Can we chalk one up for teachers?

Byline: Stuart Maconie

It's exam season, so cue another bout of teacherbashing from the usual suspects in politics and certain papers.

Over the last few days there's been lots of tough talk from whoever is Education Secretary this week about "complacent teachers", the need for snap Ofsted inspections and sending all heads to special reprogramming camps in the Mendips where they will be forced to confess their failings and put to work in paddy fields till they see the error of their ways.

Okay, I made the last one up but it must be on some Whitehall agenda somewhere. Perhaps because everyone remembers some soul-destroying afternoon spent rotelearning the principal exports of Belize, something vaguely anti-teacher resides deep within all of us.

Even teachers. When I was briefly Skelmersdale's college youngest Sociology lecturer, I knew that my youth had ended the first time that I said "You can now turn over your papers and begin..." I had gone over to the Dark Side.

Maybe that's why politicians snarl about failing schools in a way they wouldn't dream about other public services. When did you last hear about "complacent chief constables" or "failing select committees"?

No, teachers are the softest of soft targets and easily identified by the leather patches on their elbows.

But that doesn't mean they should be pilloried like they are, with some new Maoist diktat landing on their desk every week. It was a head teacher this week who provided the savviest comment on this insane state of affairs.

Ben Warren of Summerhill School, West Mids, wondered what the government would have to say about the Premiership if they used the same logic that they do when analysing schools.

"This season half the teams in the league finished in the lower half of the table.

"This is unacceptable. To improve matters next season the government has set targets. Every team must reach the expected standard and therefore must finish in a mid-table or higher position."

And the teachers of Derby and Reading, like the players - although their wage packets will soften the blow - will suffer another season of daft abuse from armchair pundits who've never stood in front of a classroom.

"Teachers are the soft targets, identified by leather patches on their elbows"