CONEJO PLAYERS' PHYSICAL COMEDY A LAUGH WORKOUT; `RUMORS' A GUT-BUSTING FARCE.

Byline: Victoria Giraud / People and Places

Be prepared to laugh at ``Rumors,'' the Neil Simon farce presented by the Conejo Players. Highlighted by sheer silliness and physical comedy, it's just plain fun.

Directed by the multitalented Don Pearlman, the cast is superlative. The actors have their bits of physical comedy down pat, giving a choreographic touch to this very humorous play.

Charlie and Myra Brock have invited four couples to their classy New York suburban home for a 10th anniversary party. Chris (Denice Stradling) and husband Ken (Ron Ford) arrive to the sound of a gunshot. Charlie has shot himself through his earlobe, and Myra is nowhere to be found. The servants have disappeared, dinner hasn't been started and normal preparations aren't in evidence.

The hilarity stems from the tangled web of rumors, misconceptions and lies told as each couple arrives and tries to figure out what is actually going on. The couples, whose relationships are a comic study in themselves, confuse each other and frantically race about.

Rumors start right away as Chris and Ken speculate that Myra's run off with a lover, and Charlie has attempted suicide as a result. Ken insists to his wife that when the other guests arrive, they keep the facts a secret and pretend that Charlie and Myra are simply getting dressed. As lies tend to do, they grow and become more complicated, and those telling them forget the original fib.

Claire (Marcy Adriane Austin) and Lenny (Wes Deitrick) are late and angry because their new BMW has been sideswiped by another car.

When Ernie (Terry Fishman) and his doltish wife Cookie (Gail James) arrive, they pitch in to help prepare dinner, and Ernie is mistaken for the butler by the next arrivals, Glenn (Bill Brandt) and his New-Ager wife, Cassie. Glenn has his own problems; Cassie (Leigh Sandness) imagines he is having an affair and won't be convinced otherwise.

Glenn and Cassie, still arguing about his alleged affairs, leave first, and are confronted by police outside the home. Still worried about Charlie and Myra and trying to cover up the details even they aren't sure about, the couples left in the house determine to further confuse the issue by impersonating each other when Officer Welch (Mark Fagundes) and Officer Pudney (S. Krystal McCauley) come in to investigate what turns out to be the theft of Charlie's new Porsche.

The side-splitting ending is a fast-paced tour de force, the capper to an evening of hearty laughter.

THE FACTS

WHAT: ``Rumors,'' by Neil Simon.

WHEN: 8 p.m. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays; through Sept. 27.

WHERE: Conejo Players, 351 S. Moorpark Road, Thousand Oaks.

COST: $8, Thursday; $10, Friday; and $12, Saturday.

INFORMATION [phone].