Candy, flowers are OK for Valentines' Day but....

One way to show your true feelings to that special lady this Valentine's Day is by giving her a $8,225 Barry Kieselstein gold heart inlaid with diamonds from Neiman Marcus.

A little pricey? Have Elizabeth Caldwell, president of Total Recall Ltd. in Beverly Hills, write an original love poem in gold lettering on parchment for you and send it to that someone special.

To make him light up, there's always the glow-in-the-dark boxer shorts that retail for about $15 at Boxer Bay in the Beverly Center.

Nationwide, retailers sold some $730 million worth of Valentine's Day gifts, excluding candy and flowers, in 1992, says Ronnye Peace, a spokeswoman for Kansas City, Mo.-based Hallmark Cards Inc.

Valentine's Day also means big business for some local retailers, such as Boxer Bay, with sales during this holiday ranking right up there with Christmas and Father's Day, says Boxer Bay Manager David Miller.

As of press time, Miller was predicting sales this Valentine's Day would be stronger than last year's. Backing this belief, he has stocked Boxer Bay with a hearty portion of Valentine-oriented merchandise.

While Boxer Bay's merchandise for lovers is relatively inexpensive, some L.A. retailers have stocked Valentine's gifts that are indeed extravagant. Caldwell of Total Recall, a personal holiday planning and reminding service, planned a weekend trip for two to Cologne, Germany, for one of her clients. Once there, Caldwell's client can buy cologne for his Valentine. Caldwell included a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne and two dozen roses for the couple's hotel room. Total cost: $10,000. Obviously, the recession isn't affecting all L.A. lovers equally. Caldwell reports that she has also sold three $5,000 bronze cherub statues sculpted by L.A.-based artists. The cherubs resemble the mythological love god Cupid, Caldwell explains.

For those with good hearts but smaller pocketbooks, she also carries cherubs that can be hung on walls. They go for between $50 and $100 each.

Gentlemen can adorn their loved ones with necklaces that Caldwell, herself an artisan, makes out of pearls and preserved, hardened rosebuds strung on a satin ribbon. These sell for about $50 apiece.

For one client, Caldwell embellished a black denim women's suit with fake gold hearts and tassels, selling the suit for $1,500.

Caldwell charges extra for a card, wrapping, delivery and delivery of the gifts. The fee is often 25 percent of the gift's actual price.

Boxer Bay, meanwhile, sells special Valentine silk boxer shorts for $26. One pair is covered with a print of champagne glasses, hearts, candy, cupids, lobster dinners and hors d'oeuvre trays. Other boxers have "P.S. I love you" written all over them and stick figures holding hands.

Then there's your basic Valentine boxer: red silk covered with dark red hearts. Some of the cotton boxers glow in the dark. Those worried about dangerous short-circuits can relax. These shorts are lit via fluorescent paint, not electricity. If the shorts are held up to a light source and then taken into the dark, you can read the imprints. "Hot" is illumined all over one pair of shorts. Another pair features glowing imprints of the phrase "love and kisses." As for outer wear, Boxer Bay sells Valentine ties, including a thoroughly tacky "Isle of Love" print. On the heart-shaped Isle of Love tie (which has an arrow sticking through it), there is a "sea of dreams," "passion pits," "fall hard falls," "blind-date bluffs," "Cupid point" and "rebound reefs." All this is printed on a burgundy "ocean of love" background.

Another tacky tie has a print depicting those little sugar heart candies that have been popular exchange items among grade-school friends for decades. The messages on the tie are the same silly little sayings that have been featured on the candies -- "be mine," "say yes," "kiss kiss," "I've got to have you."

One tie pattern available at Boxer Bay that is a little more respectable has pictures of cowboy boots with hearts on them. All the ties retail for $27.50 apiece.

Some Valentine gifts for women are a bit more expensive than glow-in-the-dark boxer shorts or ties. OK, maybe a lot more expensive. Giorgio Beverly Hills is selling a red, heart-shaped crystal handbag with gold chain for $1,250, says boutique Manager Jo Ann Bolduc.

At Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills, a gentlemen can buy his lady a black-satin, heart-shaped evening bag with gold chain shoulder strap for a bit over $200, says Fashion Director Ginny Sydorick. Saks also sells gold-plated heart-shaped key chains for $75 each and 18-karat gold-plated, heart-shaped earrings for $245 a pair.

Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills is selling Lalique clear-crystal boxes, again in the shape of a heart, for $395 each. Red-and-blue ones retail for $425.

Rising up into another price category, Barry Kieselstein-Cord St. Bart's 18-karat gold hearts with matte finishes and hung on silk cords start at $2,800 -- $8,225 if you want diamonds added, says Neiman Marcus spokeswoman Beverly Morgan.

For those who believe Valentine's Day is more romantic aboard ship, Century City-based Princess Cruises is holding a Love Boat National Holiday on nine boats. Four thousand couples are expected to renew their marriage vows with the chaplains on board. Sea-faring lovers can also participate in a scavenger hunt with romance-oriented clues and participate in a romantic-poetry-writing contest, says Princess Cruises spokeswoman Julie Benson.