CRIT-0-MATIC.

Byline: - David Kronke

``Second Time Around''

(UPN Channel 13; 9:30 tonight)

Logline: A divorced couple (Nicole Parker, Boris Kodjoe) remarry; mild high jinks ensue. Tonight, they attend a couples' group, which threatens to cause more trouble than it solves.

Pros: Parker and Kodjoe have terrific chemistry together, even exchanging dodgy dialogue, and why not? They're a real-life couple.

Cons: Boy, the laugh lines are weak: ``Marrying the same guy twice is like reheating leftovers;'' ``You can't put meatloaf in the microwave and expect it to come out steak.'' Conflicts are likewise pretty simplistic, and as the series progresses, the relative novelty of their remarriage will disappear, leaving precious little as a hook.

In a nutshell: Wan humor hasn't exactly hurt some of UPN's other Monday comedies.

Our rating: Two stars

``Listen Up''

(CBS Channel 2; 8:30 tonight)

Logline: Jason Alexander stars as Tony Kleinman, a lifestyle newspaper columnist who also hosts a sports-talk TV show with his pal Bernie (Malcolm-Jamal Warner). At work, he's an ostensibly witty guy; at home, he's a borderline embarrassment to his wife (Wendy Makkena) and kids (Daniella Monet and Will Rothhaar). Based (loosely, we'll assume) on the life of Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post and ESPN.

Pros: Kleinman is just a more successful incarnation of Alexander's famous ``Seinfeld'' character, George Costanza. (George himself, remember, was always a vicissitude of fate away from outrageous fortune.) This doesn't mean he's any less clueless.

Cons: He could use wittier writers, though: ``I'm your father - ask your mother'' is what passes for a laugh line here, and a lame mock ode to soccer is considered a show-stopper. He also needs to lose the comb-over.

In a nutshell: Remember ``Seinfeld's'' edict of ``no lessons, no hugs''? Not in effect here. You decide if that represents an improvement. The show may survive in its protected time slot (even ``Yes, Dear'' managed that), but needs to punch up its wit - and give the rest of the cast something to do - if it plans to be around as long as Kornheiser himself has.

Our rating: Two stars