CRIT-O-MATIC IT SLICES, IT DICES!Byline: David Kronke In a new season of mostly cookie-cutter programs, what better way to review them than in a cookie-cutter fashion? Hence, we introduce the Crit-O-Matic: a time-saving device that lets you know everything you want about a new show! (Trust us: The folks who created most of these programs know a thing or two about skimping on the writing.) We'll give full reviews to deserving new series, but many of the fall's new programs will receive all the deconstruction they merit in this handy format. LIFE WITH BONNIE Life With Bonnie is an ABC television comedy that originally aired from 2002-2004. The show outlined the life of character Bonnie Malloy, who juggled her personal life and a TV talk show position. - Two stars Logline: Bonnie Hunt stars as Bonnie Molloy, a harried mother of three who hosts an equally disorganized dis·or·gan·ize tr.v. dis·or·gan·ized, dis·or·gan·iz·ing, dis·or·gan·iz·es To destroy the organization, systematic arrangement, or unity of. Chicago morning show. Noteworthy performances: Critic's darling Hunt has her moments when she's performing on the fly during interview segments on her show; otherwise, she's hamstrung by terribly familiar material. Originality: Two stars Credibility index: Two stars Laughs per episode: 2. Who should lose their job: Whoever cast the capably comic David Alan Grier David Alan Grier (born June 30, 1955) is an American actor and comedian known for his work on the sketch comedy television show In Living Color. Biography Early life in the laughless role as Molloy's loud yet ineffectual producer. Where: ABC ABC in full American Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. (Channel 7). When: 9:30 tonight. In a nutshell: The ostensibly zany, behind-the-scenes stuff isn't funny; the family stuff is bland; only her extemporaneous bits with her show's guests amuse. Maybe she should just host a real talk show. PUSH, NEVADA - Two stars Logline: Co-creator Ben Affleck's stylized styl·ize tr.v. styl·ized, styl·iz·ing, styl·iz·es 1. To restrict or make conform to a particular style. 2. To represent conventionally; conventionalize. mystery about stolen money - which you can win! IRS An abbreviation for the Internal Revenue Service, a federal agency charged with the responsibility of administering and enforcing internal revenue laws. agent Jim Prufrock (Derek Cecil) investigates some shady goings-on at a casino in a small Nevada town, where everyone, good and bad, is monitored by mysterious forces. Hmm, or ho-hum? Noteworthy performances: Cecil out-deadpans Kyle McLachlan's turns in ``Blue Velvet'' and ``Twin Peaks.'' Scarlett Chorvat as Mary, the strumpet STRUMPET. A harlot, or courtesan: this word was formerly used as an addition. Jacob's Law Dict. h.t. who doles out clues verrry slowly, apes a narcotized nar·co·tize tr.v. nar·co·tized, nar·co·tiz·ing, nar·co·tiz·es 1. To place under the influence of a narcotic. 2. To put to sleep; lull. 3. To dull; deaden. Sherilyn Fenn in ``Twin Peaks.'' Their somnolence somnolence /som·no·lence/ (som´no-lens) drowsiness or sleepiness, particularly in excess. som·no·lence n. 1. A state of drowsiness; sleepiness. 2. pretty much defines the show. Originality: Three stars Credibility: One and one half stars Effectively dramatic moments: None, really, but potentially all of them - you have to pay rabid attention to oddball details in virtually every shot to win the money in the contest. Who should lose their job: Whoever scheduled this (in its regular time slot) opposite ``CSI'' and ``Will & Grace,'' tipping the network's hand as to how little faith it really has in the show. Where: ABC (Channel 7). When: 10 tonight; 9 p.m. Thursdays thereafter. In a nutshell: You've heard the phrase, ``They couldn't pay me to watch this show''? Here's where it applies. The contest gimmick sells the show, but is also its albatross - if you're not trying to win the cash, there's not a lot of point in watching this turgid assortment of David Lynch-ian cliches. And then, there's all the time you have to spend tracking down clues in corresponding Web sites. Even with the promise of a big-cash payout, is it worth it? CAPTION(S): photo Photo: no caption (Bonnie Hunt) |
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