CRIT-O-MATIC.

Byline: - David Kronke

BRAM AND ALICE - One star

Logline: Bram (Alfred Molina) is a womanizing alcoholic coasting on the success of a novel written years ago. Alice (Traylor Howard) is the daughter he scarcely knew he had. He hits on her, then she moves in with him.

Noteworthy performances: Molina flexes the same overly broad mannerisms that torpedoed his previous sitcom ``Ladies Man'' (betraying none of the ability he exhibits in his film roles); Howard's nervous, squinty shrillness paints Alice as a nitwit. Neither attempts to portray anyone we'd want to spend any time with.

Originality: 1

Credibility index: 1

Laughs in tonight's episode: 1

Inadvertent laughs: The witless wit can almost be amusing. Bram's assistant is named Paul Newman - that's actually intended as some sort of joke, or at least the canned laughter seems to think so. And the supporting characters - a bitter single woman and a bartender who used to be a priest - seem like parodies of sitcom characters.

Who should lose their job: Whoever thought it would be a good idea to introduce the series to a viewing audience lingering after ``60 Minutes'' With an incest gag - not a dark, sophisticated incest joke, but a cheesy, sitcom incest gag - demonstrates little understanding of TV demographics or TV humor. It might've made more sense to offer the premiere episode up as a flashback episode a few shows down the

line. As is, immediate viewer alienation seems a given.

In a nutshell: Creators Joe Keenan and Christopher Lloyd used to work on ``Frasier.'' Judging from this, you'd think they used to work on ``Emeril.''

Where: CBS (Channel 2).

When: 8:30 tonight.

CAPTION(S):

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Photo:

(color) no caption (scene from ``Bram and Alice'')