Cameron's lost the plot with his book.

Byline: John McKie

THERE'S a new book been released this week, and it is called Cameron on Cameron.

Hang about. Who asked Andy Cameron what he thought of the Record's legendary sportswriter Alex?

Oh. It's not that Cameron. Nor is it Charlie's Angels babe Cameron Diaz on whether she fancies Cameron from Big Brother and Orkney.

It's Conservative leader David Cameron talking at great length about the absorbing subject of... David Cameron.

Most of you would probably rather read something from Katie Price's Perfect Ponies series, or Kerry Katona's 2007 opus How To Get Your Life Back On Track than this. (Kerry went bankrupt on Thursday, so prepare for a sequel.) That's not the issue. This is - what has this nyaff actually done?

Recited a speech without notes.

Given us a Tony Blair impression which was slightly better than Jon Culshaw's and not as good as Rory Bremner's. Broadcast footage of himself doing the washing-up on the net. Went to Georgia not to help anyone but to point-score against Gordon Brown. Ate some cakes.

And... that's it.

Here he is always with an eye for the main chance, looking at Barack Obama's book, and thinking: "I'll have some of that." Obama wrote his.

The Conservative leader just tells the editor of GQ that he watches Gavin and Stacey, he cried at his wedding and wears Marks & Spencer underwear.

This is the danger with Cameron.

He seems to have charmed most of southern England with his regular bloke routine (so regular he's a direct descendant of William IV) but on policies, he's evasive.

The only one anyone remembers is cutting stamp duty and that was when he thought Gordon Brown was about to call an election.

He talks up green issues by cycling, then gets his car to follow him home with papers.

He compares himself with Margaret Thatcher and then makes touchy-feely comments about Britain's "broken society". He ridicules Tony Blair for going on Blue Peter then... you've guessed it.

Gordon Brown is making a mess of things, but give him his due. He hasn't had the brass neck to sanction a book of conversations before he's achieved the square root of sod all. David Cameron has. And he deserves to be laughed out of town for it.

Then again, Brown on Brown might be worth reading. The PM's as entitled as anyone to have an opinion on how Celtic's Scott fits into George Burley's midfield.

CAPTION(S):

VAIN: Cameron talks himself up