CYBER : A NOVEL(TY) APPROACH.

Byline: Tom Hoffarth

Until last year, Bill Stratton's Internet link to NFL greatness was achieved by clicking on to the Denver Broncos' home site to see what was up with Granada Hills High schoolmate John Elway (Class of '79).

Then came Stratton's business Web site called Sports Collectibles Heaven (http://www.nflcollectibles.com).

Which means that if Elway needs a 4.3 cubic foot refrigerator with reversible hinge, CanStor door liner and - the most essential element - with a a big ol' Broncos logo on the door, he's got to track down Stratton to buy it. (Item W69, $355).

Stratton's site for sore eyes has more than 100 NFL-licensed items for sale that you just can't make up. Or, pretty much, find anywhere else.

``Everyone sells hats, jerseys and jackets,'' said Stratton, a devoted Dallas Cowboys collector who runs the site out of his Granada Hills home. ``I didn't want to do that.''

Instead, he has essential novelties for the ultimate NFL fans, such as:

Hot dog holders: Two foot-long boards that look like a small jaialai stick, holding up to six dogs in a bun. Item W31, $24.

Lazy Susan: Or, in this case, a lazy Seahawk, Saint, Steeler, etc. Item W28, $50.

Helmet TVs: A 5-inch black-and-white TV crammed inside a team helmet with AM/FM radio and AC adapter. Thankfully, with removable facemask. Item W70, $329.99.

Dash mats: For your car's dashboard, of course. Item W32A, $78 (personalized for $92).

Nesting dolls: Those hand-painted wooden egg-shaped things that all fit into each other. Just like the ones you find in Solvang. Item W68, now $80. (Sorry, Dolphins and Steelers only).

Boots: Yeah, for your feet. Thermal winter ``Coldbusters'' with team logos. Not so much for Southern Californians, but . . . Item W61A (men sizes 5-14) and W61B (women sizes 6-12), $139.95.

Tapestry comforters and valances: What's a valance? Look it up. Item W54D (54'' x 16''), $49.95; Item W53C (Queen-sized comforter with 2 shams), $349.95.

Inflatable chairs: Holds up to 250 pounds, pre-beer intake. Item W56A&B (child and adult chair) $27.50/$52.50.

Pasta: Shaped like little footballs, with your favorite team listed as the brand. Item W84A&B (3 or 6 bags), $17.95/$32.95.

Kettle and water sold separately.

Note: Sports Collectibles Heaven also has a mail-order catalog that can be obtained by writing to P.O. Box 33141-WWW, Granada Hills CA 91394, or phoning 1-800-NFL-6SCH.

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PHOTO www.nflcollectibles.com