Can't we all just get along? Reaching detente in the age of corporate diversity requires reaching across enemy lines of race and gender. (Book Excerpt).

A HUSH FELL OVER THE ROOM AS ONE BY ONE, NINE OUT OF THE 10 men raised their hands. The moment was both ludicrous and incredibly real as the men, all of whom were African American and participants in the Center for Creative Leadership's (CCL) African American Leadership Program, admitted they gave job appraisals to their white, female direct reports only with the door ajar. They said they weren't willing to take any chances their behaviors would be misread--either by the women or by others passing the office.

We have found this phenomenon to be a common one. One of the stereotypes that haunts African American leaders is the perception of black men as sexual predators. Johnson McDaniel, a manager at a major chemical company, says one of the burdens that a black man carries is the perception that "I'm a black male, and gee whiz, I love every white woman."

Because race and gender are unchangeable aspects of one's identity, their impact on work experiences depends to a great degree on the perceptions and reactions of others. They affect African Americans' opportunities to develop strong corporate relationships and to receive equity in the workplace.

WHAT YOU AS AFRICAN AMERICANS CAN DO

* Cultivate your trust. Do things that establish and build trust between and among groups--whether racial, gender, or both. This includes establishing open and honest dialogue with others, respecting each other's private areas, and offering the benefit of the doubt. We admit, though, that this dialogue has to be seasoned with wisdom. Fear, or the lack of being in a safe haven, has been one of the reasons African Americans are reticent to share their private world. To create deeply trusting relationships, people need to go slowly, respecting each other's private areas until each person involved is willing to open them.

An important component of building trust is being willing to give others the benefit of the doubt. We suggest, that you be willing to trust or to believe that which is positive until you are proved wrong. This can affect how you interpret people's behaviors and thus how you respond to them.

* Demand equitable treatment and enforce it for others. We suggest that you look at the work patterns in your department and notice whether any particular group, in this case any racial or gender group, is being treated in a systematically different way from the majority group. For example, are qualified black people being overlooked for particular assignments in favor of those less qualified? Are female peers consistently asked to take notes at meetings when administrative assistants are not present? If this is the case, stand up for yourself and others and demand equitable treatment.

* Understand how your behaviors are perceived. An example of such an understanding might be the decision by some black men to close their doors but open their internal office blinds (if available) when they provide women with performance appraisals.

Although you may not be able to manage every perception, by understanding how others interpret particular behaviors you have the opportunity to anticipate the consequences and determine whether you are willing to take them.

* Find trusted agents. Find people you trust in the dominant groups (race or gender) and periodically check in with them about your issues, behaviors, and perceptions. It is often difficult to know or understand how others may interpret your behaviors.

However, if you have one or more people you can trust in those other groups, they may be able to help you see how people like themselves may perceive and interpret your behaviors. Be willing to reciprocate the effort of your trusted agents by serving in a similar capacity.

WHAT YOU AS COLLEAGUES CAN DO

The key to clearing the miasma that surrounds [race and gender] is to adjust the way we view, or don't view, them. You can do this by consciously developing an open mind-set and proactively soliciting relationships that cross race and gender lines.

* Respect all people. To accomplish this goal effectively, look closely at your attitudes for any conscious--and perhaps more important, unconscious--biases that may be driving your thought processes and behaviors.

As a part of this process, people have to recognize what stereotypes they may have accepted as true or partially true, and then work to free themselves of these influences. Work to promote respectful individual and systemic treatment for all in your organization. Depending on your corporate responsibilities, you might do this through policymaking, hiring and promotional practices, assignment of projects, and so forth.

* Don't over assume similarities. Although there are always some similarities, assuming more similarities than exist can work to separate and add to the alienation, rather than to bring you and others closer together.

One classic example involves the relationship between black and white women. Having something like race or gender in common certainly can be a starting place for developing a bond, but the relationship must be nurtured as the differences between the groups are acknowledged, respected, and understood in terms of both challenges and opportunities.

* Find trusted agents. Keep in mind that your agent can speak only for himself or herself, not for African Americans at large. In fact it is reasonable to assume that if you view your agent as a group spokesperson, she most likely will not see you as a trustworthy agent. You and your agent must recognize each other as individuals who may be able to shed light on a group's behavior rather than as people who are indistinguishable from the group.

The organizational and relationship dynamics that stem from the combination of identity, responsibility, and gender are complex. Understanding their interplay and the nuances of their expression sets the groundwork for understanding and building purposeful professional relationships.

Reprinted from Leading in Black and White by Ancella B. Livers and Keith A. Caver. Copyright [c] 2003 by John Wiley & Sons Inc. by permission of Jossey-Bass, a Wiley Imprint. (Log on to www.blackenterprise.com/books to order a copy.)