CRIT-O-MATIC.

Byline: - David Kronke

``Everybody Hates Chris''

(UPN Channel 13; 8 tonight)

Logline: Comedian Chris Rock, circa 1982 (and in comic narration), is bused from his boyhood Brooklyn home to distant Corleone Junior High (``Take away the gangs - add the Mob''), where he's the only black student. Poor 13-year-old Chris (Tyler James Williams) must contend not only with racist bullies at school, but also his parents (Terry Crews, Tichina Arnold), who struggle to make ends meet, and his siblings (Tequan Richmond, Imani Hakim), who delight in getting him in trouble.

Pros: Much nicely observed shtick, such as Chris' parsimonious parents divvying up family foodstuffs, and Chris' mother's loving yet intimidating threats: ``I'll put my foot so far up your behind you'll have toes for teeth.'' The humor when Chris lands at the all-white school is pointed, yet not bitter, as a white pal asks him, with feverish expectations, about his tough neighborhood, ``Have you ever been shot?'' Chris responds, ``No - at least not yet.'' There's also a wealth of great old-school music on the soundtrack, too, except during Chris' fight with a bully, which plays out, amusingly enough, to Paul McCartney's insipid ``Ebony and Ivory.''

Cons: It would've been nice if a second episode had been made available for review, to ensure the pilot's quality was no fluke. Convincing viewers familiar with UPN's ignominious past of its new quality programs can be a tough sell, as ``Veronica Mars' '' small audience demonstrated last year.

In a nutshell: An almost-perfect blend of silly and/or smart jokes, social commentary and sentimental portrayals of family life.

Our rating: Three and one half star

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no caption (``Everybody Hates Chris'')