CROSSING THE LINE: ACLU DOESN'T MERIT SEAL OF APPROVAL.

Byline: MARIEL GARZA

I am a big fan of the American Civil Liberties Union and the work it does defending our rights to free speech, freedom of the press and - believe it or not - freedom of religion.

That's why it pains me so when the organization takes on questionable crusades like getting the tiny cross removed from the Los Angeles County seal. It merely gives conservatives the fuel for using that ``he's just a card-carrying ACLU member'' slur.

Of course, the government can't go around pushing religion down people's throats and forcing us all to go to church or temple or mosques, as Afghanistan's horrific Taliban did. It is good and right to protect the separation of the institutions of church and state.

But by attacking a tiny symbol, lost among so many others on the seal, the group goes too far. A cross is one of the oldest symbols that humans ever came up with. Many religions and cultures incorporated types of crosses into their iconography in different ways and with different meanings.

Anyhow, if the ACLU is intent on alienating supporters such as I, it could take this ``de-iconification'' to its ultimate ridiculous conclusion. I'll even help with the following suggestions:

First of all, if the ACLU lawyers are successful in this fight to get the cross removed from the county seal, why not take the other religious symbols out? Like that lady with the fruit.

It doesn't take a theologian to see she's a Roman fruit goddess of fertility, probably worshipped by the California Druids. How dare those pagan icons be forced upon me every time I must view the seal of the great county of Los Angeles? I am outraged!

While they are at it, the cow must go. If I were a suspicious (or perhaps insane) person, I could read an endorsement of Hinduism into the placement of the cow. Believing cows to embody god, Hindus don't eat them. God equals religion, so that's got to go.

And don't even get me started on the fish.

But let's not stop there. No, let's root out every potentially religious icon in public until we can all live in a world without the worry of accidental conversion to another faith.

After the county seal, the natural next step would be the de-iconification of the city of Los Angeles's seal. It is framed by a string of rosary beads, representing the Catholic missions' contribution city history.

After dealing with the city's seal, the ACLU could take on the USA's cash money.

It's obvious that the words ``In God we trust'' on our greenbacks aren't ironic. Again, God equals religion. Very bad.

Next comes the official seal of the United States. On the front is that regal bald eagle. But on the back is that creepy pyramid with an eyeball on top that I always suspected symbolized some hermitic order of mystics engaged in harnessing the power of the pyramids to promote development of the third eye.

An official U.S. government Web site calls it the Eye of Providence and explains the symbol like this: ``The eye over it and the motto, Annuit Coeptis - meaning He (God) has favored our undertakings - allude to the many interventions of Providence in favor of the American cause.'' Talk about mixing up church and state business! It sounds like the U.S. seal, which is on the back of every single $1 bill, is pushing religion every time a buck changes hands.

After the seals and the money are reduced to featureless and barren depictions, then it will be time to redo the flag. Yes, the old Stars and Stripes is so steeped in religion that I feel like falling down and talking in tongues every time I must see it fluttering from a government facility. It's all those darn stars, which everyone knows are used by religions such as Judaism and Islam.

Last, we dump the Statue of Liberty (hello, Greek goddess) back into the cold depths of oblivion from whence it came, by which I mean France. Only then will we live in a society where everyone will feel equal - or at least equally appalled.