CRUISING THE OCEAN LIKE ROYALTY.

Byline: Theo Douglas Staff Writer

ABOARD THE STAR PRINCESS - On the average cruise ship - even one the size of the original Love Boat (the Pacific Princess, which carried a scant 640 passengers) - you can get seriously lost. This can mean doing an entire tour of the deck while looking for the hot tub, or walking a couple of miles of endless hall until you finally locate your stateroom.

But it's not necessarily a bad thing; out in the Pacific, where your cell phone won't work and the office can't find you, you might just find - or relocate - yourself.

The newest Princess luxury liner, Star Princess, is longer than three football fields at 951 feet, and offers anonymity in spades. Not only by dint of the fact that you can quite easily get lost en route to the cyber golf course but because the phrase Personal Choice Cruising really holds true here.

Aboard the ship, you really can do what you want when you want to - amid luxurious surroundings worthy of a fine hotel. Boutiques stay open late. So do restaurants, where you can get a plate of fresh fruit at 10 p.m. or a rack of lamb when you'd usually order the Early Bird Special.

The Lotus Spa, the biggest in the Princess line, stays open late, too, and so do both the nine-hole and the cyber golf courses and the swimming facilities.

So, what to do? That is the question.

Well, you could see a show. The ship features everything from magic shows to acoustic country singer-songwriter fare to Broadway-type song and dance. Plus, with four lounges, a nightclub spinning Top 40 and a theater, there's always someone belting out a tune. (We caught country singer Barry Crompton's show one night, and while he wasn't Ryan Adams, his work was commendable.)

You might also get your foot caught in the door over at the casino - ironically, one row of machines is called the Titanic slots.

Other diversions include cyber golf. On the Star Princess, you tee off on AstroTurf, hammering the ball at a video projection of a green. To move the ball on the video projection, you have to hit the video screen - which is touch-sensitive - where you'd like to place the ball.

Avoid the outdoor putting green. It's scarcely different from miniature golf and the course is enclosed so as to avoid stiff breezes - which, of course, blocks any ocean view at all.

We'd recommend paddle tennis, which is easier and more congenial than the traditional version, or simply a brisk stroll around Sports Deck 16, which is marked so you'll know when you've power-walked a mile.

As for swimming, we'd go with either a lazy hot tub (always fun when you can keep the Pacific in sight) or the wave-making pool, where you can test your Australian crawl against the current. If you're in the mood for other water-based activities, try a seaweed wrap, while you're immersed in warm waters; some people say it's the ultimate soother.

Indoors? We found the Skywalkers Nightclub disco to be overhyped - if we never hear Kool & the Gang's ``Celebration'' again, it'll be too soon. But some people like it; we saw quite a few of them there, having fun twistin' the night away.

At 50 cents a minute, you'll quickly see the problems afoot at the Internet cafe. Every message you send is worth a buck at least. This being said, we couldn't stomach actually picking up pen to write a postcard, so we settled for checking out what others had written, at the ship's library.