CUPID SINKS HIS ARROWS DEEP OLDER COUPLES CELEBRATE LASTING LOVE, RENEW THEIR MARRIAGE VOWS.Byline: SUE DOYLE Staff Writer RESEDA -- Standing under a heart-covered gazebo gazebo Lookout in the form of a turret, cupola (small, lanternlike dome), or garden house set on a height to give an extensive view. Few late-18th- and 19th-century rustic gazebos survive, but 17th-century turrets built up in an angle of the garden wall are not uncommon. at the Los Angeles Los Angeles (lôs ăn`jələs, lŏs, ăn`jəlēz'), city (1990 pop. 3,485,398), seat of Los Angeles co., S Calif.; inc. 1850. Jewish Home for the Aging, three married couples said "I do" Wednesday -- again. Renewing their vows on Valentine's Day Valentine's Day: see Saint Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day Lovers' holiday celebrated on February 14, the feast day of St. Valentine, one of two 3rd-century Roman martyrs of the same name. St. , the couples, all of them more than 80, tossed white-carnation bouquets into the air and sealed the deal with a kiss. "It feels good -- very good -- at this day in life to achieve 60 years together," said 90-year-old Jack Matz with his wife, Marie, 83, by his side. Their long lives together defy de·fy tr.v. de·fied, de·fy·ing, de·fies 1. a. To oppose or resist with boldness and assurance: defied the blockade by sailing straight through it. b. today's more-sobering statistics, with divorce predicted for as many as half of all marriages. And second marriages have just a 46 percent survival rate. But those grim statistics didn't arrive until the 1980s, when divorce became more common and, in a way, encouraged more, said Stan Charnofsky, who heads the marriage, family and therapy master's program at California State University, Northridge CSUN offers a variety of programs leading to bachelor's degrees in 61 fields and master's degrees in 42 fields. The university has over 150,000 alumni. It's also home to a summer musical theater/theater program known as TADW (TeenAge Drama Workshop) that leads teenagers through an . Charnofsky said women 35 and older in unhappy marriages used to more commonly stick it out through better or worse because if they didn't they often had little chance of remarrying. Not for worse But as divorce became more prevalent, women began taking the chance, striking out on their own in search of happiness. Seeing other divorces gave them courage. "Divorce encourages divorce," Charnofsky said. "So a woman out there who is not happy will take the risk." And what about unhappily married men? If men aren't happy in a relationship, they move on. Men also have the idea that they can attract someone else easily enough, Charnofsky said. For 96-year-old Jeffrey Davis and his 95-year-old wife Betty, there was never anyone else. Married for 71 years, the Years, The the seven decades of Eleanor Pargiter’s life. [Br. Lit.: Benét, 1109] See : Time couple held hands on Wednesday as they spoke of the first time they met. It was at a party in Boston. But they fell out of touch until a few years later when they ran into each other at another party. This time something clicked. Their key to successful marriage? "We worked at this," said Betty Davis
Less sickness Couples such as the Davises remain healthier than divorced, widowed people or those who never walked down the aisle, according to according to prep. 1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians. 2. In keeping with: according to instructions. 3. the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), agency of the U.S. Public Health Service since 1973, with headquarters in Atlanta; it was established in 1946 as the Communicable Disease Center. . The average length for a marriage today is seven years. The highest divorce rate happens in the first two years and in years 14 to 16, according to the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, a nondenominational non·de·nom·i·na·tion·al adj. Not restricted to or associated with a religious denomination. Adj. 1. nondenominational - not restricted to a particular religious denomination; "a nondenominational church" , nonpartisan group based in Washington, D.C. Although sometimes religion or culture helps keep people together, Charnofsky said it's friendship that endures over time, long after the passion fizzles Samuel Beckett used the word "fizzles" to describe eight short prose pieces: For to end yet again, Still, He is barehead, Horn came always, Afar a Bird, I gave up before birth, Closed place, and Old earth. . "Friendship stays and mellows and develops and grows," he said. "That's what makes a marriage last." One couple is about to put that to the test. Married just over one year, 86-year-old Genia Burman and her husband, Irving Mandel, 88, had tears in their eyes as they renewed their vows with the others Wednesday. When they met at the senior facility, each had a feeling there was something special about the other. He said that when they started to talk, she started to smile. She said he called her up before she ever gave him her phone number. Then he strolled past her room. Burman invited him in. "We lived happily ever after The term happily ever after is used in association with many works of children’s fiction and romantic fiction. It describes a happy ending, often a cliché in which all the good characters have emerged victorious and all the evil characters have been punished. ," said Burman, recalling the story. "We wanted to be together. And that's what happened." sue.doyle(at)dailynews.com (818) 713-3746 A healthy marriage With 130 years of marriage among them, three couples who renewed their vows Wednesday offered tips for making the magic last: Find someone compatible who has common interests Make the commitment Never give up Always say I love you Have children CAPTION(S): 2 photos, box Photo: (1 -- color) Betty Davis, 95, and her husband, 96-year-old Jeffrey, share a moment before renewing their wedding vows on Valentine's Day at the Los Angeles Jewish Home for the Aging in Reseda. The pair have been married for 71 years. (2) Three couples, from left, Genia Burman and Irving Mandel, Jack and Marie Matz, and Jeffrey and Betty Davis renew their vows at the Los Angeles Jewish Home for the Aging. Tina Burch/Staff Photographer Box: A healthy marriage (see text) |
|
||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion