CRIT-O-MATIC.

Byline: - David Kronke

HALF AND HALF - Two stars

Logline: Estranged half-sisters Mona (Rachel True), who grew up financially deprived, and Dee Dee (Essence Atkins), who grew up in the lap of luxury, move into rooms in the same apartment building owned by their father, setting the stage for standard-issue comic bickering. As an added bonus, their respective mothers are at one another's throats, as well. Were it on the WB, it'd be called ``What I Hate About You.''

Noteworthy performances: In a sitcom populated by caricatured characters, True stands out as nominally more credible.

Originality: One and one half stars

Credibility: Two stars - and that's being generous. Sample plot line: Mona's concerned that Dee Dee's stealing her best friend and misjudges a date, chestnuts from the Mesozoic era of sitcoms.

Laughs per episode: Four spread over two episodes available for preview.

Inadvertent laughs: Mona's mom calls her ex-husband ``Bad sex.'' It's not funny, but the idea that someone thought it would be is, in a perverse kind of way. Actually, a lot of the jokes play that way.

Who should lose their job/be promoted: The production designer, who forgot that the door opening into the upstairs apartment was stage right in the pilot (it's stage left in episode two). Of course, given the building's implied architecture, it should've been stage left from the beginning. The angle at which the upstairs walls tilt are improbably altered in episode two, as well.

Where: UPN (Channel 13)

When: 9:30 tonight.

In a nutshell: Inoffensive, but nary an original thought in its head.

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Photo:

Rachel True, left, and Essence Atkins play sisters who meet after moving into the same apartment building in ``Half and Half.''