·to·log·i·cal adj. 1. Of or relating to ontology. 2. Of or relating to essence or the nature of being. 3. crisis. The constant questioning, though, does imbue im·bue tr.v. im·bued, im·bu·ing, im·bues 1. To inspire or influence thoroughly; pervade: work imbued with the revolutionary spirit. See Synonyms at charge. 2. life with a certain crackling crack·ling n. 1. The production of a succession of slight sharp snapping noises. 2. cracklings The crisp bits that remain after rendering fat from meat or frying or roasting the skin, especially of a pig or a goose. awe. It burns through this cloud created by the frittering details of adulthood. My son is unencumbered Unencumbered Property that is not subject to any creditor claims or liens. Notes: For example, if a house is owned free and clear (meaning the owner owes no mortgage to anyone), it is unencumbered. with practical concerns. Food is provided, a warm bed. He is bathed, dressed--he doesn't even have to worry about finding a bathroom. So there is space in his elastic mind to entertain the big questions. Why do we say good morning to the newsstand clerk? "Because God is there." Why? Why would a sharp knife hurt? "Because the body is frail." Why? "Because all things are passing." Why? A fresh look on life As his interpreter and guide, I find that each day is an open field for wonder and discovery. At any moment I might be pressed to explain the root value of sharing or the inherent need of the human body for food. I am continually forced to justify my vision of reality. The toddler's uncluttered gaze upon his new world snaps me out of the trodden trod·den v. A past participle of tread. trodden Verb a past participle of tread and typical. It forces spiritual engagement on me like a splash of cold water. There was a time, maybe in high school, maybe those late wine-fueled nights in college, when the beauty and intensity of life was within arms' reach. Don't you remember? You could taste it. You could feel yourself living. As life wears on, particularly when many of the big issues are resolved--career chosen, friends made, life partner found--we get complacent com·pla·cent adj. 1. Contented to a fault; self-satisfied and unconcerned: He had become complacent after years of success. 2. Eager to please; complaisant. . When life gets normal the openings for big questions don't present themselves as much as they once did. A few months after that first full-time job starts, we stop staying up into the wee hours when conversations turn metaphysical met·a·phys·i·cal adj. 1. Of or relating to metaphysics. 2. Based on speculative or abstract reasoning. 3. Highly abstract or theoretical; abstruse. 4. a. Immaterial; incorporeal. . Once we have a good decade under our belts with our best friends, we know where they stand on most matters. There is no need to keep taking their temperature on the meaning of life. We're more likely to discuss parents or cooking or funny stories. There comes a time when it's simply not polite to discuss politics or religion. It becomes an imposition. A bit too much, really, for a casual dinner. A mantra mantra (măn`trə, mŭn–), in Hinduism and Buddhism, mystic words used in ritual and meditation. A mantra is believed to be the sound form of reality, having the power to bring into being the reality it represents. of whys The company of this little person with no understanding for the appropriate conversational topics forces me to take a stab at big questions again. His wonder stirs my own, much the way guiding tourists reminds you why you love your city. With my 3-foot companion repeating his mantra of inquiry, I am forced to appreciate the wonder of each moment--to exist in life, not in to-do lists and chores. As I help him negotiate his relationship to the world, I recall mine and remember what I want it to be. The same morning we went from ice scrapers to the value of human life, my son asked if his friend's mother went to work during the day. "Yes, she works downtown." And the friend's other mother? "No, she goes to school." Why? "Because she's studying to become a rabbi." Why? "Because she wants to share God with people." Why? "Because God is good." Why? "Because God is what created and energizes everything." Why? "Look man, I was an urban studies major. I can tell you why neighborhoods succeed or fail, but that's my limit!" The ultimate deadline For years I've dealt in concrete sentences. I've written about crime and politics. Sure the journalism books say the big questions are who, what, where, when, how, and why, but the fact is that on deadline and in 600 words we usually only get to the first four. Why is for the philosophers, psychologists, and priests. And children, I'm learning. If you spend enough time with a toddler, if you really step into their guileless, weird little world, everything is again filled with the glimmer of creation. By EILEEN MARKEY, a contributing editor A contributing editor is a magazine job title that varies in responsibilities. Most often, a contributing editor is a freelancer who has proven ability and readership draw. of BustedHalo.com, an online magazine for spiritual seekers in their 20s and 30s. This essay is reprinted with permission from BustedHalo.com. |
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